SeaQuest JB

Jonthan Brandis! It is a bittersweet right after I watch SeaQuest. I bought DVD from the Wal-Mart. He played as Lucas Wolenczak as a young computer-wiz kid. He had committed suicide. Look up website thru Google search.

The moment I heard the named “Jonathan Brandis” my face was lighten up like a Christmas tree eagerly to hear what he is doing next for acting or director. When I head that he committed suicide, my face went off to shock. I was disappointed but at the same time I do understand. No one knows for sure. He didn't leave a note. He's clean. There is no trace found for drugs or alcohol. That is the information I found when I was reading thru website. I never met him nor do I know him. All I ever did was read about him. It is strange that I never met him but I did have a heartfelt of bittersweet that he's gone. My prayer goes to his family but mostly to his parents because he is the only child. Imagine how much grieves for the parents had to go through. I wonder how they are doing today.

He may have been gone but not forgotten. He is such a cutie guy and my first teen idol when I started to watch SeaQuest. The main reason why I watch SeaQuest is because I find anything relating to Ocean is so fascinating. I did fell in love with the TV shows called Danger Bay. I was looking forward to watch SeaQuest. That’s how I spotted Lucas Wolenczak. I think he did good job act

Jonathan Brandis, I can’t speak for you and your grief because I do not know you. However, I can guess how much pain that you have been through. You are in pain and yet feel empty and emotionless. Feelings and thoughts are seemed worthless for those people didn’t listen and believe you. You’re feeling alone even though so many fans love you but they don’t know you like I don’t know you. You had felt lost and no sense of direction. You have kept on digging at the bottom of the ocean where is so dark and cold. Kept digging and searching for a way out. There is no light to give you guidance that you need. You've kept digging. Until you finally gave up and stay in the dark pitch world full of cold and despair with no-one is around to support and give guidance that you needed the most. The pains are too strong that you are unbearable to handle. So, you made a quick and final decision that no-one and not even yourself to stop to kill yourself.

Farewell, Jonathan Brandis! I hope that you find peace afterlife!

Christmas tree

DSC00271
Originally uploaded by mysticalicorn.

Feel free to click on it to lead to flickr for more pictures.

my best dream -Edit

<--This picture was taken when I was in Hawaii.;)

I still remember my best dream at night few years ago while I was in college. I was in the middle of thick forest and varieties shades of green color everywhere. There were small waterfall and lake. I was standing in the opening with soft grass that feels like an expensive plush carpet. It felt cool on my barefooted with a long light blue/green dress but bit more blue-ish color. There were silver buttons line-up from top to bottom; my body is slim and curvy with long hair. The sun was bright and the air was cool and crispy.

I was dancing and dancing alone. In my face, I was smiling and laughing. I was just having a good time. A few hours later, out of nowhere, a great good-looking man saw me behind the bushes. He came down and bowed. My head bowed down and glance shyly into his green eyes. I stick out my left arm and he took my hand and we dance. We dance until the stars coming out with full moon shining so bright nearby the waterfall. Sound like a fantasy, huh? I know I enjoy that. Everything seems so details. I never thought that dream would be so clear. I still remember as it was yesterday.

<--This picture is from San Antonio. Pretty, isn't it?

Later dreams faded away, I woke up with smiling on my face and looked at the time. It was just few minutes before my clock went off for alarm. I got up and put my clothes on then going to class. On my way out, I was smiling in my face and looking around. I couldn't believe that I almost overlooked. It was spring!! The flowers were blooming everywhere and the green leaves were coming out. I actually felt alive and almost tiptoe walking almost dancing. I was standing tall. I walked by one of my friends, she came up to me and she said, "What's wrong? You looked so sad." I was like what?? I was smiling on my face and u said I look so sad. That doesn’t make sense. I ignored. I told her I never felt so happy. Later, more people kept coming at me and asking me why ya seem upset. Why ya look so sad?


Why do people see opposite?

It's funny only one teacher notices my happiness. She asked me if I had a new boyfriend. One person out of whole people I know, notice that I have smiling and glowing on my face.

This is from San Antonio, too.-->

My mom's cat

Aaaahhh Here’s my mom’s cat, Tom-Tom, technically, he’s my cat. Well, my kitten was given to me right after my final exam in High School. The final exam was depend on my score for graduate in High School. I was so worry. I even had a dream that my test score was only one point less and I couldn’t graduate. I won’t find out my score until 3 to 4 weeks. I was still worry even the tests were finally over. So my mom decided to try to ease my mind, she brought a kitten home. Guess what, it worked. He melt my heart. (Although I was planning not to have any more kitten because I’m highly allergic to them). Good news! I graduated!! In next couple years, I went away to college so my cat, Tom-Tom grow attach to my mom. He still remembered me every time I comes home for the holiday but he still attach to my mom.



Even he did attach to my mom, when Tom-Tom found out that I left back to college. He pouted. When she tried to pet him, he had bitten so hard and ripped most of her skin out in her right hand. My mom had to go to hospital. The humane society stopped by to pay a visit. They assumed that Tom-Tom had been abuse. So they questioned to my mom. My mom couldn’t believe it because there was another lady who had a child was also been abuse. She could see that and no one did not come to them to be questioned. When I came home from college for vacation again, he was so happy to see me. He finally comes to my mom and lay on her laps. My mom said that when I was gone, he wouldn’t want my mom have to do anything with him. He refused to lie on her lap and let her pet him. He’ll eat his food but anything else he pouted alone.

<-- I know the picture is alittle blur but it is the only picture that he finally look at the camera.

Tom-Tom enjoyed his attention from me and lies on my mom’s lap. He rarely lies on my lap. His favorite thing was to be brush. He enjoyed being brush by me. My mom didn’t want to brush him because she allergic to cats more than I do. He disliked the idea to be brush nearby his behind. His hair was so thick and tangle nearby his behind. He hissed every time I tried to sneak to brush nearby his behind. It is not on his butt, just on the side. However, I managed to get rid of his downy winter fur end of the summer last year. Hahaha.

He’s about 10 years old now. He loves to sleep all day. He’s very shy and hides when people come over. Unlike my first cat, he loves people. He would go to any stranger even across street to meet a stranger. My mom and I still loves him and enjoyed his company.

My dog, Reese

Hello! As you see my dog, Reese, she's beautiful. I adopted her from humane society. She was already 6 months old when I first got her. She is now about 14 months old. The lady at humane society said that she is part Border collie and lab. The vet thinks that she is part Border collie and collie. Mom said that she is Border collie and sheltie (small type of collie).




Well, what can I say? Her appearance has strong Border collie a-like the size and shape. Most Border collie knows as black/white or dark reddish-brown/white. I have not seen any light brown/tan with white like my dog. She certain has strong traits of Border collie as I compare with other traits of dogs. She’s smart and walk with full of pride in her. She’s very alert and explorer.

Reese loves her walk. It is her favorite things to do every time I get up. First thing she did that she goes to the front door and barking. She waits for me to get ready. She kept walking back and forth impatiently. She has so much eager in her. She’s very out going and loves people. She wants to meet everybody out in the street whether it is a person or a dog. She still wants to meet them.






When I invite my friends over, she was so eager to meet them. (If you are a dog lover…) She brings ball to them for play. She’ll come to you for her attention. She would lie on your feet to keep your feet warm. She will love you the first moment you come in the house. Every time my dog goes outside and ready to get in the house, I open the door, she didn’t come up to me. She goes to the visitor (or visitors). Hahaha. She got herself a new buddy when a visitor (or visitors) comes in.

Disney Movies

Aaahh Yes, obviously, I'm big fan of Disney movies. ;-)

I just finished watching the movie called “Bambi 2”. It’s a good one!! It is a lot better than any other part 2 Disney movies that I’ve been watching lately. Thumper is my mom’s favorite character and I can see why. He’s cute and funny. He is very much alike an original movie. Most characters are very close-like as the first movie. I like that. The movie is mostly focus on father and son. :-)

Other part 2 Disney movies, I didn’t really care that much. They don’t seem able to make the character alive as the first movies.

I did watch Lion King 2 and it’s okay. They did focus on father and daughter but it wasn’t that good. Mostly focus on Simba’s daughter named Kiara and Scar’s son named Kovu. I’ve notice that Kiara feeling her missing half when she looked down the lake and it showed the blur on one half and same goes for Kovu. When they met and fell in love with each other. They went to the lake. It showed that the missing half seem like complete as one. I’ve realize that TV shows and movies are teaching that your missing half will fulfill when you find your true match of another person.

In my opinion and experiences that I have had, that is consider unhealthy. You can’t expect someone to fulfill your happiness, love, and spiritual. It is only yourself and God/spirit/gods/goddesses/inner soul(whichever that makes you feel comfortable and be able to be yourself). No one can make you happy or fulfill holes in your heart. Part of me that I’m glad that I finally found my inner soul and knowing no one can take that away. My heart is full of love, happiness, and satisfies that I never thought I would be forever grateful. Which I am and I deserve it. ;-)

It just that it amaze me how much TV shows and movies doesn’t teach that.

I hope for everyone on this Earth would be able to find it in their own paths just as I did. :-)

My first blog.

This is my first blog. :-)

I know this is kinda seem lame but I'm just testing to see how does this work. I will write down what my thoughts, dreams, and experiences that I would not mind sharing with others. ;-)

Looking forward to be continue.....