Guys # 3

Patience had been paid off. He did contact me first and I did replied. We taking turns natually and he shares with me of what his day is like as well about him hanging out with his friends. We just take it easy as we learn about ourselves.

Guys part 2

As I discover about this particular guy that I liked turn out that his philophsy(sp?) that sex come first then later love. However, mine is the opposite.

I have request two very good friends of mine about how to explain what is love.

Later, he mention that we are not match and said something that I'm inexperience. We should be friends and etc.

I was kinda disappointed and send email to let him that that my guts is not to let him go. There is slient from him so I was about sending another email telling him that I wasn't inexperences and etc then suddenly I realize what I was doing. I withdraw the information and I'm not that type of person to tell or brag.

I realize that I have wasted my breath and realize he's not for me and I needed to let him go. So I send a different message to him and summerize the whole thing that he isn't right person for me and I think him for keeping his promise to stay friend and nothing more. There is no respond nor do I see him online. I knew he's no longer speaking to me. I think he just worry about his own "reputation".

Later, I finally had a chance to talk to my counslor. She said that he's full of himself and sound too much like John, my ex-npd. Then I asked does he has NPD, too?? She replied that she can't be sure and have to know more about him but she advice me not to waste my time with friendship with him because he just string along.

I was kinda disappointed more than before and I mention, "will I ever find a decent and good guy?" she told me it is a good start that I didn't waste my time with him as I did with John.

She encourage me not to go out with guys who are bold and flashy. I laughed because I do happen to like to wear flashy clothes and mom kept reminding me that is too flashy. So it took me long time to learn to tone down with clothes and I finally found something I really liked is fall color clothes that looked good on me like mustard yellow (not bright yellow), earth-toned orange (not bright orange), brown, green, light green, and blue. I have to avoid animal prints, too. It is also flashy or anything that is glittery clothes or look similar as hooker clothes. Like I said it took me long time to learn.

I did brought up with one guy I know that seem isn't flashy type. She mention why not him? I hestate because he is mama boy. She reminded me that I'm daddy's little girl and mommy's little girl, too. Then I mention that I know someone who almost got into divorce because that guy with his mama. She said that wasn't being mama boy that was disfuntual(sp).

I was like... Ooooohhhhh... So I decided to email to this guy and asked him if he still liked me. His responded that he still liked me a lot. Then I asked if he thinks love first or sex first. He said love first. I asked him if he believe in 2nd chance? He said yes he believe in 2nd chance with heart feelings. Then I asked again if he believed there is possible for 2nd chance between us. He said yes. We did chat for a while then I waited for him to start chatting with me instead of me start with him. There is still silent. I still don't get it.

Patience is awful but I'm doing it.