I'm a stag

Well, I took another quizlla (dot) com and my result for my "What's your inner Spirit totem Animal?" The Stag. You are protected by the spirit of the deer, swift of foot and of mind; you keep true to yourself while thinking of the good of the herd. You are an independant and free spirit, capaple of solemnity and of true bravery. As long as you stay honest with yourself the Stag will protect and serve you well. Your quote: "If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself" It sound like me. *grin*

Okay, here I am. Look like I'm able to have time to get online tonite. How's it going? Things are okay. My parents and two pets are doing good. I'm doing okay, too. Thank goodness that my mom isn't have any guilt-trip since my cousin's wife put her in a spot. I admit that I am hoping that we are doing the right thing. I'm pretty sure that we are.

Here's something a little bit funny. After I've been working for clothings at the store, I was at the downtown a different store. I was just check out what they have and stop by at the clothing store. I almost did what I normally do at the work. I caught myself before I continue and place back where it has been misplace. Ha. I couldn't believe that I did that. I wonder if my habit will continue like that in other stores?

Anyway, I'm so glad that the weather had been raining since last week. It really helps to cool things down here. Even though it is 80 degrees, it still feel so much cooler better than 110 degrees. The wind is blowing so nicely. There's a mild humid but still so much nice. Ya know what's so funny? I spotted to some Texas people are actually wear jackets and sweaters. I try not to laugh. It's kinda funny. Something tells me that they are not so use to that chilly weather and I'm willing to bet they would freeze their butts off if they ever go up North during Fall and/or Winter.

That reminds me that I do know one girl who from AZ and she said that 70 degree is very nice since she finally know how it felt to be freezing at Washington DC while many other people kept saying that it's too COLD. I admit that I was kinda puzzle by that and since I was here. Now I know how HOT it was for 110 to 120 degree and many people are use to that. They are not use to the degree 70 to 80 degree are very nice weather.

Oh, didn't anybody watch Animal Planet where the man who seem crazy enough to get himself killed? Almost being biten by Crodildle, snakes, and many other pretader. Well, that man got killed. I asked, "is it from the crocoidle?" Nope, it wasn't. Turn out that man try to pet a large string ray. It's about 7 foot wide long. Somehow that Ray was being starlted and strung him striaght into the heart. He was still alive and decided....

Never never never never never never never and I said again, Never never never never never never never EVER pull it out. Doesn't matter what kind of objects nails, knife or anything that periced into the heart (or nearby). Leave it alone and go to hostptial, that would give you better chance to survive

but that man decided to pull it out and that's what killed him. I've been watching a lot of Untold stories of ER, Medical mircles, 911 rescue and etc. That's how I know that you are *not* suppost to pull it out. Knife, ax, and nails (that are 4 to 6 inches) are the example of anywhere in the body parts including legs, arms and the back. Just leave it alone, chances that there might be main aurtery and it can kill you if you pull it out. So call 911 and go to hostpial . That would increase a chance to save your own life.

I hope that someone is reading this and will remember.

Well, I guess that's all for now.

Cuz, it’s Christian things to do

My mom said that she’s concern and hoping the good Lord would forgive her for not helping cousin’s wife. She said that it is a Christian things to do to help others. I felt like of wanna to say, “Geez, that’s ridiculous, I couldn’t believe that ya said that.” However, I refuse to say that. Instead, I remind my mom again that she has NPD. She will do anything to get your money until you hang dry. I told her that there’s nothing you can do. She made her choice to tell you the lie. It’s her fault for causing you suspious like last time. It makes sense that you can’t trust her again. That’s a normal respond. God would understand that. He wouldn’t blame you for having guts feelings. That’s what God give you for to trust your instinct if something tells you it’s wrong. It’s cousin’s wife will have to face God for taking advantage of you, mom. You did the right thing. I know how much you want to help her kids so she knew your soft spot and she will take advantage of that. Again, there is no way you can help the kids. She is using the kids to get through anybody and everything will be on her. She's the center of attention. That's what I told my mom. She seems feeling a little bit better.

It's like we are giving the person a fish to feed one day instead of teaching that person how to fish will feed her/himself for lifetime. So, we are giving the money instead of teaching them how to stand on their own feet. If they refuse to learn then leave because it isn't worth your time to teach those who refuse to learn. I remember when I met some people who are SO smart and yet, SO dumb. I often wonder how in the world they live?? Now, I know, they are taking advantage of us just because it is Christian things to do (or any other religions).

Also, few years ago, one girl who is in the wheelchair needed a lift to go to airport. She said she have no way to go. I asked my parents about that. They said they can't and they approch her and asked her if there is another way you can go for? She said no. My mom said, "we have no choice but to take her because it is a christian things to do" It's funny. The day, we are taking the wheelchair girl to the airport. This guy approach her and asked her, "did you find a ride, if not, I will take you there." The whole time, she said that she doesn't have a ride and she lied. I stood there and realize the whole situation and how inapproarate to do that.

It's funny, I couldn't remember who said that but I remember someone who isn't a mormon religion mention I rather to ask Mormon people to help us moving and etc because that's Mormon have to do is to help other people. By helping others are a way to earn to get to heaven. I thought that wasn't very nice things to do by taking advantage of someone's belief. Now, I know.

I notice that there are so many NPD are church-goers, that’s another main reason why I don’t go. It make sense that they are using people and take advantage of their guilt trip because they have to help others because it is Christian things to do. That is also explain why so many Christian people and including me feeling so emotional drainage. It makes sense. Other things that make sense is that they stop going to church because they weren't happy or didn't find good spiritual there. Now that's explain I like this statement by Jesus, "God is all around you and within you, not the madison of stone or wood (church), lift the stone, you'll find me, split a wood, I'm there. So God is all around us and inside of our hearts." I do know that cousin's wife is a church-goer, too.

That's another reason why we are having hard time saying no. We are having hard time to set up the boundary. Most of the time, I don't care about what other people thinks but I do admit that once in a while I do have hard time to say no when they asked for help. Sometimes I do have hard time setting a boundary and sometimes I can be passive and sometimes not. My mom is passive a lot. She have hard time saying no. She always have guilt trip. I looked back and realize that my mom was teaching me to do the opposite of what she had been through. Meaning, she teaching me not to have guilt trip and don't worry about what other people thinks. She kept constantly reminding me about that. My mom doesn't want me to go through the same thing she's going through. That's why I manage not to worry about what other people thinks and able to stand up for myself, most of the time. I'm still human and I do have some weakness but not as much as my mom. She has more weakness than I do. I think because my mom was raise by NPD mother who constantly putting my mom guilt-trip and tries everything she can do to please her mother. So, she doesn't know how to stand up. However, she manage to put me guilt-trip sometimes. I notice. I've manage to set my sheild there.

I also notice that I've set myself a shield of every guy I meet and every people I meet since I left my second EX. Mainly, I do not want to fell in love with wrong guy. I rather take things easy and slow before I able to release my shield. At the same time, remain true to yourself. When nessearcy to protect yourself is to walk out and never look back. Only times to look back is to learn not to make the same mistake twice.

OFF SUBJECT:
Here's a funny moment but first, hearing people, if you are reading this then I'm sorry that I might sound offensive but it's cute and funny story.

Here it is:
When deaf people and I are going out to restuarant, we sat on the table. It is almost always, the waiter come to our table and start fast talking or babbling on and on about the special prices for the day or something new that isn't in the menu. We just sit there and look at her to let her finish her presentation that we do not understand. Finally, she asked, "what do you want for a drink?" That's when I able to understand and start signing to other deaf "What kind of drink do ya want?" Everybody opens their menu and using their fingers to point on the menu of what they want. Often time I notice the waiter realize how much fool they feltby babbling on and on to the deaf people. I can see their face expression that they feel like an idiotic. Other times, I notice their face expression like "oh!" with the lip shape of O. They couldn't believed that they kept talking for nothing. Also, I can see thier faces are red, sometimes. I try not to laugh when I see that plus I do felt sorry for their embrassing moment.

Well, I'm going to work at the store for a long week. So, I may not be online for quite a while.
~Good Nite~

Lies, Lies, and Lies

Yeah, I know. First, there is going to be a kinda venting moments with disappointed.

Knowing that my cousin was raised by NPD grandma. So, he married one. It's really sad. After my bad experience with my ex, I already know who I'm dealing with. However, my parents doesn't. Espeically my mom, she is still clueless around NPD.I told mom that she has NPD. I explain a lot about it. My mom wasn't happy that she lied about her son who had allergic reaction from tick and needed money to pay hosptial bill. So, she send through wire money. Next 2 days, she called from Tenn and having fun at the aquirium. Staying hotel, she bragged that she got the money from the wired other day. That's NPD. And she even asked for more money.

My mom asked her husband who staying home (he didn't go with her and he had no idea where his wife is at), he told my mom that tick never bitten his son. And he doesn't have any allergic reaction. Of course not, she use my parents money and left to Tenn. I already knew that she's lying.

My mom said that she is very good with money that's why my cousin is giving her resonpsible. Ha! I told mom it's like trust your dog to watch your meal for you.*sigh* they're bankrupt and they have no choice but living with her mother (grandma). They had lost home. Now, she asking more money. My mom kept saying something that she doesn't make sense. I told mom, the more you talk to her and askes question the more she'll lied. My mom went ahead and called her again to ask questions. I warned my mom that she would not take no for an answer.

My mom did said no but cousin's wife kept manpluating to make my mom feel guilty. Also, my mom found out that she telling 2 different stories on the phone. I told my mom that NPD will keep telling lies even the truth will set you *free*. My mom said she wants to help the babies (which is now they have 2 boys). I told her, there is nothing you can do. NPD will keep all the money. Best thing you can do as I told my mom is keep sending Birthday and Christmas gifts to them. No matter what. Keep on sending and never the money. No matter what. Cousin's wife will kept it all the money for herself.

Something else that my mom told me that she kept asking cousin's wife why she didn't ask for help from her own parents that she have. She said that either they are not home or out of town the same thing. I told mom that I'm willing to bet that her parents stop giving her the money because of all the lies she kept saying and using them for the money.

My mom also said that it is same with her brother who always making up lies just by getting more money. I told mom that he does have the same NPD. That I already knew. Just that my parents doesn't. It's sad that kids are affecting by NPD parent (or both). Even though they never pysical abuse but they do recieve mental and spiritual abuse. It is almost the same as "Ever After"Cinderella. One young boy will become like Cinderella while the other will be like the Stepmother. Sometimes both will have NPD. It's sad that happens for gerenalition and the next.

Like I said, "just do your best as you can by giving the love that they need even in long distance." The rest is up to them.

OFF TOPIC:
Reese is doing good. She wants to play again. I did play with her for about an hour before I leave work because I know that I would be too tired to play when I come home but she still wants to play. I just throw a ball. Other time she doesn't want me to throw the ball. She wants me to chase her while she has the ball. *haha*

My parents are doing good and so do I. My legs are tired and so my feet but since I bought an excellent quiality pair of shoes, I notice the pain are reduce. It's still there but not so painful like the first 2 weeks that I have had. I'm glad for my brand new shoes. I needed them.

Smile!

Long Day

Today I have to get up early because I can't take a shower while thunderstorm last night. Finally, it has been raining all night and all day but on and off. It's about time! This place is so dry and brown.

I had hearing aid appointment in the morning then go to work. Like I said, it has been very long day. I got home about 11pm tonight. Reese is feeling better, now. She wants to play but I'm too exhausted.

During at work (and last week), they put me in Infants/Toddlers and Shoes dept for me to do. All I have to do is pick up the mess from other people left behind. Geez, I'm not a clean freak and I don't like to pick up other people's mess. However, I get to paid for it. *haha* As I was working at Infants/Toddlers. It makes me think of my good friend who is going to have a baby. I even thought about buying something but don't know what. Beside, I notice that I rarely use snail mail. I'm not the type of person who writes letters and mail them. I prefer emails. It's so much easier.

Well, I'm getting very sleepy so I'm going to bed, now. MMMmmm maybe find something sweet first. I'm thinking about sugar-free chocolate milk. It's good. I bought it that brand type is NestleQuick (sp?) with that brown rabbit picture on it. It's new sugar-free chocolate to make chocolate milk. Yummy and Healthy especially go with skim milk.

mmmm I have to ask my mom about how to make Fat Free and Sugar Free CheeseCake. It's easy to make and NO bake in the oven. That's right, ya don't have to cook it. Just do the mixtrue and put in the refridge. I'll try to remember when I get around to it to ask my mom. Okay.

Good Nite!

No Title #2

Really? How old did ya think I was back in Fall of '98??

Smile. Well, I'm free this weekend but not next weekend. I think next weekend is Labor Day weekend. Is it?? I lost track of time. Anyway, how's things going? I'm doing good. My parents are doing fine. My mom's cat, Tom-Tom is fine. He still don't like my dog, Reese. Reese sometimes like to give him hard time by walking by him too close.

However, Reese isn't feeling good lately. Past several days, she has going on and off diarrheal. This morning she had been barking of want to go outside but my mom and I want to sleep in. My mom didn't realize that she have to go. She did go in the kicthen. She did very good job of going outside to the bathroom. She really tries hard. Bless her heart. She's being such a good girl that she hold for about few hours or so. Of course, we didn't punish her. Meantime, we did call vet and the vet told us to give her ONE certian medication from the phramcy(sp?) store such as CVS or Walgreen. So, we did to see how is she doing the rest of the night and in the morning. If she didn't go diarrheal then she should be okay if not then I have to take her to vet on Saturday morning about 10:30am.

I hope that she's going to be okay. I'll let you know how she's doing in next few days.

Snow Leopard

(One of several favoite

creatures of mine.)

2nd week of working

Wow, time sure flies fast, already!!

Guess what? Yesterday and day before that, many people been asking me how old am I? I said, "guess."

Their respond 18,19, and 24. *LOL* None of them are true for my age. Haha. One elder lady said, "19?" My respond, "Nope." She asked, "Down or up?" I said, "Up." She guessed, "22?" I said, "Higher" She said, "25?" My repond, "Nope." She said, "GET out!" She find that hard to believe that I'm nearly 30's. I said that I will be 30 next month. She was like "WHAT? No way! I don't believe you!" I laughed hard. She looked at the other about young and asked her "Guess her age?" She guessed 24 years old. Then the elder lady said "no, she's 29!" She looked at me and said "Wow, ya looked good!" I said, "Thanks"

Many of them couldn't believe that I'm a lot older than my appearce. No wonder why a lot of younger guys... I do mean High School guys find me attractive. My mom said there is a guy next door likes you. I was like, "huh?" I told mom that he is tooo young for me and I'm tooo old for him. My mom didn't realize how old is he. I told her that I saw a sign said Congratlation Graudated High School last May of 2006 in the front yard and his name is Tommy. That's how I know he's about 18 or 19. (or possible younger).

Mmmm Maybe I should be a model?? *hahaha*

Anyway, I really enjoy that I do look young even I'm a lot older. Truth is that I have my father's side family that looks so young. Hopefully, I do have my strong dad's gene because most of my dad's side their death rate is between 100 to 105 years old. Very few in 95 years old. While my mom's side mostly 80's. Maybe I get to be 100 years old and get to see 300th anniversy of America for 2076 since 1776. Obvious, I born 1976. *wink*

Anyway, I really did enjoy talking to the workers around me and they are talking to me more. They kept asking me how to use sign language. I like working at night better than daytime with the workers. They seem friendlier. Well, next week, I'm getting extra hours of working, now. YAH! More money for me! I even have to work on Saturday but 8am in the morning next week. Ugh! I'm not morning person but I'm able to go for it. I wonder who's working on Saturday next week? We'll see.

Oh! I almost forgotten... Good news that my closest friend in Oregon, her kidney failure is able to reverse back to normal. It has to do something with allergic to certain medication that she has. Whew! I'm glad that she's going to be okay. Whoever read this and send good thoughts or prayers or both to her, THANKS!

Weekend Off

Well, I do have Monday off, too. Tomorrow (technically, today is monday), I'm going to shop for a pair of good tennis shoes. I hope that might help for this coming Tues, Wed, and Friday. That's right, I'm working on Friday. Not only that but I'm goint to work at night shift. Well, look at the bright side, I can sleep in. *LOL*

I hope that pair of good shoes would help my feet. Since, I've came home, I felt like I'm walking on thousand tiny thorns at the bottom of my feet. I give anything to help my poor feet. My legs feel so sore. Even though I've been walking an hour and swimming for an hour or more, my legs and feet are hurt when I come home. It's the concreate. They're not good for your legs and feet. Especially on the knee, it does put weight on your knee. If your weight more than your ideal weight then it would put a lot on your knee twice. Yes, it does put a lot of pressure on your knee.

Anyway, I admit that I do not really enjoy working at the store especially dealing with costumer. Obvious, I'm introvert but at the same time I don't really like to deal with hearing cstumers. I notice that I'm more introvert around hearing people while I'm extrovert with deaf people.

Ask yourself, do you tend to be the last person to stay at the party (whichever ya feel comfortable like christian's way of party or non-christian's way of party, depend on situation that you feel comfortable) or do you leave early?

If you are last person to stay at the party that means you are extrovert. If you leave early that means you are introvert. When I'm around hearing people, I leave early. When I'm around deaf people, I may be the last person to leave; however, I tend to stay to help clean up the mess before I leave. When I'm around with people who smoking and drinking, I leave early. If I'm around people who having fun times without drinking and smoking then I'm last person to leave.
It's depend on situation and which group do I hang out the most. Sometimes, I know that some deaf people are not so smart then I don't normally hang out with them. If I meet deaf people who are smart then I like to hang out with them. It is same with hearing people. I know that there are some hearing people who isn't smart and who is.

That's main reason why I don't like working with costumers especially when they are not nice. Even though it is only 3rd day of working, I feel like want to quit. I dunno yet. I'm going to try to hang in there for 60 days or so. I prefer to work at cashier. Only thing I have to do is "hi, how are you?" and "hope you have a nice day." Something like that, I don't have to deal with their complicated different questions of "where is this and that?" "Is this on sale?" "What's the different between 2 robes, one is on sale and other is not?" The worker told me it is because of color. Some people like that color better than other so the price stay the same while other color that people don't like use it on sale. Oh okay. I didn't know that but still some people asking complicated questions that I can't answer. Worst, some people have very soft voice which make it diffcult to understand. *Egh* At the cashier, the questions and answers are predictable. I know that person would either said, "I'm fine, so-so, tired, or boring" stuff like that. So I can able catch on that the usual possible answers.

I think I already mention at the resturant. It is predictable questions. I know one lady have VERY heavy accent from Mexico. I don't understand ONE word she said but I know those questions are being asked and I was able to answer. My mom was surprised that I was able to answer the questions. She asked me if I understand her. NOPE, not one bit but I can already predict what questions will answer.

Here's another example, when I come home from high school, my hearing aids' battery are dead. I do mean both hearing aids for 2 of my ears. I came into the kitchen as usual. I already knew my mom would asked the same question. "Hi! how was your school, today?" My respond, "Oh, good news, I past my test on math, today." My mom would replied as usual, "That's great! I'm happy for you" Or "Wow, I'm proud of you. I know that you can do it." Then my mom would asked me, "Mind get some veggies to wash and chop them up for me?" Which I grab them and do what she usually asked me. I never hear one or look at my mom the whole time. After a while, my mom notice something, (she does that everytime even today and it's my d***n pet peeves.) she sticks her finger in my ear, "Don't you have hearing aids on?" I told her "No, I don't because batteries are dead." Mom asked "How did you hear me?" My respond, "I'm deaf, mom! Because it is the usual rotinue! It is always the same questions and same answers every time." My mom went like 'oh' in her face expression. I contine as a teenager kind of way, "DUH!"

Limited of being deaf person, I prefer to stick the same rotinue when I'm around hearing people but when I'm with deaf people I'm the type of person who likes to change and enjoy changing rotinue. I do enjoy exploring and learning. I enjoy learn all the questions that they asked me to help me to think of how to answer the questions. It's doesn't matter what it is. Weather it is life struggle, advice, or challenge religion's belief, I like that. Some people have excellent question that I do not able to answer and other times I was able to answer perfectly. Well, being in a hearing world is not easy for the deaf people. It's frustrated sometimes.

Well, sometimes I just have to learn to put it up with it.

Okay, time for me to wrap up.

Oh my closest friend in Oregan, I haven't hear anything from her. All I know I will find out more news on Monday. Hopefully, a good news.... Please send a good thoughts and prayers for her. Thanks again!

2nd day @ work

Wow! My legs and feet are killing me!! When I came home and sit down for 10-15 minutes, I got up and my legs felt sore. My feet are stinging. I've been working for 6 hours walking and standing. I only able to sit down on my 15 minutes break twice. I work in clothing dept. I'm resonsble taking clothes from fitting room and put them back. I have to fold clothes and put on table and etc. Always neatly order of the clothes rack, costumers are so annoying. When I finally straight the hangers out in neatly order, the lady came up just look at it and mess them up on purpose. *Geez* Can ya believe that? Then I realize I had done the same thing but that time I was in teen year. It's normal. I don't do that anymore. That lady is in her 30's and that I consider so immature for her age. Now I understand how the workers feel of how frustrated to re-do them everytime when costumers are being just plain mean. It is not only frustrated but so tired and tedious because you have to go back and forth everytime. It's same o' rotinue.

*sigh* I'm going to work again tomorrow for another 6 hours. I dunno about this Friday and weekend. There is part of me hoping just to have a full 3 days off. My legs and feet are screaming for a rest.

Good Nite!

P.S. Please pray (or sending a good thoughts) for my closest friend who lives in Oregan/Washington state, she had kidneys failure. She is about the same age as I am. She's in hosptial and waiting for result of find out what causing this problems. Thanks again!

Got a Job! **adding

Well, seem like I did got a job. I got called this morning to ask to show up for orienation (sp?). It's all about rules, safety, and what should we do. Blah blah blah for 4 hours and a half. That young man is most talktive in the group. So that's why it's taking a little longer than it should be. However, I will be back for training at least 2 weeks or so. Afterward, I will get a full-time job for clothing postion. Yep. It's all about clothes. *grin* My favorite position to check out for clothes. Heehee, if I ever find something I like I might buy it after I finished working. Haha. Maybe not... I want to save money to pay off my bills and maybe have mini-vacition, I really want to get out of here! Obvious!

Lucky me that the store will closed on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year Day. It means I still get paid. *grin* I liked that. Full time job with benifits, that's what I needed. Soon, I'm going to set up for dental appointments. I hope my teeth are okay. I've been bushing my teeth for several years but didn't go to dental. It suppose to have regular check-up. We'll see. Hope nothing serious, I don't feel anything awful. I do cherish my teeth since every dentist I visit have always said that I have very good and beautiful teeth so take good care of them. I do not have to wear braces nor take the wisdom tooth out. Or any other complication stuff. Just one gold cap for cavity (sp?) in the back of my teeth.

Okay, since it has been long day. I'm going to take a nap for a little while.

***Adding more comments: Oh yeah, I almost forgotten. I am under probroation (sp?) up to 60 to 90 days before I actually stay in perement job. Oh boy, dealing with unfriendly costumer is not my favorite thing to do. Some of them can be quite rude. ***

Drug Screen

Well,

I went to the lab to get the drug screen. Everything is the first time for me. I have no idea where it is. I have a map but I kept missed my turn several times. Blah blah blah. Don't want to bored ya. After that, I got home and wait to hear a phone call from the Main Store. I should hear by next 6 to 7 days. Wish me luck!

Here's a small venting moment...

It has been second Friday of no closed caption, in fact, it has no closed caption since Aug 4th on my favorite channel Sci Fi. I am very disappointed that I missed couple of my favorite shows because of no closed caption. I'm not happy about that. Other channel the closed caption works fine. I tried my parent's tv and it has the same respond. I decided to give a try by send email from the sci-fi website to see if any luck. Surprisely, I recieve a quick respond and said I have to send snail mail to Sci Fi company in New York. Well, geez! Thanks-a-lot! Should I wait or should I send a letter?? What if there were too many people sending letter and they may not be able to read mine? Mmmmm...

Off-subject.
Things are going good. My parents are doing good and so am I. I truly am looking forward to get a job just to do something. Also, tmw (saturday), there is some kind of downtown festival but not in my area but the other side. We might go there to check it out to see if there is anything good. It's something for us to do. My mom is going nuts by staying in the house. I told her get a job, too. That will keep ya busy. She gave me a look. She doesn't want to. Who cares! If she wanna to bad enough then she'll go for it. If not, then too bad. Haha. It's up to her.

Oh if anybody read this then please send a good thoughts (or pray) to my long lost best friend in Oregan since she had a bad back pain from her fall. Thanks In Advance!
Quote of the day: "You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do."~Henry Ford

The real superman

What is Water Bear? I just watch last night tv show about eXtreme. For those creatures be able to wake up from the dead. The number one count down is called water bear. It is mircoscope creature. They're able to surive thru freezing -300 below degreeF and heat of 400 degree F up to 120 years. That tiny creature looks like a bear with 4 legged and has claws. Oh, they can survie in space and radioactive. AMAZING!

Check out couple website.
Water Bears - The World's Toughest Animal

And...

The incredible water bear

And...

Amazing Facts

Or check out more thru search engine websites.

Quote of the day: The best way to predict the future is to invent it. ~Alan Kay

Interview

Well, I did had interview today and it went very good. I was kinda surprised myself that I was able to talk about my strength and weakeness. When I started to talk, I notice my nervous seem gone. That's the first because last time I had interview, I was nervous the *whole* time!

I think I'm going to get hired but first I have to get thru drugs screen. Blah! I have to go tomorrow for that. pppffffttttttttttttt After 5 to 6 days if there's drug-free then it is possible I would be able to get to start work. At least it's something for me to do and earn some money. It's really cheap start cost of hour. I was kinda hoping a little bit more than that but guess not.

Oh, look at the bright side, when there is 75% to 90% off, we the workers are able to get them first. WHoo-Hoo!! I hate it every time I go to the store that have percent off and doesn't have MY size! Now, there's a good chance I would be able to get my size before somebody else. Especially when I enjoy shopping!! *grin*

I'm looking forward to do something in mean time I still haven't give up my goal to search for my biology major related. Maybe those biology dept would give me a better chance?? Once they see me that I am able to work with hearing people including customers and teamwork.

Quote of the day: You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.~Barbara De Angelis

Big Store

Yep, yep, yep, It's a big store that I applied the application either last Wed or Thursday. I got msg on phone possible Saturday morning. So I called back on Monday but the lady wasn't there so I called today. It is thru relay (An operator voice for me of what I type to the receiver on the other phone line), she seemed like surprised by the fact that I am deaf. Since the relay explaining twice what is relay. I decided to tell her that I have the ablity to speak and lipread very good. (Well, I didn't mention most of the time.) She asked me to come over for the interview tomorrow (Wed.) at 2:30.

Geez, I'm so nervous. Even though it is not my perement job but I am still nervous. My mom said if they didn't hire you, it is possible that they don't think it would fit my personality (since I am introvert, not extrovert.) My mom told me that when my dad had interview for a job and he didn't get it. My dad's boss did called and asked why. (Under Air Force to transfer a different job). The man told my dad's boss that he didn't think that my dad is a strong enough to handle this stressful job. His boss said, "Oh, yes he is, he had been working under me and I have seen he have the ability to handle very stressful job and I know that he can do that position, too." So he got hired and transfer. Point is that some people don't think it would not fit the personality and depend on what job would we able to handle or not.

I think my mom is trying to ease my nervous. Thanks mom for trying.

So, few minutes later, she brought up for another story. She said that "Do you remember when we went to the river and my parents rented Canoe and I get the open kayak (open means that there is nothing cover my legs in case I might flip over as for beginner.) By the time, I arrived first before my parents to the dock. There are workers to gather canoe, kayak, and others. Since I am voluptuous young lady, this guy refuse to help me because I can tell by the look of his face expression. Same time I knew he wouldn't hold the kayak for me. However, I can be very good atheltic in my own way. (it's the medication that make me look big.) I kinda wished that the dock is alittle bit lower or the water is a little bit higher as I look at it. It is above my shoulder. However, I use my both arms lift myself onto the deck as one leg on the dock while one foot is holding the kayak. If I let go of kayak, the higher chances that kayak would flow away someone have to swim to get it. I knew that the young boy wouldn't hold on the kayak. I used my foot to hold on and picked it up. The young boy saw it all and surprised that I have the ability to get on the deck and picked up the kayak all by myself. I gave it to him. He got full blast red in his face and said, "Thank You." as he took the kayak with him. My parents did saw it all.

I asked my mom why are you bringing that up? She said that nothing will ever comes in your way and you have manage to overcome adversity and I think that young boy is truly impressed with you and being embarassed by judging your appereance. You have the ablity to prove them wrong. So, some people may look at your apperence or look at your personality by mistake that same for my dad and I until someone or yourself prove that is not true.

I was like Yeah that's true. I know that. Sometimes it is nice to be remind. I know that my mom is trying to help me, however; sometimes I feel like she's helping a little bit too much. I just nod in agreement and hoping that she doesn't bring up another example. *LOL*

Well, I better get to bed very soon after my laundry. If I am going to get hired then I better wash most of my clothes so I can wear something clean this week and next week.

Wish me luck!
Quote of the day: Determination, patience and courage are the only things needed to improve any situation. ~Unknown~

Sharks!

Yep, it was last week for the Shark of the Week. Check out that story to find out if it is true or not.

There are 3 different ways for sharks to have babies.

Here's true facts: Shark baby know as pup. The blue shark does have pups grow inside the mother (like humans). There are about 2 to4 each on two sides. One or more will eat each other before they are born. Can ya believe that? Those blue sharks eat each other before they were born inside the mother. Wow! Now, that's very interesting.

Well, I'm going to say good nite.

General stuff

Well, here's another subject about guy, there is a guy who contact me via IM. We were talking online for a while then he asked me if I like poem. Sure, I do. Then he posted a poem and I asked him where did he get that from. He said that he did that himself and he likes to write poetry. I couldn't help but I am being wary about this. So, I went to google search as I continue to talk to him. He posted another poem. I couldn't find it at first but since he posted another poem so I decided to type full poem and I found the website. I asked him did someone wrote this. He said no and he said that he wrote it all by himself. I still wouldn't believe that. He posted another poem and it is from the same website. I checked out the first poem and it is still from that same website. My respond, I don't think you really wrote those poems it was really from somebody else. Claim it as his poem and really is not his. It is not a good sign. We chat some more, I kept things in gerenal. He wrote another poem few more. It is still from that same website. At last, I said bye and blocked him with no explanation. It's not worth my time. After a while, I notice that he's no longer member in the single club. Either that or is he changed to different one. I knew that he's just a scum and he's not a honest man. He's hearing and I feel like he treated me like I'm stupid. Now I bet he had a wake up call that I'm not and I am not the gullible type.

Anyway, I decided to created a new blog a month ago and I wasn't sure what to use it as a novel or what. Instead, I am going to use that blog "To Type or Not to Type" for any kind of stories. Short one, long one, poem one, quote one, or 2...... Or more, it's depend. There will be true or false otherwise it will be noted. I am still putting on my hold of writing a novel or writing a long story of based true story.

Another news

There's a news about in California, 2 older women in their 70's killed homeless man so they can earn 2 million dollars from the insurance. The insurance found out that is happen twice. So, they investigate and arrested those two older women. I wonder what's in their history? It can't be until later age to decided to kill someone.

*sigh* What a sad thing happen to our socity.

Anyway, the weather is sorta cool/warm but humid. The temperture will increase up to possible 100 tomorrow. If I have to pick summer or winter, I rather winter even though I prefer Fall time.

Oh, before I forgotten True or False? I wrote a story earlier and wonder if you want to know weather or not if it is true. Please read this story first before you know what the answer. The answer will be at the below of my comment.

Well, I did apply my resume a few more companies and hope to hear from them soon in next few weeks. If not, then I may go ahead and start working at the basic job until I pay off my debt. Maybe it is time for me to go back for graduate school. I know it can be quite expensive. However, it might help me to get a better job. I am not interesting in basic job and I know I don't deserve that after hard work at University that I've been through.

Off the subject, ever watch Anne the Green Gable? It's my favorite all time movie part 1 through 3 (or is it 4?) I love'em all. Kinda remind me of my best friend who has black hair and I have the red hair. Yep. I do have red hair! (more like dark red). However, I use to have red as Anne then later change to strawberry blonde then blonde. Later, my hair turn almost brown and now dark red with the hit of some sunlight. It is all from the sun or no sun. I never dye my hair but once I try highlight but not heavy just light. The lady who did my hair asked me light, medium, or heavy amount of highlight. So I pick light just to see if I like it. I do but it makes my hair looks so unhealthy later on. Anyway, if you haven't see that movie then check it out. It's about orphan young girl who grew up to be a beautiful young lady.

Okay, I better wrap up to go.
Quote of the day: "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." ~Susan B. Anthony


Well, that story is true.

About Men!

Well, GEEZZZ, I can't believe this! I got the "mail" from the email thru internet to find love for single people to meet each other. Well, guess what? I got an email from a deaf guy said, "I hope that you would lose some weight but it doesn't matter I don't care about the weight." Isn't that conflicts?? I like you but I don't like you. What a crap!?!

Learn what they said and watch out for that. I remember my ex said that I do miss YOU but I don't miss that other side of small part of YOU. Well, the small part is still part of me so you are going to have to accept that, if not, then I'm wasting my @#$@ time being with my ex. Doesn't matter what part of me that you don't like, you are going to have to accept that because it is who I am the whole part is who I am and if you can't accept the part of me whatever it is then I'm leaving.

Oh yeah, I did apply 2 different for single websites. One is for hearing and other is for deaf website, since I haven't find my match for the deaf (even though I prefer have a deaf partner.) I thought I would give a try to date hearing (I never date one so I have absoulute no idea about how to date a hearing guy but I am going through learning of trials and errors. I made sure that I inform that I am deaf but I have the ability to read lips and speak. When the hearing guy first thing email me said "I'll take care of you!" GEEZ do I look like a dog that needed to be taken care of? HECK! I can take care of myself! I don't need anybody to take care of me. Men are so.... weirdo! Well, not all men, I know that. I find that so ridiculous.

Here's another hearing guy, "If you really want me then you must lose weight." HA! In your dream, I will never want you weather or not I lost weight. I remember one guy who interesting in my friend who is very healthy and thin girl but not me. I was sitting in the group and someone did asked him suppose if she gain weight what would you do? He said I will leave her. Uh-oh was come in my mind. I would not recommend date that guy weather or not you are healthy.

I don't know if I mention this before or not but excuse me if I repeated, there are about 70 to 75 percent Narcissistic Personality Disorder of men. Those of what I just wrote are perfect example of possiblity have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. (Well, we know for sure that my ex does have that). It's really really sad. NPD tends to twist things around. *sigh* That's explain why it is so diffcult to find a good man who raised by a good parents.

One of my family member (actually more than one), has kids and I knew that one day one or more will have the same NPD when they grow up because of NPD parent. *sigh* The whole world is fucked up. Send love and hope for the best.

Quote of the day: "The cure for all ills and wrongs, the cares, the sorrows and the crimes of humanity, all lie in the one word 'love.' It is the divine vitality that everywhere produces and restores life."~ Lydia Maria Child

It's Monday!

That's when everybody goes back to work except for people who doesn't have job (like me) or off on Monday. I spotted a bumper sticker of a website of certain company. As I check that out, I notice most highest percent of need are 3rd shift work. Well, since I’ve been up late at night, might as well go ahead and apply for that. Huh?

Mmmm, I wonder what is better way to get my foot at the door to get the job.

Off subject:

My parents are doing good and my Reese is sweet as ever. My mom’s cat is rascal, which is his usual. I’m doing good, too. I admit that I am a little bit bored but I manage to keep thing cleaning and organize around my bedrooms. I still have few more boxes in the garage. I hope by this Fall when it is cooler, I will be able to get more boxes and start to clean things out of what I don’t need. Taking those boxes everywhere and don’t know what’s in it. Haha. Well, moving so much, you just learn not to unpack everything and knowing that there is a chance to move again. Once we moved, we just take those boxes with us. LOL. I know it’s funny and never done anything with it and doesn’t know what’s in it, either. I think it is best for me to throw away and not look in it. But there is a chance that I might want to sell those for the other people might like to have or need them more than I do.

Oh lucky for me, the new show of Stargate did came on couple weeks ago and I’ve been watching 2 Friday nights of new episodes. I’m glad that it’s start early. Something to watch this summer because there isn’t anything else to watch unless a good movie comes on.

Speaking of movies, I did watch broken trail, it’s about Chinese women who being shipped from China to America as prostitution in 1800’s. Now that’s a good and interesting movie. I didn’t know about that part. Also, I’ve been watch some good Hallmark movies, too. Here’s another good movie called “The Staircase” a mysterious young man show up to help build the stairs since the small church forgotten the stairs. It’s good one! And based true story happen in New Mexico. That’s all I can think of.

Well, there’s a talk of possible not going to Gregoria, again. Can ya believe that? My parents always keep changing their minds. Or isn’t really my dad? I dunno. But I do know, like I said last time, wait and see if this really going to happen. One of my pet peeves (usually from my dad), we waited a last minutes to go. We do not have time to pack of what we needed, we just packed and go.

Oh yeah, other pet peeves of mine was dad said the airport is 8:30am but really it’s 7:30am. We were LATE but LAST ones to get in the plane. Geez, can ya believe that? I remember I was at the security line, and security kept telling me don’t do this, don’t touch this and that. Well, geez what am I suppose to do? Just stand there? So, I stood there and wait for command. The security guy come up to me and ask me which one is your suitcase (a small one)? I pointed. He picked it up and takes it with him. He use his head to gesture me to follow him. I already told him that I’m deaf but able to lip-read pretty good. There are so many people bumping around and hurry to leave. I just wait calmly and sit in the chair as other security woman come up to me to test to see if I have any metal or bomb around me. Meanwhile the security guy uses the cloth to rub around inside the suitcase. There’s a chemical in my suitcase. The security said that it is usually if you spill perfume or shampoo in there. Since the bomb is usually from the chemical. I remembered that I did spill shampoo in there and I thought I clean that up good. So, he has to unpack my stuff out of the suitcase. I admit it is soooo embarrassing all my personal things are in there. However, I manage to keep my cool (knowing that we are late for the plane, too). That security guy is taking ALL his time to unpack my stuff out of the suitcase one by one. He kept saying that he’s sorry that he had to do this. I told him, “Don’t worry about it, just take all the time you need. I can wait.”

He seemed to be a little bit surprised, “You do understand why I’m doing this, don’t you?”

I was puzzle by that OF COURSE I do understand that is his job and a job to protect our country, “Yeah, I do.” I looked at the time; it is right on the nose of 8:30am. Well, I reminded myself that it isn’t my fault nor the security guy. I know it’s my dad’s fault because he kept doing that all the time one hour late. He does not able to get the right time. Anyway, he tried to pack my stuff SLOWLY but he didn’t get it right.

I asked him, “May I pack my stuff?” He said, “Oh sure!” Gratefully, I packed the way I know where it should be as I always did to make my stuff FIT in the small suitcase.

I make sure, “Am I able to go?”

He said, “Yes and thank you. Hope that you have a good trip.”

Boy! Was I glad that part is over? “Yeah, Thanks!” My parents and I took off quickly as possible and get in the plane. Well, I’m glad that was quick and not sitting around a long time for the plane. We don’t have to take turns and waiting in the line, either. I admit that it is kind of nice but it’s a risk the possibility of missing a plane.

Hope that ya enjoy my story.

Quote of the day: "Where there is love there is life." Mahatma Gandhi

Coyotes

As I read the newspaper, coyotes can be extremely aggressive toward dogs, cats and other domestic animals. Unfortunately coyotes had been killed small children. So keep ur pets from dark to dawn inside the house.

It happened in my neighborhood, there is a couple who lost their dog to coyote. I didn't know that there is coyote on the lose in my area. My mom or I always let the cat outside at night. It is his favorite thing to do go out at night. Now, since we find out in the newspaper to warn us. We decided not to let the cat go out at night, anymore. Just the daytime if it is not too hot.

My mom's cat Tom-Tom kept meowing and walking to the door. My mom's respond, "I know you want to go outside."

He respond, "meow."

She said, "I know you do but you can't go."

He walked back and fro to the door, "meow."

She calmly said, "No."

Tom-tom wasn't happy, "RRReow"

She firmly respond, "No."

He pout, "GRRReeow!"

Mom said again, "No, Tom-tom, you can't go outside." He hissed while arched his back at my mom and took off to his favorite sleeping spot in the house.

He's such a character! Of course, he's not always sweet and lovable cat. He wants to go his way or no way. Haha! He doesn't like to change the rotinue. He rather stay the same rotinue. Tom-Tom isn't adoptable cat unlike my first cat, Tom. We named first cat Tom and second cat Tom-Tom since both are orange tabby cats. I thought about name 2nd cat junior but I changed my mind so I go with Tom-Tom.

Something New.

Well, I guess there is something new that I would like to mentiona about.

*grin* Last night, I went into the bathroom to get ready to go to bed. Suddenly I saw a spider. Well, it is big but not so large. Maybe size of quarter, it's brown and not fuzzy type. Some what black in the back, I'm not sure but I'm guessing possible of brown recluse? Well, I've been watching on tv about it. That spider only active at night and likes to hide. They do not show themselves. They rarely harm any people but it happen to bite people in bed. Some lose their leg or foot because of that 8 legged creature. However, some manage to not lose leg or foot. Still, I hate the idea of a spider climb in bed and bite me. Knowing same time those spiders are benifit for us because they eat bugs and especially the blood-sucker bugs. I decided to kill that spider. Strange, first time I felt guilty for killing that brown recluse. I mean I kill bugs many times but not butterflies, dragonflies, and moths. First time I felt that I should have get that spider in the jar and put the spider outside.

Now, that's werid.

No Title # 2

Well, the weather here is hot but not toooo HOT. It's about 90 degree. It's better than over 100 degree for past a week or so. I was able to swim, today. The water is a little warm but lucky we just add the water so that helps to cool it down a bit.

Reese seem feeling better. Mom said that reason why she seems merserable is called "Dog's Day". When the weather is hot, they don't do much. It is usually on very hot weather. No wonder. Now she very playful mood since it is not so hot outside.

Well, Sunday is coming around and after that it will be Monday. I wonder if I ever going to recieve any respond from the company(ies)? If not, I may go ahead and contact to my VR. ( I'm not going to spell that out.) From what I understand that VR will pay for someone to search job for me. I sure hope that would work. However, it doesn't mean I just sit here and do nothing. It is best for me to continue to go and look.

I wonder, if I find job here, do I want to stay here?? Be honest, I don't. I really do not like Texas that much. I'm tempting to put on hold again and not look for a job until I move again. However, would that reduce my chance to find job if I waited too long??

What else is new?

Well, it seem like there is possibility that we are going to visit Gergoria. I dunno, I'm going to wait and see, first. If we are going then we are going, if not then ... we're not going. I wonder what else is new about this mind-changing every time.

Since it is possible there is nothing new around here, chances that I may reduce my time to do the blogging unless something comes up. I may spend more time on other things for a while.

Take Care of yourself and most important to know who you are.

Here's the good quote: "They will find what is unique about you and they will destroy you for it." ~Jon Stewart~

Fantasy

Reading a book or watching tv shows. We do have fantasy and dreams. Without those, is like without a soul walking on Earth. Fantasy, dreaming and daydreaming help us to keep ourselves alive to continue to have hope. That's what I think.

What's your most secert dreams? What kind of desires to hope to accomplish? What kind of fantasy do you have? It doesn't have to be sexual desire or share something that is too personal.

When I watch tv of animal planet, I saw some people create a sanctary for animals. There is one in Florida (I think) for horses. When horses are no longer in races or time to retire, they have no place to put them so they put them to sleep. Instead, there is a older couple created sanctary for horses. So, they have places to stay and run free.

I watch another animal farm, I think here in Texas is that for more of exoctic animals such as elephants and tigers and etc. It is usually called "mad elephants". People label them mad elephants even they are being raised by humans and trained them to be a good creature. Little did they realize, some baby elephants had witness their mothers had killed. They are very intellent creatures. Something brought flashback memory for the adult elephant by realize that he/she lost their mother. We still don't know what provoking them. Maybe a smell, sound, or sight might have cause them to change to become mad elephants.

What's really sad part is that, people who killed elephants for the Irvory Tusks and abandoning the baby elephants. They manage to live either with other group or alone. Now, they do not have mothers to teach what's proper behavior and etc. They did a lot of unusual and unpredectable behavior. So, we misinterpret them as mad elephants.

It is nice to see that some people who are open-minded and study animal psychology to gain to understand what's affecting them as to compare ourselves. That's my idea. It is a theory but I think it is excellent theory of today's socity of parents who doesn't teach children's behavior of what's right and wrong. But it happens from generation to generation, weather or not it happen but help us to understand ourselves of what's happening to us.

Unless, someone pointed out that it had already been research. I dunno. Maybe I can find out?

Anyway, the whole point I was talking about fantasy and dreams. I like the idea of created a sanctary for animals in my home with large several acres. Same time, I know it is not easy to do because of responibility, money, foods and etc. It is a commitment and know what kind of animals. It is best to understand them before I can let them be in my homeland. The main question.... would I be able to handle that? Or would there be any volunteers who would be willing?

Obvious, I'm animal lovers. *grin*

Don't lose your nerves

That's what my mom said. Don't lose your nerves.

I did contact several companies for relate to my education. All had same respond, "I didn't recieve your resume." Well, Geez! That's what they said 4 weeks ago and I called again second around and mention that they didn't recieve it and I send them again. Until I called and asked if they recieved them and yet they didn't.

I did asked them to send me an email when they recieved my resume and I have not recieved one email from any of them (and that's including my friend's job).

Doesn't that seem annoying? My mom said that don't lose your nerves. Remember, your friend, Jennifer took her couple years or so to find job.

I looked at my mom like "Don't remind me" I do not want to wait that long. My mom said that there is a young man at the grocery store did talk about trying to find job relate to his field and express how much frustrated to find it. *sigh*

I spoke to the guy about searching for the job, he said that after 9/11 people reducing their hiring. I wish that 9/11 never happened. Why didn't FBI do their jobs as they are suppose to do to protect the country. What about the president? I don't care who is who is fault and etc or who provoking it. Protecting is very important. I can't help but wonder what if more people from other country (or countries) will do anything just to destory America.

Talk about freedom and dreams here in America doesn't seem like that anymore.

Well, what can I say? Life goes on. I just do my best as I can and go on.

**I'm dreaming of the white Christmas,

just like the one I used to know.**

I'm Nobody! Who are You?

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us -don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

Written by Emily Dickinson.

Did you remember that you were taught in English class about Emily Dickinson? I thought that was most interesting poem that I've read when the English teacher told us our assignment to read it tonight for discussion tomorrow. It is just not one poem but several from Emily Dickinson.

I like it the way she writes. I guess maybe because it is different.

OT: (Just in case, OT means Off Topic)
Well, things are going alright around here. It just that it's soo hot! 110 to 10 for several days. According to my mom said that the A/C is on 76 but it would not go to cool it down. I asked my mom "why? is it so warm in the house?"

Mom told me that it is 81 degree in the house and it would not go any cooler even it is on 76 and A/C keeps on running. Geez!! I can't believe that. I just want to keep things cooler around here. We hardly do anything. I admit that I'm getting bored. Reese is just moping around. She doesn't do much either but wants my attention. Just imagine that border collie knows as high energy and she doesn't want to play. She gets real hot easy.

My mom's cat, Tom-Tom, he also gets bored. He wants to go outside and he doesn't want to go because it is hot. Either that, he will come outside for short time then comes in for long time then go back and forth.

The weather here is awful. When, Reese gets stink then I have to give her a bath. I wated until after 8:30pm so I can give her a bath outside without being in the hot sun. She get thrill of being wet even though she doesn't like to take a bath. After I finish giving her a bath, she's ready to play.

When it is late at night, I thought maybe it would be a little bit cooler but it is not. It feels like about 90 degree. My mom thinks maybe it's 76 degree outside. She decided to check the weather on the weather channel. I was right... Well, one point different, it is 89 degree outside at night. *urgh* I'm willing to go back to South Carolina or North Carolina in the mountians where it is not so hot. There is part of me not motivating to search for job here because of hot weather.

Oh, I almost forgot. I'm not going to Gergoria this August. My parents and I were discussing about several different things and decided not to go to Gergoria and postpone that for next year. Seem like I'm not going to stay Gergoria. FYI: I haven't discuss my parents about my plan to stay Gergoria. There are several things that my parents have to do. As for me, there are several things that I have to do, too.

So, right now, I'm still in job hunting. I didn't realize searching for a job can be tedious. I'm considering to try to do soemthing about it. I even thought about taking my dog to school for training and therapy dog. Maybe apply one? I won't be surprised that I might have to pay for it. I'm going to wait and see about that. There's a lot of option. One thing I do know is that I do feel like I wanna get outta here.

Right now, I feel like there is a spur of moment of wanna to do SOMETHING!

Well, it's getting late. I better get going and go to bed. I have a long day tomorrow. Thanks for taking time to read this and hopefully a feedback or suggestion from the strangers and friends.
Cheer!

True or False?

Once upon a time, I was this young girl who dream of finishing college. Meanwhile, I live in a single room by myself. I was thrilled that I do not have to deal with roommates. Only thing that I have to deal with are suitemates and sharing bathrooms. I'm so glad that I have a door to close whatever I feel like. There is another door for exit and a small hallway where we could put our refrige out of our bedrooms. So we could have extra space in our bedrooms. There are 2 disablity girls one has wheelchair and other has CP (sorry, dunno how to spell). I admit that one of my pet peeve is they do take forever in the bathroom. So I made a habit to take a shower every night.

When the final exams coming around soon during December, I study real hard and went to bed early. I made sure that I have at least 9 hours worth of sleep. I gave myself an hour extra just in case I was restless (in total worth of rest would be 10 hours). I repeating myself that I did my best as I can and try to get some sleep. Plus, I gave myself couple hours worth of excerise since I know it will wear me out enough for me able to sleep. It didn't take that long. I fast asleep. It was around 3am in the morning someone at my door. Part of me wish my first door have peephole but doesn't. I opened the first door, I spotted a cute young guy standing at the 2nd doorway while one of my suitemate had already answer the door. I didn't like that one bit at all because I do not know this guy. I would not answer that door if I do not know who he is especially at 3 o'clock in the morning during final exams. There were a rule of not interfere of other people's study unless there is an emerengecy.

There is something else that I wasn't happy about it is that I wear white long t-shirt to the knee; however, it is very thin. It can see thru my naked body and I have nothing underneath!!

I went behind my own door and asked, "what?"

He said "There is a guy waiting out there and wants to talk to you." I was puzzle. Maybe this guy knows me and can't get in because he lives in different dorm. There was special hours of limited to visit different dorms. I asked, "Where do you live?" I don't know why I asked that wrong question since I was half asleep and my brain wasn't working right. I did slept hard so it give me time to get my brain working.

He was puzzled by my question but answered anyway, "I live in ______." (instert the name of dorm).

Finally, I was able to ask the right question, "Who is he waiting for me?"

He replied, "I don't know, he has short and dark brown hair and wear glasses." Well, I do know my guy friend who was wearing glasses but he doesn't have brown hair but since it is dark outside at cold night. My first thought is that I can see who is he through the window if I know who he is. I was very sleepy. I told him, "okay, let me get dressed with shoes on and I'll go and checked."

He seemed to be very exciting, "Then go downstairs to the basement and go outside then around the back of the building to meet him there."

I was shocked to hear him saying that and that's even bothers me more. I can't believe that my suitemate didn't even closed that *&%@ door!! She just stand there grinning like an idot! *Urgh* I kept my cool, "Huh? Say that again?" I decided to walk closer to him. Even though I do not like it. I started to wish I grab my robe but it is not nearby.

He explained again, "First come out that door then go downstair to the basement....."

I kept nodding as I walking up. Softly putting my hand on the door then slamed right at his face. I think I hurt his foot. I looked at my suitemate and was very unhappy, "Why did you answered??" She said that she doesn't know why and that she wasn't thinking straight. *Arghh* I asked her if she knows him? She said "no."

I can't help but saying this, "Did your mama teach you not to talk to stranger especially at 3 o'clock in the morning??" She kept saying that she doesn't know why.

I wasn't happy about that situation espeically when final exam coming around and I tried to get a long good night sleep so I can get up feeling refresh and study some more. Lucky, my final wasn't come until 1pm but still I want to continue with same rotinue without any interprut. I asked her if she's willing to come with me to go to Campus Sercurity. She whined, "Now?"

I replied, "I think it might be wise thing to do."

We went to the dorm office but it is closed and left the sign for oevernight emergency to contact a room number. We went up to use the doorbell and she answered. I explained what happened and would like to go to report security. She said, "Go down the basement and go out the door to go to Security building. *ARGH* Didn't I just explain where did I suppose to meet a stranger outside of the basement?

Calmly as best as I could, "I said, I suppose to meet a stranger outside of the basement and don't expect me to go out and go to security building!"

She seem fraustrated, "What am I suppose to do?" She is RA and it is her job to know what she's suppose to do! Do you think that I know? Instead, I continue to be calm as best as I can, "Don't you think you're suppose to go down and contact security to have us escort to the sercurity building?" She seemed like doesn't want to do that. It's her job and she's getting paid for putting up with craps so live with it or quit the *&@ job.

She went ahead and went down to the office. She contacted the sercurity. We waited for a little while until the security guy come up and took us there. We took our time to explain every situtation as best we can. Unfortuntatly that guy haven't got caught. *sigh* I wish they did let me look at every person in the picture who live that certain named of the dorm that he mention to me. However, they didn't let me. I know that their security is sucks!

Two Wolves- A poem

Two Wolves
A wise Grandfather from the Cherokee First-People's Nation, whose grandson came to him with anger at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice, said "Let me tell you a story.

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way."

"But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which wolf wins Grandfather?" The Grandfather solemnly said "The one I feed."(author unknown)

So, which one did you feed?? That's depend on entirely on you and your choice of which one that you feed the most.

I like that poem and I agree with that.

No Title tonight

So, how things going?

As I was typing, Reese is asleep. I can hear her aof, aof sound and it is not woof or bark sound. Her lips look like what you see on cartoons... Hard to explain than I thought. Her legs moved. I do mean all 4 legs and her eyes moved, too. I know that she has REM and she is dreaming something. Maybe chasing lizard that she tries to chase for few months, now. So cute!

Oh good news! I've lost one size down! Whoa-hoo! Finally! I feel like it takes forever. LOL. I just need to be patience and patience. I've been swimming lately plus once in a while walk my dog when the weather is nice. Most of the time, Reese would run around the pool while I'm swimming. Knowing she get hot real easy and sometimes she refuse to go inside no matter how hot she is. She refuse to get in the pool. So I usually wet her with the hose. She didn't like it but she gets real exciting afterward. She knows the water will cool her down. She plays, again.

It's nice to have swimming pool in the backyard. It helps to keep me cool and that I can play with her during hot summer, too.

Oh another good news! I've got tanned. Some people find it hard to believe that I got some tanned espeacially having adburn hair. I guess I got some Indian blood. Hee Hee. It's so nice of not having too white skin and sometimes I look so pale.

Thanks to the sun! And knowing I would get some Vitamin D. I hope that I can be a little bit careful of not getting too tanned because I do not like rough skin. I like to take care of myself and my body. It's nice that way when I watch my eating habit and excerise. I'm taking one step at a time in healthy way, not try to lose weight too fast or chances that it will gain double of what you previous weight. I'm glad that I'm taking my time to watch and learn other people of how they lose weight and gain back. Try to lose weight is a lifetime commitment, we can't just lose weight and then go back the old habit. It is best to continue and depend on invidual people who can do what they can. I quit cold-turkey in certian food or drink types one at a time. Such as stop drinking soda and that is including diet soda. Later, I stop eating sugar and replace sugar-free once in a while. I increase my eating fiber, veggies, and fruit from time to time. I stop eating potato chips. (it is kinda diffcult to quit potato chips than soda.) I admit I got sidetrack on potato chips but I quit again and hopefully it will be longer this time. I've cut down salts and using herbs more.

It's great! I hope that I would be able to continue that way. I'm looking forward to that. Now, next step might be hard to do. I remember when my friend who has diabetic and she has to eat smaller poition food. I might need to do that by try to budget with my amount of eating such as if you are full then don't continue to eat until you feel like popping and eat when you are hungry. So I'm going to try that out to see how that going for my next step. We'll see.

One thing I didn't know about this part, lifetime commitment as I said earlier, I've realize that now. I'm glad that I know. I also know that it is not that easy but it is going to be worth it. What really important is that take one step at a time and be patience. The good things will happen. When the bad things happen, learn from them, they are the reasons to give us growth and mature. Don't reject the bad things, embrace them. I know it sound silly but it's true use those bad things and turn into positive so the bad things doesn't seem that bad. Use them and learn from them so it would not happen again. Also teach others and hope it would be easier on them who are going through that similar experience that they are not alone.

Do your best as humanly possible to take care of yourself.

Spotted Narissistic

I was watching "Honey, We're killing our kids." I saw 2 young girls and parents are overweight. As I was watching, there is a younger sister who is very shy and having hard time interact with other people. So, the woman encourage her to involve dance class after school so she would be able to learn how to have social life and help her to become healthy.

I saw a father who refuse to leave his youngest daughter. He is the only father who stay and watch at the dance class. Now I can see why the youngest daughter always feel so intimated by him. He's controling her and watch her every moves she makes. That's how I able to spotted him of being controling her.

Here is another example of having Narissistic parent (or both), I did watch this movie a couple times but it never crossed my mind until I watch again after I already had the experience of having Narissistic X. You might have already watch or heard this, Ever After: A Cinderella Story. Where Danielle who tries so hard to please her stepmother just by earn her love which she will never gives the love to her. There are Narissistic parent who is just like the stepmother and what's worst, at least one child (or both) will become Narissistic just like the parent such as one stepsister is like her stepmother. While the youngest stepsister is not Narissistic, so that's how I started to notice more and more.

My first boyfriend, X-Fiancé who has stepfather who treated him the same way as he was being treated from. He tries so hard to please him to earn his love. Everything he does never able to do right under his stepfather's eyes. That's why he tends to overeating. He still not able to accept and move on. He still desprately need someone to love him and to be accepted. He will never have that for rest of his life until he finally accept and leave him, forever. Which it is impossible to do, every child deserves and needs to be loved. So, that's why they kept on try to please their parent(s).

Wow! I can see more and more on tv although we might not realize what are those. It is common. I am able to started to see everywhere, there are people at work, stores, park and even in my family. It's so amazing. It's like an eye-opener for me.

I'm going to Gergoria very soon. Now, since I've learn about Narissitic, there are certain family members that I do not look foward to see. Especially one of them is the A type, Aggression as I mention earlier.

May God protect and guide children who has abusive parent (or stepparent).

Sun Rising

The shy sun is trying to come out behind the trees. I think sunset is pretter.

Anyway, how things going? Things are going okay. I think I'm doing better now since I've been getting rid of all the negative energy from my ex-N who inflence a lot on me. Sometimes it take a while to de-program myself.

Speak of de-program, there are still some christian music stuck in my head. I've already get rid of most christian music. I couldn't believe I wasted on those. I've still kept a few. I'm hoping to get rid of them soon. I know, the sooner, the better and that I need to de-program of what I was taught.

I still remember a lot of bible stories. One I did remember when Saul met Jesus on the road. It took him (I think) 15 years of de-programming of what he was taught when he was raised in. It seem like I have similar position. I hope that by 15 years I would be able to finished de-programed myself. It is going to be a long process road for me. One step at a time. One step at a time.

One thing that is funny, I could become an atheist if I don't have spiritual experiences. However, I do have the spiritual experiences. That's what made me continue to believe that spirituals are real. Guardian angels, souls, and many more for those who tires to explain. (Ghosts are question marks??? I'm still skeptical about ghosts. I will believe it when I see one.)

I better wrap things up.
Quote of the day, ""Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." ~Mark Twain~

Cute Reese

Here's Reese! The picture is on the left. Isn't she cutie? She's so sweet and lovable. I finally took a picture of her holding her favorite bone that she loves to naw on.

She always carry with her. Everywhere she goes and right with her. One time, my parents and I were planning to go to vaction and decided to take her with us. When she see us packing, she grab the bone and put next to the car. Afterward, she took the ball with her.

Isn't she incredible? She's really smart-y girl!

Oh, when I was swimming at the pool of my parent's backyard, my mom said, "Did you know that Reese notice that I've been under the water a little bit too long she had her head up looking for me to see if I'm okay."

She has been keeping an eye on me. She's my protective girl!

I love her!

Here's another picture of Reese laying down and looking at me. It's a little bit blur but that is more cute! Oh, most pictures are from the tmoblie. They're not that great pictures but it makes memorable.

compulsive in drinking, spending and etc

***copy and Paste***Silent Withdrawal from Your Relationship Partners
As a result of getting hooked in your relationships and having no boundaries in them, you might experience silent withdrawal. This withdrawal involves not allowing yourself to feel feelings of anger or disappointment because things are not going well in your relationships. You might even be driven to use your compulsive behaviors to medicate your negative feelings. You might become more compulsive in your drinking, drugging, gambling, overeating or other addictive behaviors (eg.: shopping, credit car use, risk taking etc.). This act of holding in your anger, about your relationships not giving you what you wanted, just exacerbates your anger. Your keeping silent to maintain a "Peace at any price" stance to avoid conflict with your relationship partners just makes your anger greater and more intense. If you continue to hold your anger in, you will became more and more depressed which feeds the need to self-medicate and withdraw more from your relationship partners. By this action you may also pull away from family, friends, support networks and life in general. You need to get your anger out about how hurt you are that your relationships are not what you wanted. You need to get your anger out about how you have given and given in this relationship until you have no more to give. You need to get your anger out about how you have lost yourself in your relationships because you have no boundaries between you and your relationship partners. If you verbalize your anger in healthy ways you will become a better problem solver in relationships. This will help you and your relationship partners to creatively address and confront the issues pulling your relationships apart. ***End of copy and paste** Respectfully from that website.

Now that's interesting... I didn't realize that. I notice that many people are addictive of drinking, smoking, gambling, and spending the stuff because of refusing to face the problem or not able to say no. I remember that my mom mention that when my dad smoked often it means something bothering him. Sometime my mom able to get him confess but most the time he doesn't want to face it. So, when he refuse to face the problems, he smoke to release his stressful moment. It is usually from my dad's work that he has a problem from.

Anyway, there is a lot of info in that website, I think it is worth to take a look.

Ever experience this?

My friends and strangers,

Did you ever experince ths?

Person 1: When a friend kept talking, talking, talking and seem never shut up. Finally, once you and your friend in a separte driection, did you ever feel so exhuasted? Feel like your emotional drain you out?

Person 2: An opposite sex approach to you and s/he seems very friendly but seem like want to talk to you too much. However, you want to exuse yourself so you can talk with other people and not stuck with one person especially when you are trying to reach out to make more friends in a new place that you visit (such as church, party, and etc.). When you finally got away from h/her, trying to reach out talking to someone suddenly that same person that you spoke to while ago comes up to you again in like 5 or 10 minutes later. That person seem kinda annoying.

Person 3: did that person almost succeed to ruin your other friendship? Like that person did a backstabbing and make a rumor about you to your friendship. Your friendship and you almost hated each other. Once discover, it is really that person tries to ruin all along.

Or is it same with relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend or a married couple. Did someone ever almost ruined your relationship??

Did that person tend to forget what s/he was doing? Or didn't remember what s/he was doing?

Person 4: Did you ever met or see someone who almost impossible to see that person smile? Did you ever see that person seem like mad or straight lip (no frown, no smile, nothing just straight face) 24/7?? Tend to get upset for no reason or blame on someone? Did you ever see someone like grumpy old man but in a young man?

Person 5: Ever met someone who doesn't want to take responsibilty? Someone who tries to take advantage of your money or your pity? Ever met know someone who manpluate, lied or beating around the bush until that person get what s/he wants?

Could be at work, school, relatives, and/or strangers... It could be anybody that you know of. Ever have that kind of experience?

No vaction

My friends and strangers,

There are going to be nothing but rain, rain, and rain here this week. We can't go to the beach because of the rain. Oh well!

Well, we do need a rain, anyway. Around here are so dry and I can see the green turn to brown lately. It is a good thing that we have the rain. It just would be nice if it would show up next week, not this week. We have vaction this week. I guess we are going to use our vaction to clean up the house. *sigh* I admit I am kinda bored, already. I'm ready to get out of here.

I can't wait until we go to Gergoria!! Wish me luck!

Happy Birthday, America!!

Happy 230th Birthday to America!

May God bless America!

TV shows

I was just watching Bridezilla. I couldn't believe what I'm seeing those Bride women who going to be a wife soon, all stress out to put everything perfection! All I see was argue, stress, and upset. WOW! I never thought of trying to prepare a wedding can be so stressful moments. I can't help but notice they don't really have wedding coordinator. She wants a huge wedding. One woman have 7 bridemaids and 7 groommen. Other one has 14 bridemaids and groommen. I was thinking, don't you need a wedding coordinator? She was very bossy and controling. They don't like the way she's doing. One brother said why should I let my sister tell me what to do? She said it's my wedding not yours so move it mister. Well, not in exact words ... more of paraphasing. I think it is best to have wedding coordinator to do all the works and let that person to be boss around instead of bride-to-be. After all, it is best to have somebody who is more neutral and able to tolerdance around the wedding coordinator than put up with bride-to-be. How would you feel if your brother or sister telling what to do even it is the wedding but still tell you what to do?? Annoying isn't it? I think so. There's one couple almost didn't get married because the bride-to-be got all stress out and she feel like that her future husband doesn't helping her. She said something that wasn't really nice, "Are you really that worth for all of this?" It was like, wow! She even kick out one of her bridemaid out the wedding and replace another one. LOL! What worst is that it is only two days before wedding. She managed to find a replacement. Every bride-to-be kept saying, It's my wedding and I want to get what I want and if not then you out! Every bride doesn't seem satified with the growns, viel, gloves, jewlery, and etc. They have to check every details. If no tag then I'm not paying for it. Or I paid for this and I expect to get it now! Don't touch me! Blah blah blah. LOL

I couldn't imagine about large wedding like that. I rather simple one. Maybe I'll just get one Maid of honor.... Or not. *grin* I wonder if I'm going to become like the bridezilla? LOL! Maybe it would be better just to enlope in Las Vagas? *grin*


Well, here's come the most funny one, "Honey, we're killing our kids." I couldn't believe that the moms who go to store with the lists of veggies and fruit that she never heard of. In fact, she never heard of carrot. I was like, WHAT?!! I couldn't believe that. I laughed so hard because those really don't know veggie and fruit. They never heard of those before. One woman grab the wrong veggie or the wrong fruit. Like this one said, "Sorry mom, that's not spinach, that's Payapas." That's a wow. They have really eat so much junk food and soda. All those fast foods and pizza everyday. Oh boy! I know I would get tried of it.

I love veggies and fruits!! I enjoy eating turnip greens, collard greens, spinach, carrot, onion, radish, squash, and etc. My favorite all times are Apple, banana, honeydew melon, watermelon, strawberries, blueberries, grapes and many many more. Yummy!!

It just that it's hard to picture that there are people who doesn't know those veggies names and never had those or at least try those. It just that it does amaze me.

Slide down

When I come home from God know's where. LOL.

My dog, Reese was so exiciting to see me. As I walk toward to my bedroom, there is a long hallway. Even though, I already told her "hello" and gave her a hug. Reese still exiciting as she ran pass me. She ran toward to the end of the bedroom and ran back. Lucky, I wouldn't see her coming if I didn't turn the light on. When I saw Reese ran toward me, I knew she'll pounce on me. I stick my hand out "Argh!" in a serious tone of voice. It is almost way of saying "NO!!" She bend down and slide like a baseball guy slide to the first base. Lucky she didn't knock me down like the bowling pins.

I was kinda surprised that she has the ability to slide on the carpet floor. Her paws seem fine.

To type or not to type

I'm consider not to write a novel or a book. Why?

Well, after watching the Squid and the Whale, it is independence film. **snip copy/paste** Based on the true childhood experiences of Noah Baumbach and his brother, The Squid and the Whale tells the touching story of two young boys dealing with their parents divorce in Brooklyn in the 1980's.***End of copy/paste**

Well, that said it all. I only watch the first half and it's boring!!! I was about to fell asleep there. It is because of all talk, talk, talk. Brother pass information to Father and other brother pass information to Mother. Who is sleeping with who and all those backstabbing. I've realize that my book is all based on talk, talk, talk and rarely have action unless you want the abuse action. But still it seems boring to me... When it seem boring then the chance of writing a book would not be enjoyment for me. So, I may not write after all.

I like action! So my plan to write wouldn't be an action... it's would be almost similar as the movie but in different way. So that's why I changed my mind not to write.

Quote of the day: People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,but when the darkness sets in,their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. ~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross~