It's Monday!

That's when everybody goes back to work except for people who doesn't have job (like me) or off on Monday. I spotted a bumper sticker of a website of certain company. As I check that out, I notice most highest percent of need are 3rd shift work. Well, since I’ve been up late at night, might as well go ahead and apply for that. Huh?

Mmmm, I wonder what is better way to get my foot at the door to get the job.

Off subject:

My parents are doing good and my Reese is sweet as ever. My mom’s cat is rascal, which is his usual. I’m doing good, too. I admit that I am a little bit bored but I manage to keep thing cleaning and organize around my bedrooms. I still have few more boxes in the garage. I hope by this Fall when it is cooler, I will be able to get more boxes and start to clean things out of what I don’t need. Taking those boxes everywhere and don’t know what’s in it. Haha. Well, moving so much, you just learn not to unpack everything and knowing that there is a chance to move again. Once we moved, we just take those boxes with us. LOL. I know it’s funny and never done anything with it and doesn’t know what’s in it, either. I think it is best for me to throw away and not look in it. But there is a chance that I might want to sell those for the other people might like to have or need them more than I do.

Oh lucky for me, the new show of Stargate did came on couple weeks ago and I’ve been watching 2 Friday nights of new episodes. I’m glad that it’s start early. Something to watch this summer because there isn’t anything else to watch unless a good movie comes on.

Speaking of movies, I did watch broken trail, it’s about Chinese women who being shipped from China to America as prostitution in 1800’s. Now that’s a good and interesting movie. I didn’t know about that part. Also, I’ve been watch some good Hallmark movies, too. Here’s another good movie called “The Staircase” a mysterious young man show up to help build the stairs since the small church forgotten the stairs. It’s good one! And based true story happen in New Mexico. That’s all I can think of.

Well, there’s a talk of possible not going to Gregoria, again. Can ya believe that? My parents always keep changing their minds. Or isn’t really my dad? I dunno. But I do know, like I said last time, wait and see if this really going to happen. One of my pet peeves (usually from my dad), we waited a last minutes to go. We do not have time to pack of what we needed, we just packed and go.

Oh yeah, other pet peeves of mine was dad said the airport is 8:30am but really it’s 7:30am. We were LATE but LAST ones to get in the plane. Geez, can ya believe that? I remember I was at the security line, and security kept telling me don’t do this, don’t touch this and that. Well, geez what am I suppose to do? Just stand there? So, I stood there and wait for command. The security guy come up to me and ask me which one is your suitcase (a small one)? I pointed. He picked it up and takes it with him. He use his head to gesture me to follow him. I already told him that I’m deaf but able to lip-read pretty good. There are so many people bumping around and hurry to leave. I just wait calmly and sit in the chair as other security woman come up to me to test to see if I have any metal or bomb around me. Meanwhile the security guy uses the cloth to rub around inside the suitcase. There’s a chemical in my suitcase. The security said that it is usually if you spill perfume or shampoo in there. Since the bomb is usually from the chemical. I remembered that I did spill shampoo in there and I thought I clean that up good. So, he has to unpack my stuff out of the suitcase. I admit it is soooo embarrassing all my personal things are in there. However, I manage to keep my cool (knowing that we are late for the plane, too). That security guy is taking ALL his time to unpack my stuff out of the suitcase one by one. He kept saying that he’s sorry that he had to do this. I told him, “Don’t worry about it, just take all the time you need. I can wait.”

He seemed to be a little bit surprised, “You do understand why I’m doing this, don’t you?”

I was puzzle by that OF COURSE I do understand that is his job and a job to protect our country, “Yeah, I do.” I looked at the time; it is right on the nose of 8:30am. Well, I reminded myself that it isn’t my fault nor the security guy. I know it’s my dad’s fault because he kept doing that all the time one hour late. He does not able to get the right time. Anyway, he tried to pack my stuff SLOWLY but he didn’t get it right.

I asked him, “May I pack my stuff?” He said, “Oh sure!” Gratefully, I packed the way I know where it should be as I always did to make my stuff FIT in the small suitcase.

I make sure, “Am I able to go?”

He said, “Yes and thank you. Hope that you have a good trip.”

Boy! Was I glad that part is over? “Yeah, Thanks!” My parents and I took off quickly as possible and get in the plane. Well, I’m glad that was quick and not sitting around a long time for the plane. We don’t have to take turns and waiting in the line, either. I admit that it is kind of nice but it’s a risk the possibility of missing a plane.

Hope that ya enjoy my story.

Quote of the day: "Where there is love there is life." Mahatma Gandhi

Coyotes

As I read the newspaper, coyotes can be extremely aggressive toward dogs, cats and other domestic animals. Unfortunately coyotes had been killed small children. So keep ur pets from dark to dawn inside the house.

It happened in my neighborhood, there is a couple who lost their dog to coyote. I didn't know that there is coyote on the lose in my area. My mom or I always let the cat outside at night. It is his favorite thing to do go out at night. Now, since we find out in the newspaper to warn us. We decided not to let the cat go out at night, anymore. Just the daytime if it is not too hot.

My mom's cat Tom-Tom kept meowing and walking to the door. My mom's respond, "I know you want to go outside."

He respond, "meow."

She said, "I know you do but you can't go."

He walked back and fro to the door, "meow."

She calmly said, "No."

Tom-tom wasn't happy, "RRReow"

She firmly respond, "No."

He pout, "GRRReeow!"

Mom said again, "No, Tom-tom, you can't go outside." He hissed while arched his back at my mom and took off to his favorite sleeping spot in the house.

He's such a character! Of course, he's not always sweet and lovable cat. He wants to go his way or no way. Haha! He doesn't like to change the rotinue. He rather stay the same rotinue. Tom-Tom isn't adoptable cat unlike my first cat, Tom. We named first cat Tom and second cat Tom-Tom since both are orange tabby cats. I thought about name 2nd cat junior but I changed my mind so I go with Tom-Tom.

Something New.

Well, I guess there is something new that I would like to mentiona about.

*grin* Last night, I went into the bathroom to get ready to go to bed. Suddenly I saw a spider. Well, it is big but not so large. Maybe size of quarter, it's brown and not fuzzy type. Some what black in the back, I'm not sure but I'm guessing possible of brown recluse? Well, I've been watching on tv about it. That spider only active at night and likes to hide. They do not show themselves. They rarely harm any people but it happen to bite people in bed. Some lose their leg or foot because of that 8 legged creature. However, some manage to not lose leg or foot. Still, I hate the idea of a spider climb in bed and bite me. Knowing same time those spiders are benifit for us because they eat bugs and especially the blood-sucker bugs. I decided to kill that spider. Strange, first time I felt guilty for killing that brown recluse. I mean I kill bugs many times but not butterflies, dragonflies, and moths. First time I felt that I should have get that spider in the jar and put the spider outside.

Now, that's werid.

No Title # 2

Well, the weather here is hot but not toooo HOT. It's about 90 degree. It's better than over 100 degree for past a week or so. I was able to swim, today. The water is a little warm but lucky we just add the water so that helps to cool it down a bit.

Reese seem feeling better. Mom said that reason why she seems merserable is called "Dog's Day". When the weather is hot, they don't do much. It is usually on very hot weather. No wonder. Now she very playful mood since it is not so hot outside.

Well, Sunday is coming around and after that it will be Monday. I wonder if I ever going to recieve any respond from the company(ies)? If not, I may go ahead and contact to my VR. ( I'm not going to spell that out.) From what I understand that VR will pay for someone to search job for me. I sure hope that would work. However, it doesn't mean I just sit here and do nothing. It is best for me to continue to go and look.

I wonder, if I find job here, do I want to stay here?? Be honest, I don't. I really do not like Texas that much. I'm tempting to put on hold again and not look for a job until I move again. However, would that reduce my chance to find job if I waited too long??

What else is new?

Well, it seem like there is possibility that we are going to visit Gergoria. I dunno, I'm going to wait and see, first. If we are going then we are going, if not then ... we're not going. I wonder what else is new about this mind-changing every time.

Since it is possible there is nothing new around here, chances that I may reduce my time to do the blogging unless something comes up. I may spend more time on other things for a while.

Take Care of yourself and most important to know who you are.

Here's the good quote: "They will find what is unique about you and they will destroy you for it." ~Jon Stewart~

Fantasy

Reading a book or watching tv shows. We do have fantasy and dreams. Without those, is like without a soul walking on Earth. Fantasy, dreaming and daydreaming help us to keep ourselves alive to continue to have hope. That's what I think.

What's your most secert dreams? What kind of desires to hope to accomplish? What kind of fantasy do you have? It doesn't have to be sexual desire or share something that is too personal.

When I watch tv of animal planet, I saw some people create a sanctary for animals. There is one in Florida (I think) for horses. When horses are no longer in races or time to retire, they have no place to put them so they put them to sleep. Instead, there is a older couple created sanctary for horses. So, they have places to stay and run free.

I watch another animal farm, I think here in Texas is that for more of exoctic animals such as elephants and tigers and etc. It is usually called "mad elephants". People label them mad elephants even they are being raised by humans and trained them to be a good creature. Little did they realize, some baby elephants had witness their mothers had killed. They are very intellent creatures. Something brought flashback memory for the adult elephant by realize that he/she lost their mother. We still don't know what provoking them. Maybe a smell, sound, or sight might have cause them to change to become mad elephants.

What's really sad part is that, people who killed elephants for the Irvory Tusks and abandoning the baby elephants. They manage to live either with other group or alone. Now, they do not have mothers to teach what's proper behavior and etc. They did a lot of unusual and unpredectable behavior. So, we misinterpret them as mad elephants.

It is nice to see that some people who are open-minded and study animal psychology to gain to understand what's affecting them as to compare ourselves. That's my idea. It is a theory but I think it is excellent theory of today's socity of parents who doesn't teach children's behavior of what's right and wrong. But it happens from generation to generation, weather or not it happen but help us to understand ourselves of what's happening to us.

Unless, someone pointed out that it had already been research. I dunno. Maybe I can find out?

Anyway, the whole point I was talking about fantasy and dreams. I like the idea of created a sanctary for animals in my home with large several acres. Same time, I know it is not easy to do because of responibility, money, foods and etc. It is a commitment and know what kind of animals. It is best to understand them before I can let them be in my homeland. The main question.... would I be able to handle that? Or would there be any volunteers who would be willing?

Obvious, I'm animal lovers. *grin*

Don't lose your nerves

That's what my mom said. Don't lose your nerves.

I did contact several companies for relate to my education. All had same respond, "I didn't recieve your resume." Well, Geez! That's what they said 4 weeks ago and I called again second around and mention that they didn't recieve it and I send them again. Until I called and asked if they recieved them and yet they didn't.

I did asked them to send me an email when they recieved my resume and I have not recieved one email from any of them (and that's including my friend's job).

Doesn't that seem annoying? My mom said that don't lose your nerves. Remember, your friend, Jennifer took her couple years or so to find job.

I looked at my mom like "Don't remind me" I do not want to wait that long. My mom said that there is a young man at the grocery store did talk about trying to find job relate to his field and express how much frustrated to find it. *sigh*

I spoke to the guy about searching for the job, he said that after 9/11 people reducing their hiring. I wish that 9/11 never happened. Why didn't FBI do their jobs as they are suppose to do to protect the country. What about the president? I don't care who is who is fault and etc or who provoking it. Protecting is very important. I can't help but wonder what if more people from other country (or countries) will do anything just to destory America.

Talk about freedom and dreams here in America doesn't seem like that anymore.

Well, what can I say? Life goes on. I just do my best as I can and go on.

**I'm dreaming of the white Christmas,

just like the one I used to know.**

I'm Nobody! Who are You?

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us -don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

Written by Emily Dickinson.

Did you remember that you were taught in English class about Emily Dickinson? I thought that was most interesting poem that I've read when the English teacher told us our assignment to read it tonight for discussion tomorrow. It is just not one poem but several from Emily Dickinson.

I like it the way she writes. I guess maybe because it is different.

OT: (Just in case, OT means Off Topic)
Well, things are going alright around here. It just that it's soo hot! 110 to 10 for several days. According to my mom said that the A/C is on 76 but it would not go to cool it down. I asked my mom "why? is it so warm in the house?"

Mom told me that it is 81 degree in the house and it would not go any cooler even it is on 76 and A/C keeps on running. Geez!! I can't believe that. I just want to keep things cooler around here. We hardly do anything. I admit that I'm getting bored. Reese is just moping around. She doesn't do much either but wants my attention. Just imagine that border collie knows as high energy and she doesn't want to play. She gets real hot easy.

My mom's cat, Tom-Tom, he also gets bored. He wants to go outside and he doesn't want to go because it is hot. Either that, he will come outside for short time then comes in for long time then go back and forth.

The weather here is awful. When, Reese gets stink then I have to give her a bath. I wated until after 8:30pm so I can give her a bath outside without being in the hot sun. She get thrill of being wet even though she doesn't like to take a bath. After I finish giving her a bath, she's ready to play.

When it is late at night, I thought maybe it would be a little bit cooler but it is not. It feels like about 90 degree. My mom thinks maybe it's 76 degree outside. She decided to check the weather on the weather channel. I was right... Well, one point different, it is 89 degree outside at night. *urgh* I'm willing to go back to South Carolina or North Carolina in the mountians where it is not so hot. There is part of me not motivating to search for job here because of hot weather.

Oh, I almost forgot. I'm not going to Gergoria this August. My parents and I were discussing about several different things and decided not to go to Gergoria and postpone that for next year. Seem like I'm not going to stay Gergoria. FYI: I haven't discuss my parents about my plan to stay Gergoria. There are several things that my parents have to do. As for me, there are several things that I have to do, too.

So, right now, I'm still in job hunting. I didn't realize searching for a job can be tedious. I'm considering to try to do soemthing about it. I even thought about taking my dog to school for training and therapy dog. Maybe apply one? I won't be surprised that I might have to pay for it. I'm going to wait and see about that. There's a lot of option. One thing I do know is that I do feel like I wanna get outta here.

Right now, I feel like there is a spur of moment of wanna to do SOMETHING!

Well, it's getting late. I better get going and go to bed. I have a long day tomorrow. Thanks for taking time to read this and hopefully a feedback or suggestion from the strangers and friends.
Cheer!

True or False?

Once upon a time, I was this young girl who dream of finishing college. Meanwhile, I live in a single room by myself. I was thrilled that I do not have to deal with roommates. Only thing that I have to deal with are suitemates and sharing bathrooms. I'm so glad that I have a door to close whatever I feel like. There is another door for exit and a small hallway where we could put our refrige out of our bedrooms. So we could have extra space in our bedrooms. There are 2 disablity girls one has wheelchair and other has CP (sorry, dunno how to spell). I admit that one of my pet peeve is they do take forever in the bathroom. So I made a habit to take a shower every night.

When the final exams coming around soon during December, I study real hard and went to bed early. I made sure that I have at least 9 hours worth of sleep. I gave myself an hour extra just in case I was restless (in total worth of rest would be 10 hours). I repeating myself that I did my best as I can and try to get some sleep. Plus, I gave myself couple hours worth of excerise since I know it will wear me out enough for me able to sleep. It didn't take that long. I fast asleep. It was around 3am in the morning someone at my door. Part of me wish my first door have peephole but doesn't. I opened the first door, I spotted a cute young guy standing at the 2nd doorway while one of my suitemate had already answer the door. I didn't like that one bit at all because I do not know this guy. I would not answer that door if I do not know who he is especially at 3 o'clock in the morning during final exams. There were a rule of not interfere of other people's study unless there is an emerengecy.

There is something else that I wasn't happy about it is that I wear white long t-shirt to the knee; however, it is very thin. It can see thru my naked body and I have nothing underneath!!

I went behind my own door and asked, "what?"

He said "There is a guy waiting out there and wants to talk to you." I was puzzle. Maybe this guy knows me and can't get in because he lives in different dorm. There was special hours of limited to visit different dorms. I asked, "Where do you live?" I don't know why I asked that wrong question since I was half asleep and my brain wasn't working right. I did slept hard so it give me time to get my brain working.

He was puzzled by my question but answered anyway, "I live in ______." (instert the name of dorm).

Finally, I was able to ask the right question, "Who is he waiting for me?"

He replied, "I don't know, he has short and dark brown hair and wear glasses." Well, I do know my guy friend who was wearing glasses but he doesn't have brown hair but since it is dark outside at cold night. My first thought is that I can see who is he through the window if I know who he is. I was very sleepy. I told him, "okay, let me get dressed with shoes on and I'll go and checked."

He seemed to be very exciting, "Then go downstairs to the basement and go outside then around the back of the building to meet him there."

I was shocked to hear him saying that and that's even bothers me more. I can't believe that my suitemate didn't even closed that *&%@ door!! She just stand there grinning like an idot! *Urgh* I kept my cool, "Huh? Say that again?" I decided to walk closer to him. Even though I do not like it. I started to wish I grab my robe but it is not nearby.

He explained again, "First come out that door then go downstair to the basement....."

I kept nodding as I walking up. Softly putting my hand on the door then slamed right at his face. I think I hurt his foot. I looked at my suitemate and was very unhappy, "Why did you answered??" She said that she doesn't know why and that she wasn't thinking straight. *Arghh* I asked her if she knows him? She said "no."

I can't help but saying this, "Did your mama teach you not to talk to stranger especially at 3 o'clock in the morning??" She kept saying that she doesn't know why.

I wasn't happy about that situation espeically when final exam coming around and I tried to get a long good night sleep so I can get up feeling refresh and study some more. Lucky, my final wasn't come until 1pm but still I want to continue with same rotinue without any interprut. I asked her if she's willing to come with me to go to Campus Sercurity. She whined, "Now?"

I replied, "I think it might be wise thing to do."

We went to the dorm office but it is closed and left the sign for oevernight emergency to contact a room number. We went up to use the doorbell and she answered. I explained what happened and would like to go to report security. She said, "Go down the basement and go out the door to go to Security building. *ARGH* Didn't I just explain where did I suppose to meet a stranger outside of the basement?

Calmly as best as I could, "I said, I suppose to meet a stranger outside of the basement and don't expect me to go out and go to security building!"

She seem fraustrated, "What am I suppose to do?" She is RA and it is her job to know what she's suppose to do! Do you think that I know? Instead, I continue to be calm as best as I can, "Don't you think you're suppose to go down and contact security to have us escort to the sercurity building?" She seemed like doesn't want to do that. It's her job and she's getting paid for putting up with craps so live with it or quit the *&@ job.

She went ahead and went down to the office. She contacted the sercurity. We waited for a little while until the security guy come up and took us there. We took our time to explain every situtation as best we can. Unfortuntatly that guy haven't got caught. *sigh* I wish they did let me look at every person in the picture who live that certain named of the dorm that he mention to me. However, they didn't let me. I know that their security is sucks!

Two Wolves- A poem

Two Wolves
A wise Grandfather from the Cherokee First-People's Nation, whose grandson came to him with anger at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice, said "Let me tell you a story.

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way."

"But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which wolf wins Grandfather?" The Grandfather solemnly said "The one I feed."(author unknown)

So, which one did you feed?? That's depend on entirely on you and your choice of which one that you feed the most.

I like that poem and I agree with that.

No Title tonight

So, how things going?

As I was typing, Reese is asleep. I can hear her aof, aof sound and it is not woof or bark sound. Her lips look like what you see on cartoons... Hard to explain than I thought. Her legs moved. I do mean all 4 legs and her eyes moved, too. I know that she has REM and she is dreaming something. Maybe chasing lizard that she tries to chase for few months, now. So cute!

Oh good news! I've lost one size down! Whoa-hoo! Finally! I feel like it takes forever. LOL. I just need to be patience and patience. I've been swimming lately plus once in a while walk my dog when the weather is nice. Most of the time, Reese would run around the pool while I'm swimming. Knowing she get hot real easy and sometimes she refuse to go inside no matter how hot she is. She refuse to get in the pool. So I usually wet her with the hose. She didn't like it but she gets real exciting afterward. She knows the water will cool her down. She plays, again.

It's nice to have swimming pool in the backyard. It helps to keep me cool and that I can play with her during hot summer, too.

Oh another good news! I've got tanned. Some people find it hard to believe that I got some tanned espeacially having adburn hair. I guess I got some Indian blood. Hee Hee. It's so nice of not having too white skin and sometimes I look so pale.

Thanks to the sun! And knowing I would get some Vitamin D. I hope that I can be a little bit careful of not getting too tanned because I do not like rough skin. I like to take care of myself and my body. It's nice that way when I watch my eating habit and excerise. I'm taking one step at a time in healthy way, not try to lose weight too fast or chances that it will gain double of what you previous weight. I'm glad that I'm taking my time to watch and learn other people of how they lose weight and gain back. Try to lose weight is a lifetime commitment, we can't just lose weight and then go back the old habit. It is best to continue and depend on invidual people who can do what they can. I quit cold-turkey in certian food or drink types one at a time. Such as stop drinking soda and that is including diet soda. Later, I stop eating sugar and replace sugar-free once in a while. I increase my eating fiber, veggies, and fruit from time to time. I stop eating potato chips. (it is kinda diffcult to quit potato chips than soda.) I admit I got sidetrack on potato chips but I quit again and hopefully it will be longer this time. I've cut down salts and using herbs more.

It's great! I hope that I would be able to continue that way. I'm looking forward to that. Now, next step might be hard to do. I remember when my friend who has diabetic and she has to eat smaller poition food. I might need to do that by try to budget with my amount of eating such as if you are full then don't continue to eat until you feel like popping and eat when you are hungry. So I'm going to try that out to see how that going for my next step. We'll see.

One thing I didn't know about this part, lifetime commitment as I said earlier, I've realize that now. I'm glad that I know. I also know that it is not that easy but it is going to be worth it. What really important is that take one step at a time and be patience. The good things will happen. When the bad things happen, learn from them, they are the reasons to give us growth and mature. Don't reject the bad things, embrace them. I know it sound silly but it's true use those bad things and turn into positive so the bad things doesn't seem that bad. Use them and learn from them so it would not happen again. Also teach others and hope it would be easier on them who are going through that similar experience that they are not alone.

Do your best as humanly possible to take care of yourself.

Spotted Narissistic

I was watching "Honey, We're killing our kids." I saw 2 young girls and parents are overweight. As I was watching, there is a younger sister who is very shy and having hard time interact with other people. So, the woman encourage her to involve dance class after school so she would be able to learn how to have social life and help her to become healthy.

I saw a father who refuse to leave his youngest daughter. He is the only father who stay and watch at the dance class. Now I can see why the youngest daughter always feel so intimated by him. He's controling her and watch her every moves she makes. That's how I able to spotted him of being controling her.

Here is another example of having Narissistic parent (or both), I did watch this movie a couple times but it never crossed my mind until I watch again after I already had the experience of having Narissistic X. You might have already watch or heard this, Ever After: A Cinderella Story. Where Danielle who tries so hard to please her stepmother just by earn her love which she will never gives the love to her. There are Narissistic parent who is just like the stepmother and what's worst, at least one child (or both) will become Narissistic just like the parent such as one stepsister is like her stepmother. While the youngest stepsister is not Narissistic, so that's how I started to notice more and more.

My first boyfriend, X-Fiancé who has stepfather who treated him the same way as he was being treated from. He tries so hard to please him to earn his love. Everything he does never able to do right under his stepfather's eyes. That's why he tends to overeating. He still not able to accept and move on. He still desprately need someone to love him and to be accepted. He will never have that for rest of his life until he finally accept and leave him, forever. Which it is impossible to do, every child deserves and needs to be loved. So, that's why they kept on try to please their parent(s).

Wow! I can see more and more on tv although we might not realize what are those. It is common. I am able to started to see everywhere, there are people at work, stores, park and even in my family. It's so amazing. It's like an eye-opener for me.

I'm going to Gergoria very soon. Now, since I've learn about Narissitic, there are certain family members that I do not look foward to see. Especially one of them is the A type, Aggression as I mention earlier.

May God protect and guide children who has abusive parent (or stepparent).

Sun Rising

The shy sun is trying to come out behind the trees. I think sunset is pretter.

Anyway, how things going? Things are going okay. I think I'm doing better now since I've been getting rid of all the negative energy from my ex-N who inflence a lot on me. Sometimes it take a while to de-program myself.

Speak of de-program, there are still some christian music stuck in my head. I've already get rid of most christian music. I couldn't believe I wasted on those. I've still kept a few. I'm hoping to get rid of them soon. I know, the sooner, the better and that I need to de-program of what I was taught.

I still remember a lot of bible stories. One I did remember when Saul met Jesus on the road. It took him (I think) 15 years of de-programming of what he was taught when he was raised in. It seem like I have similar position. I hope that by 15 years I would be able to finished de-programed myself. It is going to be a long process road for me. One step at a time. One step at a time.

One thing that is funny, I could become an atheist if I don't have spiritual experiences. However, I do have the spiritual experiences. That's what made me continue to believe that spirituals are real. Guardian angels, souls, and many more for those who tires to explain. (Ghosts are question marks??? I'm still skeptical about ghosts. I will believe it when I see one.)

I better wrap things up.
Quote of the day, ""Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." ~Mark Twain~

Cute Reese

Here's Reese! The picture is on the left. Isn't she cutie? She's so sweet and lovable. I finally took a picture of her holding her favorite bone that she loves to naw on.

She always carry with her. Everywhere she goes and right with her. One time, my parents and I were planning to go to vaction and decided to take her with us. When she see us packing, she grab the bone and put next to the car. Afterward, she took the ball with her.

Isn't she incredible? She's really smart-y girl!

Oh, when I was swimming at the pool of my parent's backyard, my mom said, "Did you know that Reese notice that I've been under the water a little bit too long she had her head up looking for me to see if I'm okay."

She has been keeping an eye on me. She's my protective girl!

I love her!

Here's another picture of Reese laying down and looking at me. It's a little bit blur but that is more cute! Oh, most pictures are from the tmoblie. They're not that great pictures but it makes memorable.

compulsive in drinking, spending and etc

***copy and Paste***Silent Withdrawal from Your Relationship Partners
As a result of getting hooked in your relationships and having no boundaries in them, you might experience silent withdrawal. This withdrawal involves not allowing yourself to feel feelings of anger or disappointment because things are not going well in your relationships. You might even be driven to use your compulsive behaviors to medicate your negative feelings. You might become more compulsive in your drinking, drugging, gambling, overeating or other addictive behaviors (eg.: shopping, credit car use, risk taking etc.). This act of holding in your anger, about your relationships not giving you what you wanted, just exacerbates your anger. Your keeping silent to maintain a "Peace at any price" stance to avoid conflict with your relationship partners just makes your anger greater and more intense. If you continue to hold your anger in, you will became more and more depressed which feeds the need to self-medicate and withdraw more from your relationship partners. By this action you may also pull away from family, friends, support networks and life in general. You need to get your anger out about how hurt you are that your relationships are not what you wanted. You need to get your anger out about how you have given and given in this relationship until you have no more to give. You need to get your anger out about how you have lost yourself in your relationships because you have no boundaries between you and your relationship partners. If you verbalize your anger in healthy ways you will become a better problem solver in relationships. This will help you and your relationship partners to creatively address and confront the issues pulling your relationships apart. ***End of copy and paste** Respectfully from that website.

Now that's interesting... I didn't realize that. I notice that many people are addictive of drinking, smoking, gambling, and spending the stuff because of refusing to face the problem or not able to say no. I remember that my mom mention that when my dad smoked often it means something bothering him. Sometime my mom able to get him confess but most the time he doesn't want to face it. So, when he refuse to face the problems, he smoke to release his stressful moment. It is usually from my dad's work that he has a problem from.

Anyway, there is a lot of info in that website, I think it is worth to take a look.

Ever experience this?

My friends and strangers,

Did you ever experince ths?

Person 1: When a friend kept talking, talking, talking and seem never shut up. Finally, once you and your friend in a separte driection, did you ever feel so exhuasted? Feel like your emotional drain you out?

Person 2: An opposite sex approach to you and s/he seems very friendly but seem like want to talk to you too much. However, you want to exuse yourself so you can talk with other people and not stuck with one person especially when you are trying to reach out to make more friends in a new place that you visit (such as church, party, and etc.). When you finally got away from h/her, trying to reach out talking to someone suddenly that same person that you spoke to while ago comes up to you again in like 5 or 10 minutes later. That person seem kinda annoying.

Person 3: did that person almost succeed to ruin your other friendship? Like that person did a backstabbing and make a rumor about you to your friendship. Your friendship and you almost hated each other. Once discover, it is really that person tries to ruin all along.

Or is it same with relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend or a married couple. Did someone ever almost ruined your relationship??

Did that person tend to forget what s/he was doing? Or didn't remember what s/he was doing?

Person 4: Did you ever met or see someone who almost impossible to see that person smile? Did you ever see that person seem like mad or straight lip (no frown, no smile, nothing just straight face) 24/7?? Tend to get upset for no reason or blame on someone? Did you ever see someone like grumpy old man but in a young man?

Person 5: Ever met someone who doesn't want to take responsibilty? Someone who tries to take advantage of your money or your pity? Ever met know someone who manpluate, lied or beating around the bush until that person get what s/he wants?

Could be at work, school, relatives, and/or strangers... It could be anybody that you know of. Ever have that kind of experience?

No vaction

My friends and strangers,

There are going to be nothing but rain, rain, and rain here this week. We can't go to the beach because of the rain. Oh well!

Well, we do need a rain, anyway. Around here are so dry and I can see the green turn to brown lately. It is a good thing that we have the rain. It just would be nice if it would show up next week, not this week. We have vaction this week. I guess we are going to use our vaction to clean up the house. *sigh* I admit I am kinda bored, already. I'm ready to get out of here.

I can't wait until we go to Gergoria!! Wish me luck!

Happy Birthday, America!!

Happy 230th Birthday to America!

May God bless America!

TV shows

I was just watching Bridezilla. I couldn't believe what I'm seeing those Bride women who going to be a wife soon, all stress out to put everything perfection! All I see was argue, stress, and upset. WOW! I never thought of trying to prepare a wedding can be so stressful moments. I can't help but notice they don't really have wedding coordinator. She wants a huge wedding. One woman have 7 bridemaids and 7 groommen. Other one has 14 bridemaids and groommen. I was thinking, don't you need a wedding coordinator? She was very bossy and controling. They don't like the way she's doing. One brother said why should I let my sister tell me what to do? She said it's my wedding not yours so move it mister. Well, not in exact words ... more of paraphasing. I think it is best to have wedding coordinator to do all the works and let that person to be boss around instead of bride-to-be. After all, it is best to have somebody who is more neutral and able to tolerdance around the wedding coordinator than put up with bride-to-be. How would you feel if your brother or sister telling what to do even it is the wedding but still tell you what to do?? Annoying isn't it? I think so. There's one couple almost didn't get married because the bride-to-be got all stress out and she feel like that her future husband doesn't helping her. She said something that wasn't really nice, "Are you really that worth for all of this?" It was like, wow! She even kick out one of her bridemaid out the wedding and replace another one. LOL! What worst is that it is only two days before wedding. She managed to find a replacement. Every bride-to-be kept saying, It's my wedding and I want to get what I want and if not then you out! Every bride doesn't seem satified with the growns, viel, gloves, jewlery, and etc. They have to check every details. If no tag then I'm not paying for it. Or I paid for this and I expect to get it now! Don't touch me! Blah blah blah. LOL

I couldn't imagine about large wedding like that. I rather simple one. Maybe I'll just get one Maid of honor.... Or not. *grin* I wonder if I'm going to become like the bridezilla? LOL! Maybe it would be better just to enlope in Las Vagas? *grin*


Well, here's come the most funny one, "Honey, we're killing our kids." I couldn't believe that the moms who go to store with the lists of veggies and fruit that she never heard of. In fact, she never heard of carrot. I was like, WHAT?!! I couldn't believe that. I laughed so hard because those really don't know veggie and fruit. They never heard of those before. One woman grab the wrong veggie or the wrong fruit. Like this one said, "Sorry mom, that's not spinach, that's Payapas." That's a wow. They have really eat so much junk food and soda. All those fast foods and pizza everyday. Oh boy! I know I would get tried of it.

I love veggies and fruits!! I enjoy eating turnip greens, collard greens, spinach, carrot, onion, radish, squash, and etc. My favorite all times are Apple, banana, honeydew melon, watermelon, strawberries, blueberries, grapes and many many more. Yummy!!

It just that it's hard to picture that there are people who doesn't know those veggies names and never had those or at least try those. It just that it does amaze me.

Slide down

When I come home from God know's where. LOL.

My dog, Reese was so exiciting to see me. As I walk toward to my bedroom, there is a long hallway. Even though, I already told her "hello" and gave her a hug. Reese still exiciting as she ran pass me. She ran toward to the end of the bedroom and ran back. Lucky, I wouldn't see her coming if I didn't turn the light on. When I saw Reese ran toward me, I knew she'll pounce on me. I stick my hand out "Argh!" in a serious tone of voice. It is almost way of saying "NO!!" She bend down and slide like a baseball guy slide to the first base. Lucky she didn't knock me down like the bowling pins.

I was kinda surprised that she has the ability to slide on the carpet floor. Her paws seem fine.

To type or not to type

I'm consider not to write a novel or a book. Why?

Well, after watching the Squid and the Whale, it is independence film. **snip copy/paste** Based on the true childhood experiences of Noah Baumbach and his brother, The Squid and the Whale tells the touching story of two young boys dealing with their parents divorce in Brooklyn in the 1980's.***End of copy/paste**

Well, that said it all. I only watch the first half and it's boring!!! I was about to fell asleep there. It is because of all talk, talk, talk. Brother pass information to Father and other brother pass information to Mother. Who is sleeping with who and all those backstabbing. I've realize that my book is all based on talk, talk, talk and rarely have action unless you want the abuse action. But still it seems boring to me... When it seem boring then the chance of writing a book would not be enjoyment for me. So, I may not write after all.

I like action! So my plan to write wouldn't be an action... it's would be almost similar as the movie but in different way. So that's why I changed my mind not to write.

Quote of the day: People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,but when the darkness sets in,their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. ~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross~