Almost...

I almost recieve the speeding ticket, tonight. Haha... I couldn't believe it. As I am on my way back home from work at night, I usually drive the backroad and rarely use the busy roads. I assume that there isn't any police cars since it is always so quiet and it's night time. I've been speeding quite often, too. Well, don't ever assume as I almost got home the light flashes and I realize the police car was right behind me. I was like Uh-Oh! Oh no! That can't be true! Ah Man! I calm myself down and pullover. The light flash real bright from the car light as I make sure both of my hands are on a steelwheel. The man came up with the lightlash was shines in the car. I clicked the button to window open automatic. The policeman said something and I can't understand him. I quickly said, "Umm I'm deaf and I need to readlips." since he had flashlight in my face. Well, not directly in my eyes...He put the flashlight over his face where I can lipread, "May I see your driver liencense(sp?) and your resigtatar(sp?), please?" I nodded, "I'm going to to my purse." I slowly took the purse and my wallet out of my purse then took the driver liencese(sp) out and gave it to him. I looked at him, "And it's in the glove dept." it's about my resister that is in the glove dept. I kept almost every sentence short-cut talk. He nodded. I reach over and grab the paperwork then gave it to him. He compared for a little while. He looked at me with his lightflash over his face, "Is there any perticluar(sp?) reason why are you going 44 mph on 30 mph speed limit?" I'm still trying to stay calm, "Umm I just speed a little faster because I'm almost on my way home. It's just...." as I pointed my finger to the direction where I'm nearly home. I didn't add "around the concer(sp?)", like I said, I kept my sentence short as possible. He looked at my driver liences(sp?) again. Seem like he's double checked about my home address. Seem like he knows the area and looked at me, "I will let you go with the warning this time. Please drive within speed limit." I nodded and took driver liences(sp?) and restiatar(sp?) then left.... WHEW! That was a very close called! The whole time I'm just froze and I'm surprised that my hands didn't shake. I'm surpised that my voice didn't shake. Oh my goodness! I couldn't believe it! I got away with warning and no speed ticket. MAN! Knowing if I recieve the ticket then the insurance will increase. *sigh* Next time, I may not be lucky. I better make sure I remember to stay within speed limit even I'm very close to home.

Anyway, off the subject...

Well, at work, things are going the usual working. It's nothing new....until one person told me that "insert her name, got fired." I was open my mouth wide and same time I'm kinda glad to hear that. I had to know, "do you know how did she got fired?" That person doesn't know how. Man! I really would love to know how she got fired. I'm curious. Don't leave me in a hang but it doesn't matter. What really matter is that I do not have to see her anymore. I'm glad that I don't. I'm glad that I would not see her. All I know is that she may come as "custamor"(sp?) so I would see her once in a while but not so often. I remember other day she came in with her regular clothes. She seem like going to get her paycheck. She did gave me dirty looks. I just ingore her. Now, I know that she is only there to recieve her last paycheck. *grin*

Well, what's really important for me, is to keep on working and stay on working, no matter what. One of my team leader told me that I'm doing good job and keep on at it. So that's what I'm been doing. *sigh* I hope that would help me to make my resmue look good as I am searching for better pay with my goal of my future career.

Speaking of future career, I did mention that I still don't know what I want. One of the comment was left is recommend counsler. I haven't gone to counsler, yet. I'm hoping to get to see my VR counsler, soon. I think I will see him next month for appointment about my hearing aids. I have already recieve new hearing aids. It is more of check up. So, I would have a chance to get around to ask him about having personal counsler. That would be next month. So the future career is still in a hang right now. I am still stuggle that I don't know what I want. I remember I spoke to few people, they have changed career too many times. Personally, I don't want to change too many times. I rather at once and get over with it. Well, not exact get over with it but use it with rest of my life and be happy about it. I hope longer... I heard that some did change career in next 2o years and change again for another 10 years. It's something like that. I don't mind. I rather not change 5 career under 10 years that I know some people did. For me personally, not so dramatic change, ya know? I like the idea of 1 career for 10 years to 20 years then chance to another career for 10 years or so. Because people do change. We don't stuck on one thing at least in my opinion. As I mention before, I'm still stuck on "I don't know what I want! and find pointless!" Pppffftttttttttt.

Good Morning...

Yeah, I do have to work this morning. I'll be leaving in about 5-10 minutes.

I only slept about 3 hours. I'm so concern that I might overslept. I almost did once because I accidently click on PM instead of AM of clock alarm. I have to check few times to make sure it is AM and not PM even I woke up in next 30 minutes or so to check again. Geez. I dislike when I am so concern about the time for me to get up early in the morning. Well, look at the bright side, I get off the work at 2pm.

(By the way, my parents came in to say good morning so I have to put it on hold. Now it is night time. I'm going to bed soon after I mention this news first.)

Well, the update news about the young boy, he's fine. He got out of the hosptial yesterday. Geez, she waited until he got out of the hopsital and contact us. Well, according to my mom, the boy have to take his tyoid (something in the throat) have to take it out. He refuse to eat because of throat hurts too much and have to take him back to hosptial because he lost 11 pounds. Gave him IV and now he's fine. He's able to eat.

Also, my mom said that she talked to my uncle and mention that my cousin is upset with my parents for refusing paying the money. My mom said that isn't true. My mom did paid but that woman was asking for another 150 dollars and my parents can't (because they are helping me to pay some of my bills). My parents have already spoke to my cousin about not able to pay 150 and my cousin will sell his another car (they have at least 4 cars and only need 2). That woman told a lied to my cousin (which is her husband) by saying that my parents refuse to help and something else which is worst than you can imagine. My mom couldn't believe that he believed her words over my parents. Knowing that my parents will always help out but that woman is asking too much and plus she made up few more lying stories in the past. We don't know wheather or not she needs help. We rather hear from our cousin and not his wife. *sigh*

Well, my mom said that she's not going through that again anymore by being manpluate. She had been manpluate by her mother and that's enough. She's not going through this again. She told me that if I recieve any msg from her don't let her know anymore. Also, if somebody dies then don't let her know either. She doesn't want to be part of this anymore. She also said that I needed to get married and have kids so I wouldn't be alone. She said something like this, "you have no one to support you or help you when you get older. That's why I want to try to connect with those kids and help you to prevent of being alone and have a family."

I knew that is insecurity talk. My mom really had been feeding me the insecurity for long time. I'm glad that I realize few years agoe. I know my mom doesn't mean to do that. She doesn't realize what she is doing. She is very concern. My mom really don't want me to die alone or ended up in Elderly Folks Home where they really don't care. She doesn't want me to ended that way. She wants me to have kids so when kids grow older they will take care of me. Why should I have kids just to take care of me? They need to live their life. Beside, I rather live alone than live with pyscho man. I read couple quotes at the mall that said something like this, "it is better to live and loved than to live with someone who is pyscho." I agreed! There's another one which I absoultely agreed 100% "Never Underestatimate the power of sick mind" Which is VERY true!

Plus, I'm not interesting to have kids. So, if I do not want kids then it wouldn't be fair for the kids for they have not feel the wanted and needs for I will not provide to the kids. Well, maybe biological clock ticking one day but in meantime, I see pointless to have kids. I have my own pholisity(sp?) that kids don't come first. My parent's philophsy that kids come first. My mom even try to tell me to put my dog, Reese, first. Ha! I'll make sure that she has her needs such as take her to walk, feeding, love, medication, and etc but my needs will always come first. Oh believe it or not, my dog has allergies and sometimes I have to give her some kind of bendryal(sp?) from the over-the-counter medication. That's the vet's recommend and it works great on her. Thank goodness. Anyway, everybody have different opinions, point of view, and how they raise.

I wonder about something... is it being the "only child" affect that way? I mean does it affect me for not interesting to have children? I dunno. Maybe it is and maybe it isn't.

Even though my mom didn't mention but I can't help but wondering does she wishes to have another child? Just to give a benefit for me? That way we would have some kind of family with kids and I would be just "aunt"?

That reminds me ... I did asked my parents why they didn't adopt children? My parents said that it never cross their mind. I asked them, what about now? Since I can tell that my parents still want kids around because they kept asking me when are you going to make me grandbabies? They said that they are too old. Haha.

Letter from FSSA Lawyer to Jordan

Here's the website. Letter from FSSA Lawyer to Jordan

I'm so glad to see that. Like I mention before, my respect to Jordan went down to bottomless pit for what he had done to hurt some Deaf people.

My heart is still there for Gallaudet and Deaf people. My heart wants Jane to resign. Jane get out of Gallaudet! She doesn't belong there. I hope that she never put her foot on Gallaudet's soil for rest of her life. She is a person who doesn't have the soul.

*sigh*

I really want to go to Gallaudet University so badly. It's funny. Now I wished to be multi-millionare. ppppffftttt. Don't ever give up! We will continue to pray, to think, and to wait until Jane resign. Once she did, I know that we will be thrilling with joy and our heart will jump up and down but in meantime, we will not give up! Never Ever give up!

Unity Lives On! for the Gallaudet and Deaf community.

******************************************************************************
Well, beside what's happening at Gallaudet, at work are going good. Even though there is 3 of us at night, we managed to finished around 10:50pm. And no one working for Infants/Shoes dept, we (mostly me) did wrap up! Part of me am gald that I've been working at Infants/Shoes dept longer enough to know the area better. Even though there are many new clothes coming in and changing things around but I am able to find around quickly.

My family and our pets are doing okay. The house are finally settle in but still more to go. My mom is still trying to make up her mind. We still haven't set up for yardsale that we were planned to do that last spring. I am trying to find a way to decorate my bedroom and other bedroom. I haven't decided which curtain do I want for the window, yet. My mom and I already discussing about to find washable curtain because most curtain are not washable. Knowing my dog, Reese loves to look out the window, she already made a dirt on the thermal curtain (to block out the heat during summer and block out the cold during the winter). It's color white. I want to cover up and look nicely with colors. So, my mom suggestion wait in the spring. I'm not sure why.

Oh, there's a news in my family back in Gergoria, there is a young boy is in the hosptial. That woman who lied few times just to get the money before and she waited to tell the news 2 weeks later that the boy (which is my 2nd cousin but I do look at him as my nefhew(sp?)) is in the hostipal. She saying something like if you really do care to know call her husband for more details. GEEZ! She waited to tell us later and turn around on us like we didn't care. She talk some kind of like securtary to call back for details. My mom is really pissed off and called her bitch. We still don't know what's wrong with him since she didn't say. Since it is getting late, we will wait to call tomorrow. *sigh* I can't help but wonder why didn't my uncle didn't called and why didn't my cousin didn't called? Well, what can I say?

Oh what else is new? I've lost another pound. I hope I can stay it off for a while and maybe another pound or 2 before Thanksgiving. I know I will gain few more on Thansgiving and Christmas. I can't wait until Janurary so I can lose few more pounds again. Mmmmm Maybe I should go to excerise place? But I wouldn't go if I just pick whatever I feel like it. Ya know? The only thing I would go is there is a "class" like a classroom. There's a schudale and time for me to show up and I will go for it. *sigh* At the same time, I hate the idea of going alone. Pppfffttttt.

Aaarrrrrggggg

My respect to I. King Jordan is gone down to the drain. It's way below than minus zero! I couldn't believe it!

I never been so pissed off! That's enough now! I. King Jordan send Bulldozer to destory tents. How stupid! Don't you know that there are ALIVE people there?????? I'm going to speak that way for who he is! He's a killer! Well, he hasn't, yet... Lucky, no one got killed (I hope so, so far I didn't hear anything about that.) but there are few people got hurt by that @#$ bulldozer! Who he think he is? GOD? He is no GOD! For he has no respect to the deaf people. Sue him for doing that, he has no right to hurt people. It's like having a gun to shoot a person without warning.

Now that really pissed me off! I have no respect whatsoever to I. King Jordan and Jane... whatever is her last name. I don't care. As far as I'm alive, she never exist in my eyes. Jane is a "bad" person! *sigh* and so is I. King Jordan.

Here's the link: RIDORLIVE
...............

First time, I never thought that I am crying, right now. My tears flooding my eyes and the vision are blurring. I blinked my eyes' vision becomes clear as my tears coming out of my eyes and rolls down on my cheek. *sigh* My heart goes for Gallaudet students and deaf people! *shakes head as in unbelieveable event that had happened.* My thoughts and my heart are with them. Don't ever give up!

What do ya think of this poem? I just made that up. It's a pure first rough draft.

“Hear our hearts, hear our pleading”

We cannot speak through voices.
But we can speak through our hearts.

Do not destroy our pride
Do not oppress us

All we ever ask for is
Hear our hearts
Hear our pleading

Our hearts are bleeding
Hear our hearts for
We have souls.

Hear our pleading for
We have desires.

We will never rest until Jane is gone
And restore our pride for Gallaudet and Deaf people.

I'm proud to be Deaf!

Whatzz Up?

Nothing much!

I have no news so far... that means good news, right? No news means good news. ;-)

This late evening, I took Reese for a walk. I couldn't believe that outside got so dark quickly. The weather is very chilly. Now, I know why they called Fall time as spooky times. Because of the darkness comes in real quick unlike the summer the darkness comes very slow. Seeing the night shadows and wind blowing, the trees are moving. It's really interesting how that make it seems very weird but I like it. Haha. ;-) I kinda enjoying it....

Reese is asleep right now and she starting to softly snore with the lips babbling up and down. Her eyes are moving and her legs are switching. She's dreaming something. Whatever it is, she is dreaming. I wonder what dogs are dreaming about? I wonder what cats are dreaming about? It is something we will never know. Huh? Maybe one day for future technology, we can see other animals' dreams. Or Even better, maybe we could read animal's thoughts. I think that would be cool! Who knows.

Guts feeling

Did you ever have a gut feeling? Weather it is something is right or wrong... Usually the guts tells you something is wrong but don't know what?

I always follow my guts feelings. I know that they never stir me wrong. Only thing that it seems wrong, is because of misinterpet of what your feelings trying to tell you. Sometimes, I do not understand until later or thought that was it but wasn't. It's depend on situation. Ya know, one time I went out with a guy on the first date. My guts did tell me soemthing is wrong but don't know what it is. I chooce not to go out but my friend somehow convience me that the first date isn't always that great and sometimes ya need to go out 2nd times. Beside, you don't know for sure and there isn't evidence enough to find out weather or not he's a good guy. I told my friend don't talk science. This is different between science and fate here. Haha. Anyway, I did went out 2nd time. After the 2nd date is over, the guy told me that he's using drugs and wondering if I have a problem with that. BINGO! I knew something isn't right. I can't help but wondering what if the drugs are in his car? Anyway, I told him that this is his life and his choice. I told him that you don't need me to lecture about drugs are bad for you. You already know that, right? He said, yeah. So, he asked me if I'm interesting in pursure relationship. I told him, no. He asked me why. I told him that I am not interesting to have a relationship with someone who use drugs. He said what if I quit. I told him well, let me know if you do but in meantime, we will not continue to date. That was it. He did email me couple times but I didn't respond.

I do have guts feelings so many times. Like one, at my cousin's house, they ask me to take care of the newborn baby. He's only like ... a month old? I was like, ARE you sure? I never take care of somebody's baby before. Haha. Gratefully, I know that my mom is nearby that she can help me out if I needed to. However, I just did fine by myself, anway. Anyway, I let the baby boy in his crab asleep. I was sitting in the living room with the baby monitor of sound. Somehow, I knew that the baby is going to cry. I walk up in the hallway and listen. I can hear the baby starting fussy to cry. I thought that was interesting. I did that several times before I hear the baby monitor. I usually standing in the doorway when the baby start to wake up with cry. Here's the interesting part, I come up the baby and start talking. The baby stop crying. I continue to talk then the baby start crying. I took my 2 hands out to reach over to pick the baby up. The baby stop crying then I stop reaching over. I pulled my hands back then the baby start crying. Interesting, the baby is just want to be held. After all. I already feed the baby about an hour ago. It wouldn't be next few more hours until needed to be fed again. I held the baby until fall asleep then put the baby back to the crib.

There's another guts feelings. When my parents and I moved to Texas, I did have a funny feelings that somebody is watching our house in the front yard. Now, I may seems paranoid or not use to being in a new home; however, I've moved a lot so I grow accustom to it. This time it is different. This time I do felt something almost like stalking. It is something that I don't feel comfortable. Somehow I knew someone is outside in the middle of the night. For some reason, I couldn't go to sleep by knowing someone is out there. Few months later, I decided to get a dog, which is Reese. I let her sleep in my bedroom. Normally, she just bark causually. However, this time she bark vicously(sp?) with the hair stick up from tail to neck. Since it was nighttime, I do have all the lights off. My mom and I did checked out the window, this time *we* did see someone standing across the street and looking at *our* house. It's a shadow man figure. We couldn't see who or what he look alike but there is a man just gawking at our house. He has been doing that on and off for a while. Reese still barking. I let her continue to do that even though she wake me up in the middle of the night. Later, the man is no longer there, anymore. I knew that man wouldn't come to our house because of our dog is in the house. Heehee. I'm just glad that I have Reese and I'm glad that I listen to my guts. Now, I can sleep peacefully.

Speaking of sleep, I'm going to bed. Even though I have day off tomorrow, I do have some errands that I needed to do. *smile*

Here I am

Ready or not..... *wink*

Anyway, there isn't much of the news right now. Things are okay at work and at home. Our pets are okay. Our neighborhood are okay. No more yappers yapping. My parents did try to use the anymous(sp?) letter, first and seems like they do listen so far.... Just wait and see for next few more weeks.

Ya know? I never thought that I actually wants more money. *LOL* Sound greedy? Well, be honest with you, it just would be nice to win more than 100 million dollars by tomorrow. Yeah, I know. I think it would be cool to buy a nice car, house, boat,... and maybe couple more houses to go to for vaction in another country. Huh? Mmmm and maybe Maid, housekeeper, bulter, and cheif. Haha... and maybe have some personal fitness to help me to lose weight, too. Yeah, yeah, I'm daydreaming... or should I dare to say wishful thinking? Oh I wouldn't forget the charity, too. *grin* I do have couple of charities that I have in my mind that I would like to pay to.

I want more money....

Oh well....

Anyway, my dog Reese, is really smart-y. Other day, I let her go outside. I waited for a little while. She didn't come back to the door and bark. I thought that there's something wrong. I tried to call her but she didn't come. I grab the sweater since it is really chilly at night. I saw her walking around the car. I stood there and watch her behavior. She isn't eager of wanting to go for a ride. She seems more of investgating. I thought something wrong with the car? I walk up to the car and put my hand on it. I felt warmth and vibration. I knew that the car is running and seem like I am the one who forgotten to leave the car key in the car. Lucky, it wasn't lock. So I am able to get the car key out of the car. I told Reese, is a good girl few times and gave her the treat. While my parents were in bed. Hahaha.

Time flies again

Yep, time sure flies so fast! Man! My 2 days off are gone. I can't help but wondering how in the world that time flies so quickly like the light flashes in the blink of the eye. Yeah, it is. Well, I did enjoy eating good hot home meals for 2 days. Lately, I've been eating sandwiches... Yeah, Yeah, I'm working 2nd shift that means like from 2pm or 4pm until 11pm (unless it's 10:30). So, that's why I've been eating sandwiches lately. Mostly, It's turkey sandwich or peanut butter w/ jelly. Once, I ate pizza but I didn't like it because it has too much bread and little sauce w/ cheese. Yucky. So, I stop eatting that kind of pizza. I did onder chicken tender but doesn't have BBQ or HoneyMustard. It's just Ranch. I prefer Honeymustard and 2nd choice would be BBQ. Ppppffftttt, well, believe me it is a good thing that I'm not eating those anymore because it's really bad for me, anway. Haha.

Oh, today, I took Reese to the park. Oh she was eagerly to go to that park. She not just whine but sound more like a ape that grunting mix with whine. She continue like that when I'm driving to the park. She wouldn't stop until I open the car door. She's really that exciting. We walk for a little while. It's rather warm but the shade from the trees help some. Because being in the shade it does feel cool. That makes it big difference. Reese and I were enjoying our walk. I know I did enjoy walking, today. I know for sure that Reese's favorite things to do is going for walk in the park.

As, I looked around, one thing that I notice something is missing. Where is the heck of FALL colors?? I remember last year that there isn't. There are a few trees show Fall colors; however, the rest are green. I realize that those trees can survive in the dessert and that's why they are green. For, autumn color trees wouldn't survive. Truth is, we have ONE small maple tree in the backyard. Who is the HECK that person who lives here before us put that Maple Tree in the backyard. My parents and I know that there is no such thing for that tree can survive. I thought that tree is going to die. So, I added water. I admit that I forgotten 3 times by leaving the water running overnight. So, the water bill went high. Ooops! However, the tree did survived BARELY. Can ya believe it? Adding soo much water to that tree and that tree BARELY survived. That's why the autumn trees wouldn't surivive here in Texas. I miss the autumn trees so much. *sigh* Maybe I should buy more pix of autumn trees? Then put it away during spring and summer. Here are the several pictures of Autumn color trees that I remember so well. They are looks so much alike back in South Carolina where I were used to live in. I wished I did took all those pix every year for those autumn colors. Truth is I thought that my parents and I were going to live there forever. That's why I didn't take those pictures. What's important it is what I have in my memory. I may have a few but somewhere that haven't printed it, yet.

Here is a few expamle that look alike but some are either VA or Vermont.


Here are few picture that are from blue ridge parkway for real. And I do reconzie them. Those are the places that I've already been there.
That is Ceaser Head's place.
That's the road where my parents and I always driving on. It's in the blue ridge parkway, too. According to the website, it is. I know that road since I've been on it, too.
That one is in Switzerland's place. The left side is resturant. The food does taste pretty good. In the middle, it's a small food store with cashier. Then the right side is a small used bookstore. There is always a dog. I know it is a lab but don't remember what color. He/she just laying around as people petting or walking by. Seem so homey sometimes. I miss those. Well, I hope to remember to get the rest of the pix delevolop. Yes, the sooner, the better. Seem like it's starting to become my favorite quote, "sooner, the better." Huh??

Well, I better get going since I have to work tomorrow.

Contact to my 2nd mother

It's so nice to contact to her and talk about my work situation. She's the only person who I trusted the most. Interesting point of view to hear from her, it sound like my mom is big influence of paranoid. According to her, she said, don't worry about it. She is just upset that I was reporting on her of being bossy. She's just being bitchy. She also said something like this, maybe she has her own issues everybody has problems her problems are not about u so maybe u can even have a little sympathy for her it is kind of sad to want to be so much boss and not be the boss but ur responsibility to ur self is to do ur job and achieve ur goals there. Plus, she mention the more I report would make it sound like I'm whiney (well, not in a way she said I'm whiney but something like that) and I couldn't handle myself. It's just a little thing. They have their own job and they don't want to hear this anymore. They may get tired of it. So, I just have to ingore her and go mind my own business. I admit that I'm concern that she might get into fight. She said that I'm being paranoid. Maybe it is true that her bark is worst than her bite.

Well, I sure hope that she's right... Most of the time, she does.

Off to see the Wizard of OZ

Well, overall, my family are doing okay. My dad is having another vaction this week. He's doing the yardwork again. And possible to do the painting in the bedroom, my mom didn't like the light blue since it looks like pastle color. So, they are going to re-paint different color. I'm not sure what color is it. Oh, lucky me, I sorta have 4 days off this week. I only work Wed and Friday. Whoo-Hoo!!

By the way, I did my errands half-way. I am hope to finished by tmw or by Thursday. Since I do have Thursday off. *smile* I've been postcasting a lot. I finally catching up more. I finished up cleaning and oranized most of my things in my bedroom. There are few more boxes left. I'm so looking forward to finish them, too. Also, I'm looking forward to do many other errands that I have to do, too. I'm taking one step at a time.

There's another good news, I didn't think I mention (forgive me if I did), my parents did help paid off some of my bills. So, it narrows some things down. A fewer bills to pay the better it is. I admit that I'm looking forward to paid off my bills. I never thought I would be so eager to paid off. Normally, I dreading it and complaining that they are taking my money away. Of course, the more I refuse to pay the more intrest(sp?) will increase. So, If I increase my payment then it will decrease my intreast(sp?) and sooner it is to paid off then I don't have to complain about them taking my money. *LOL*

Why me?

I'm being victimzed by the bullies thoughout my life and that's inculuding my ex. I was like... What's the heck that they find me so attactive and that they target on me? What's up with me? Other than that I have emotion and others don't. Since I've been bullied at work, I decided to check out the interent to find out what can I do about it. There is an explain about why Bullies target on me.... here it is...This is who I am.

*being the expert and the person to whom others come for advice, either personal or professional (ie you get more attention than the bully)
*refusing to join an established clique
*refusing to become a corporate clone and drone
*showing independence of thought or deed
*having a strong sense of integrity (bullies despise integrity, for they have none, and seem compelled to destroy anyone who has integrity)
*being good at your job, often excelling
*having at least one vulnerability that can be exploited (ie being the sole breadwinner, having a disability or perceived disability, because you care such as your job, family, friends, about people, and etc)

There are few more lists. Now that's explain why the bullies target on me. Mainly, Jealousy (of relationships and perceived exclusion therefrom) and envy (of talents, abilities, circumstances or possessions) are strong motivators of bullying.

Personal qualities that bullies find irresistible:

*competence (this stimulates envy in the less-than-competent bully)
*intelligence and intellect
*honesty and integrity (which bullies despise)
*you're trustworthy, trusting, conscientious, loyal and dependable
*a well-developed integrity which you're unwilling to compromise
*you're always willing to go that extra mile and expect others to do the same
successful, tenacious, determined, courageous, having fortitude
*a sense of humour, including displays of quick-wittedness
*imaginative, creative, innovative
*idealistic, optimistic, always working for improvement and betterment of self, family, the employer, and the world
*ability to master new skills
*ability to think long term and to see the bigger picture
*sensitivity (this is a constellation of values to be cherished including empathy, concern for others, respect, tolerance etc)
*slow to anger (that's funny, I learn to be slow to anger)
*helpful, always willing to share knowledge and experience
*giving and selfless
*difficulty saying no
*diligent, industrious
*tolerant
*strong sense of honour
*irrepressible, wanting to tackle and correct injustice wherever you see it
an inability to value oneself whilst attributing greater importance and validity to other people's *opinions of oneself (eg through tests, exams, appraisals, manager's feedback, etc)
*low propensity to violence (ie you prefer to resolve conflict through dialogue rather than through violence or legal action)
*a strong forgiving streak (which the bully exploits and manipulates to dissuade you from taking grievance and legal action)
*a desire to always think well of others (Respect from this internet: http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/irform.htm)

And many more...

Wow! I'm normal. The bullies are abnormal so they target to the normal (like me) because they don't have those qualities and they are jealous. Mmmmm That's explain. So, they are jealous. Huh? Now that makes a lot of sense.

Oh by the way, I'm just letting you know that there are website showing about your child is being victim by the bully at school. If you are curious and want to prepare for that, it is in that website as I previous posted.

Speaking of co-dependent, there is one thing I notice about co-dependent. Even though, I can be one but I do notice that there are some people out there are co-dependent. For example, I refuse to do anything and someone who is "caretaker" start to take it over. That's consider co-dependent. I admit that I did that couple times. The only reason why I did is because I'm curious. I know it's not approate way to do such thing like that. That's my mom. She's very much co-dependent. I refuse to make myself something to eat. She explain most simple thing to do which I already knew. Yet, I didn't do anything but sit down. Few minutes later, she took it over. Also, when I was making myself something to eat, I just asking few questions, before I knew, my mom took it over. So, I try again. She did again. I just stood there with a suprised that she must take over. After that, she start fussing at me and blaming me for being manplating her into cooking. It wasn't on purpose on the first time nor the second time. I was fizing myself to eat and I didn't ask for help. She just took it over. Unlike, when I refuse to fix, she took it over. She continue to fuss at me for not getting myself something to eat and make her do it. I told her, "you can just walk away and leave." She couldn't that's problem and she mad at me for that she can't do it. I thought that was amazing to observe the behavior in overall. My mom didn't realize what she really doing. The whole time, I didn't realize either in the past with my parents and my ex until now. It's like I'm stepping back and observe myself and other behavior. I admit that I was doing a little bit experiment about that. I just want to satified my curiousity after reading that book that I mention about. It was very interesting prespective. It's like observing outside of the box.

Ya know? I want to do some kind of experiment at work but I don't know how to do that without getting into trouble or without hurting someone or could get fired. It's something that I'm curious about giving a try. Like I said, I hate the idea of getting fired.

Heck with it!

Every since I've moved a lot. I learn to not to make so many friends or make almost no friends. I tend to avoid to have friends. You have no idea how much it hurts when I have to say good-bye to friends and knowing they are so sad, too. That make it hurts even more. Sometimes, I do not want to say good-bye and just leave. It does hurt too much. Same time, I'm so use to have a friends that fade away. I mean, one day, we just decreasing slowly writing to each other before you know it's stop. To me, friends are just come and go. In my life, there are no such thing as lifetime friends. I admit that sometimes I wish that I have something like "Anne, The Green Gable" just to have one single lifetime friends.

So, I kept hearing that my parents said, "no, we're not moving." Or "yes, we are going to move." Or, "Maybe we are moving." They kept swing back and forth. So, Heck, I finally decided it's time to make some friends. So, at lunch, I started to chat with couple of workers are not in my area. I saw one of my team leader sat alone at the lunch backroom. I decided to join with her to have a chat. It's a great way to get to know her more and others. I felt a little bit better just talking for 15 minutes. My lunch is 30 minutes but that team leader showed up after 15 minutes. So, I was able to chat with her. It's been a while since I've chatting with someone beside my parents.

Off to see the wizard...

Guess what? Our neighbor moved out and the new neighbor moves in. They have 2 small white yappers yapping all morning starting around 7 am until evening when they are home. Two small white dogs stop barking. My mom was so annoying by that 2 little yappers. She did take it on me. I mean, she start to find something to agrue about just to explode. As for me, I slept like a log. Lucky me, I'm deaf. *haha* One nicest advantage about being deaf. *smile* Anyway, you got to hear about this one. It's been a nearly 2 weeks since the yappers yapping. My mom gets up and walk over to make some coffee. My dog... (yes it's my dog is being annoying, too.) She puts her paws over her ears. MAN! I wish there is camera and films somewhere to have that picture taken. It's sound so cute. Anyway, Reese was being so annoying that she jumped at my mom and just whined. My mom said, "don't blame on me. You're a dog, why don't you stop them?" Instead, she went to other side to reduce the sound. My mom's cat, T-T prefer to sleep downstairs under the table but instead he goes upstairs to get some sleep. I felt sorry for them being suffer by the little yappers.

The real reason why we didn't do anything because of our past. Some people do look for trouble. (Yes, there are troublemakers.) When my mom approach to the neighbor about the dog, the neighbor didn't do anything. So, my mom tries again but nothing works so we decided to take them to the court. However, that made it worst because my mom recieved a phone called that the judge said, "I have the arrested warrinty with me on my desk." My mom was fright by hearing that. The judge said, "You better get the lawyer." I'm surprised that the judge called because normally they don't. They just give the form to the police and have the police to come to my mom's house and arrested her. Instead, they go to court. The neighbor make up all the lies. Saying that my mom being cussing and swearing in front of her youngest daughter. My mom never cuss and her youngest daughter is never there. However, the youngest daugther said it is true. The neighbor kepts making up more lies. Lucky, that the judge said, "just don't bother each other and do not go neighbor's yard and etc." However, the neighbor did every way they could to bother us and went over our yard. My mom refuse to do anything because she's concern that she will get into jail just by the neighbor's lies. So that's why my parents refuse to do anything.

So, I thought of something. INTERNET... One nicest thing about technology today. You can find problems that possible solve. How to stop your neighbor's dog from barking. That's a great way to find something like that. There's a technology that only dogs can hear and not humans. That's fantastic. It work greats for most dogs but not Yorkshire Terrier. For some reason, it didn't affect on Yorkshire Terrier. Interesting. Huh? So, we will order that technology and hope that would works! My mom didn't know about that. So, she is going to get it ASAP. Haha. I'm glad that I could help to find a way to solve this.

Sometimes, I wish there is a way to solve every problems for troublemakers. Unforuntatly, that doesn't work that way. *sigh* At least, I could solve some things that is simple to do like yappers.

Pppfftttt

Who cares about the title?! Haha!

Anyway, since I'm not going to mention about work because of possible being sue or lost job. What happen to freedome of speech? Well, like I mention before, there are troublemakers searching for trouble even adult people. Sad but true.

Well, I did watch the movie "Our House" the hallmark channel on tv. It's good movie. It's a tear-jerker. :-)

Well, for those who may not be interesting... I'm going to talk this subject about Stargate... (again, it's not Trek).

I'm very disappointed that it would not going to show more seasons. It's going to show movie, now. It could be go directly to DVD or possible on TV. Well, I rather bigger screen just to drooling over this handsome guy Dr. Daniel Jackson (via Michael Shanks, so sad that he's married.) I know that bigger screen would look better. *dreamy sigh* Isn't he cutie? At least, I do think so. ;-) I just want MORE Stargate: SG:1.

Oh I almost forgotten. I finally had a chance to get around to update my resume. I hope this Monday and Tuesday (my days off) would give me a chance to look for another job. I would like to earn more money hours. Where I work is cheap, that's in my opinion. I felt that I deserve more. I found newspaper that is one dollar extra then 50 cents extra after 60 days. Sound good. I wonder if that's worth it? I may wait to check out more this Sunday. It is usually better job ads on Sunday. So I'm going to check that out. I hope to remember to ask my parents to get the newspaper this Sunday since I'm working this weekend.

Wish me luck, again!

Hiya!

You might have notice that some blog has been deleted. Well, I've decided it might be best thing to do. I do not like the idea of possiblity of being sue. Even though, I do have confident of "freedom of speech" and you can say whatever you liked to say. However, I do not have enough money to capable to protecting me. I'm sure that my parents would use their money but I do not want to take advantage of it. Beside, I do not like stress, anyway. It's not worth my stress. At least for quite a while anyway.

So, I've read some at RidorLive. It's really amazing information about Jane. Truth is, I never really like Jane as provest(sp?). Something about her that she's not nice person. I never felt comfortable around her. I sure hope that she will resign as soon as possible. If not, there are more Deaf people will continue protesting. Frankly, I'm surprised that newspaper reporter is on Jane's side.

I read here and there just to get enough information to know. What's interesting part? Jane didn't confront to the students and other Deaf people about "What do you want?" "What can I do to make this improvement relationship with you (whole Deaf people)?" She didn't. She just hide away and said, "I'm not deaf enough." That's sound whiney. She didn't put the effort to give or negotiate with Deaf people. That's what being president is all about to focus on Deaf people's needs. It is for the Deaf people. That's what is leadership is all about. She didn't! If she is going to hide, might as well something tells me that she not very good leadership since she not have the ability to confront. Something tells me that Jane refuse to listen to Deaf people. Again, that's what leadership is all about. Listen to the people! (ahem, I mean Deaf people.) Also, listen to ASL community, too. Listen to everything and everyone needs.

Since Jane refuse to listen and refuse to confront to say, "What do you want?" then I am in the conclusion that Jane does not have the ablity of leadership role.

Chilly tonite

OOOohhhh I love that so chilly, tonight. How much I miss thee? It's been a year my darling... Yeah, Yeah, I know I'm talking to Fall Season... Obvious, I'm the werid-o. Haha. I just LOVE Autumn. It's my favorite time of the year! I'm so looking forward to feel chilly and crispy air. I would be able to wear couple favorite lightweight sweaters. Oooohhhh, I enjoy snuggling in. Most of all, No Sweats! Haha. I hate sweating during the summer and yes, it is nice to swim but still. Fall time is the best in my opinion.

Off to see the Wizard...

My family and our pets are doing okay.

Chatting with my dad

Since I knew that my dad had 20-something years of experience of being supervisor. I knew he's the right person to talk to about the work. I shared with him about that bitchy girl. My dad told me that's not unusual. It happens to any other working area. He said just do your own responsiblity and don't worry about others. They will be watching them and... they will also watching me. They will check on my performance, too. So, I just keep it going. My dad mention that if they can see me how hard worker I am, they may gave me extra hours so I get extra paid. Interesting way of rewarding, to give me an reward is to give me an extra hours with double paid. Wierd. Plus, he said that as a boss, he gives every six months (dunno about the store I work at depend on company) review. He said that he knows who is hard worker will get 6% raise. For those who just average workers, they will get like 2 to 3% raise while those workers did nothing will recieve NO raise. Those workers complain for not getting raise. My dad said, "well, get your butt to work then you will get raise" My dad can't fired them for they do show up at work. Weird. My dad said that there are many competors. Chances that they will work harder and be ahead of you so they can get promoted. He said that there are chances that they will try to make you looked bad. They can made you agrue and turn out to make it your fault. What's important is that if that person start to agrue then walked away. Do not agrue back for they will try to make you look bad. There are many more.

It helps to talk to my dad about it. Now I know. I will just do what I do as usual and do my best as I can. Tell ya the truth, I do deserve more than cheap payments. Mmmm, I have been looking through newspaper. Since, I'm off on Monday and Wedensday. That would give me some time to search around. Anything to increase my earn would be great! So, I can paid off my bills real quick. No bills would be excellent ways for me to able to buy car and house and etc. It makes it easier, too. My parents and I do not owe credit cards. Whoo-Hoo!! Well, in the past, my parents did and they learned their lesson. They made choice to cut the credit cards and paid off of what they owe. I have witness that my parents doesn't owe and never use credit cards for quite a while. My parents kept telling me that it is NOT worth it! They advice me not to use it. If I ever need money for any good reasons or an emergency contact them and they will help me. I'm glad to hear that. I do not hope that I have to do that. I hope that I would be able to pay of my own as independent way. I admit that sometimes I wouldn't ask if I needed money. Most of the time, my mom asked me. Do you need any extra money to help you.... whatever it is. I HATE that part. Haha. I don't normally asked for it. However, my parents went ahead and offer most of the time.

*sigh* Well, change the subject...

Guess what? My dog, Reese is really "wow"! She is so smart and sweet. She mind me and respect me. However, Reese mangage to get away with my parents. Haha. I remember other night that my dad is already in bed. Sometimes, my mom forget. She manage to play with my dog and get her barking. I went, "SSHHHhhhhhh!" I wisper, "Dad's asleep." Reese quickly lay down. My mom saw her doing that then she tries to make her bark again. She did everyway to get her all hype up. Yet, she still lay down quietly. Haha! That's incredible. My mom is even impress with her. She said, "good girl, good girl" and gave her the belly rubs. I know that she's really great girl.

Today is very nice and cool. It's a great morning for a walk. Of course, I enjoy my sleep in as usual. However, Reese is all hype up and jumping around. She even tries to nip my mom's and dad's leg as they walk. She is all jumping around. She bend down with her butt stick up and her tail wagging. She kept going back and forth to her leash. She begging for a walk. My mom said "better take her to walk all over the neighborhood before she tries to kill us." My dad grab the leash and took her for a walk. They have been walking for 30 minutes and suddenly my dad needs to go to restroom so he came back to use it. Reese isn't finished. She wants MORE. She kept barking at the front door. So, my dad went out for more walk. Haha. I told dad, "thanks for taking her for a walk." My dad said, "I really don't have a choice." Haha.

Later in the evening, she's still full of energy. I decided to take her for a walk. She is so exciting again. She loves it! We went out for more walk.... for her. While this is just one time thing for me. This time she seem satified, now. She is resting and not playing. *grin*

About MLM

Check out the links: MLM - The Truth


10 Big Lies of MLM


MLM companys in Canada get the HEAT

Anti-Arbonne Link

Essay: Stay Away from MLM

False Profits

Here's the Home Page

pyramid scheme alert

Yeah, I know it seem like a lot of websites but it is worth to read them. *sigh* More and more people are joining MLM. I have not join MLM. I already know it is scam. "It's too good to be true." If it is, then it is. Well, there is one more thing I would like to add. I'm not christian and never will be either. However, I do like this couple verses here:

Matt. 7: 15
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, butinwardly they are ravening wolves.

Timothy 3: 1-7
This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters,proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers,incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from suchturn away.For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captivesilly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

God gave us the brain for us to use it. Either we face the truth or we don't. Either we just walk through blind such as "blind faith" without any questions as we continue to refuse to face the truth. I like the last statement, "Never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." It is all about greeds.

Or we learn by questions and never stop learning by able to face the fact.

Like my previous quote: Either we accept or don't accept the facts of life of our everyday life.

I hope that those people who joined MLM wouldn't turn into brainwash. I spoke to one girl. She said that her brother and his wife (with 3 kids) had joined MLM. They sold everything that means house, cars and all the stuff. They are living with their parents. They have bought plane tickets to go to the meeting in Mexico and hoping to get MORE money. She said that she wasn't happy about that situation. She knows that they have been brainwashed. *sigh* I hope that isn't true for the other people who joined MLM. I hope that one day they will learned that there is no such thing of getting rich quick.

I admit, it sure does sound nice. I couldn't find a website where gambling beats MLM. From what I understand that it is better chance to win money through gambling than MLM. Since spending all the money to gamling is no difference spending all the money to MLM. The only differnce is that gambling is better chance of getting money back as millionare than MLM.

Ya know what I'm thinking? I remember that one of my friend who join MLM has encouraging me to join. I did join without thinking twice. The only thing that I caught right away is that I HAVE to buy the products. First thing comes in my mind is, I'm not going to buy them if I can't sell to people. It is like you are recieving the same money back to you when you buy. Picture this: Going to Wal-mart and buy a shampoo and try to sell in your neighbor that is double the prices so you can earn the money.

What worst, the neighbor doesn't want to be bother. Friends doesn't want to be bother. Why try sell to those people who isn't interesting. Those people who walk in the store are interesting because they are open to asking questions about the products. While people at home rather spend time with family and friends or cooking dinners. How would you feel about stranger comes knock at your door while you are trying to fix dinner? It is same with my mom, she HATE telemarketing and always called during dinner times. Those times are for family. If people go out for shoping their goal are differents or different prorties. They want to buy something. If somebody try to sell you through phone or at the door, they are not interesting because they have proirties at home and dislike to interfere family plans. They do not have time to discuss about products. At the store, they do have time to discuss because they are the one who make the time. They are making decision. Do we have the right to interfere their decision because we make the decision to interfere them?

Well, I think I made my point here. Forgive me for rambling on and on. I can be... passionate in certain situation like MLM. They are scams. Once I realize that I join the MLM, I refuse to partipate. They didn't bother me. Ha! They didn't even send me free samples, either. Pppffftttt. It's not worth it. Beside, I know who I am. I am procasnator. I would keep on procasnating and didn't do anything done. That is another reason why I rather NOT work at home because I wouldn't be doing anything. HA! Beside, I rather work in a company where I know it has insurance and dental plans that I could take advantage. After all, without insurance and dental plans, do ya have any idea how expensive they are?

Random strange thoughts

There are many different random thoughts. Short story is one of them. So, that means it's both. Truth is that short story has a different ending. The original thoughts are really focus more on Cathrine than Sara and the mother.

Other random weird thoughts would be getting arrested the wrong person. (hope that never happens).

Other random weird thoughts.....I forgotten the rest. *haha* It's getting late.

depressing moments

Geez, I do get that at least once a month. It is before the "time of the month" thing-y. My mood swings tends to be like a roller coaster. During or afterward, I feel better and my moods are stable.

Interesting?

Well, speaking of roller coaster, I do have a strange ideas and thoughts comes around in my mind like I catch something from the air or pop in my mind out of nowhere. I wonder how did that happened?

Off to see the wizard...

Check out my Short Story.
And please let me know what ya think?

Weekend is nearly over...

Geez, where the time has gone? *sigh* Time seem flies so fast and faster and faster everyday. I wonder what else is new?

Well, for one thing is that I'm not really looking forward to go back to work, anymore. I wonder if I could ask my boss if I can transfer different dept... such as cashier? I'm going to talk to my parents first to see what they say or have some kind of suggestions. Reason why I was thinking about working at the cashier is becasue I do not have to put up with *&# costumers so much. Also, I do not have to put up with #$%* two of the workers. Two team leader (there are about 6 different team leaders taking turn.) are bitches. One is worst than the other one. One co-worker as I mention before about trying to trick me. She is being bitch again. *sigh* I'm doing what I can do as always. No-one ever said anything about my work but my co-worker does. Couple times, the team-leader did mention about need to work on few things but sound more reasonable while my co-worker sound more of bitch. *sigh* That's why I was thinking about working at the cashier so I don't have to deal with the co-workers. Also, I hate walking, standing,and cleaning after somebody else's mess. Yes, I know about standing at the cashier but ever notice the black pad? That pad really helps on your feet and legs better than anything. That's why I was thinking about cashier. Walking and standing on the contreate is really bad on your legs and feet. Plus, I have had the experience of working cashier in the past. I remember there is usually a black pad. I did came home and complain that my feet and legs are hurting. One day, I notice the black pad is missing. I didn't think it would make any difference so I didn't say anything. I came home and notice the difference. OOoooohhh My Goodness!! It was so painful worst than I ever had. I couldn't go to work the next day because of that. I can't stand up more than few minutes. Oh MAN! Now, I'm not complaining once there is black pad is back. I'm happy! My point is that I notice the differences. That's another reason why I didn't want to work at the softlines (clothings). Just walking and standing without pad make a big different.

Well, I admit that there isn't any more news. My parents and I went to famous steakhouse, yesterday. We enjoy that so much. Our pets are doing okay. My family and I are doing fine.

I hope that you and everybody are doing okay.

Good nite!
P.S. Oh, there's something else. My parents and I were discussing about 401k. I am clueless when it comes to saving money and retirement money. So thank goodness that my parents are going to help me out on this. I hope one day I will get a good job and have my retirement start saving. I also hope that I would get a small house. I'm not interesting to get apartment. I just want a mini-house or something. I get tired of dealing with roomates and etc. If I want a room rented then I have a right to kick that person out if I don't like that person especially of that person is $#*&% or any kind of personality disorder. I'm not going to deal with that anymore!

Well, I better say good nite now. *grin*

Almost forgotten...

I couldn't believe that I almost forgotten! Wow! Time flies fast! Do ya have any idea what's happen 5 (or was it 6 years ago...is that 2000 or 2001) years ago?

I remember so well as it was yesterday even though I almost forgot for that moment. I've been busy during that week, obvious. (By the way, I do remember the day but just forgot which year).

Well, on Wedensday, Sept 27th, 9:05am, I left the classroom and went back to the dorm. Feeling helpless, empty, and pain, I was so much in deep and dark beneath the ocean that I couldn't find a way out. So despreately, I look around and found a razor. It's the day that I *almost* killed myself. Somehow my body froze, no matter how much I want to kill myself but my body froze. I did respond in my brain "I want to ended this, now!!" Yet, my body still froze. My arms and hands wouldn't moved Frustrated, I don't remember how I ended up standing in front of the mirror. I stood there stare at the mirror into my own eyes. I said to myself (or rather, it's my soul), "FINE! I will go and find someone for help and if that person isn't there, I will come back and kill myself. Do NOT try to stop me, again!" So, I went off to knocked on the door and hoping that she would not answer the door. I was so hoping that she isn't there. Unforunately, she's there. I remember how much disappointed I was because I already determine to kill myself. *sigh* One thing lead to another and ended up to talk to professor counsler. I also remembered that the counsler did asked me if I want to go to pyschology ward (that's mental instution), I refuse to go! I almost panic when counsler asked me that, For a brief seconds of thought I would be force to go. (I looked back, I didn't realize until now that is sooo funny part.) The counsler assurance me that I do not have to go if I do not want to. I was relief. *sigh*

There's another bad news on the next day (technically 2nd day). I remember that night Sept 28th, my roommate invite me to come to meet her friend and get together to do homework. We were planning to help her to do the homework together. There are so many people in the bedroom. My roommate and I were the only one who doing the homework. Everybody chatting and talking. I was being introuduce that girl's roommate's boyfriend (not my roommate). I strongly remember that it was Thursday night about 10pm or so. That guy was so friendly and seem very sweet. I was kinda surprised by that because most foregin I know tends to be shy and quiet type but not that guy. I only met him once. I left because too many people talking. It's annoying. My roommate decided to stay. Although I wished that she didn't because of late night and walking alone isn't always that good. However, I didn't stay. I went off alone to my dorm. I was doing my homework for another couple hours alone without so many people chatting around. However, there are several people comes in and out like something is wrong. I stop one girl and asked her "what's going on?" She said, "I don't know. All I know there is some kind of accident happen in the freshman dorm" (that's the dorm where I was at before I left.). I assume that it is nothing but a freshman kid is having overdose of drugs or acholocal. So, I just ingore and continue to do my homework for another hour or so. I was surprised that I manage to do my homework even though there's a deep pain in my heart. It wasn't easy. I know that but I did what I could do.

The next day on Friday morning Sept 29th is my birthday. (yeah, it's amazing that I almost killed myself two days before my birthday.) I recieve the bad news, there's a murder happened in the freshman dorm. I was shocked and stunned to find out. That's the dorm I came out when I left. Shudder to think that I could get killed or murdered that night. I find it ironic that I have no problem to kill myself but I do have problem if somebody killed me. Ha! I guess that because I do not like somebody use me without my permission to do so. It has to have my permission, first. Anyway, there's a lot going on around on campus police then later FBI involve. There are so many talks, concerns, and worries of what going to happen next and who would be the next victim. I choice to stay most of my times in the dorm at evenings and night becasue that guy was killed around 7pm or so. Few weeks later, there is a guy being arrested. Could not find any guilt or DNA matches so they let him go but as primary suspect. The college kicked him out because of many people are afraid of him and thinks that he's a killer. My guts tell me that the police and FBI arrested the wrong man because there isn't DNA match. I know that he's innocence. I was disappointed that many people are already afraid of him. Funny thing is that I never met that guy.

Second semester came, I knew if the killer is still around, there will be chances that it will happen by end of the Feburary. Same thing that happens end of September so it has to be end of Feburary. If that killer is a serial killer would tend to be same pattern such as same blond hair women age btwn 20 to 25 over and over. Or special dates such as Hitler's birthday every year. There are so many ways. So I figured that he would kill again anytime soon. I made sure my dorm is locked competely. I refuse to go to use restroom until mornings sinc e the killer would do at night. The killer did killed the 2nd guy by last week of Feburary. I knew that would happen if FBI haven't caught the right killer. Sadly, there is another guy got killed.

What ticked me off? That killer is only killed these men is just for the money. When they recieve and SSI first of the month. So, he killed those two man and steal the check and credit card and use it! MAN! Why didn't the FBI and police checked that??? That would prevent from killing 2nd guy. The 2nd guy would have lived. *sigh* They arrested the wrong guy the first place. Geez, I don't blame him for hating that Gallaudet because of that negitive experience for him. Gallaudet did send an appolize letter and would welcome him if he decided to come back but he refused. I don't blame him. Now, the right killer was arrested. I didn't recongize the name however, the face seems so familar. My roommate told me that's the guy who's her friend's roommate's boyfriend. I was completely numbed. Few moments later, I realize, OH MY!!! That night was the night of the murder, that was the guy who I shake hands to. He seems very friendly, calm, outgoing, and sweet. I couldn't believe that I shook the hand of the killer on that night around 10pm and that guy killed a guy at about 7pm in the same dorm. *cringe*

I must say this, FBI and police are stupid....*sigh* I know, they are people and that they are humans but still ... letting the killer to kill one more guy. When the trail came, everybody were thrill when the jury/judge said "guilty" on tv. I was relieved that the guy goes where he belong in jail. I wonder, did anybody knows what sentence? I have no idea.

Well, that pretty much sum up for worth of 3 hetic days of my whole life. That's the story that I would like to share and I can posted here. *grin*

Oh, there's more story relate to the about arresting the wrong guy perspective..... that will come to later... Hope that I will remember to post that....