Bored

Geez, it's nearly 2 weeks and I'm bored, already. Sitting around the house and doing nothing is my most favorite thing to do. Now, I don't. Am I getting old?

Never in my bewilderest thought, I want to go back to work. Haha, *sigh* I need to be more patience because of my knee. It's okay, now but the pain is still there. It's more of on and off. My knee will be in pain after 15 minutes of walking. I just have to make sure it is less than 15 minutes. It's so hard not to do anything. I want to walk with my dog. I want to go to shopping with my mom and etc. I haven't heard anything from the nurse, yet. At least, I got the dr note that I can't work until Jan 1st. I hope my knee would be better by then. If not, then I have to get in touch with my Dr again. How annoy is that? LOL


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Everything is good around here. We are doing good. My dog, Reese enjoys having me around. My mom's cat is doing good, too. My parent is doing fine. I'm fine, too. (just my knee is in pain).


Today, it has been raining real heavy with bad thunderstorm. The thunder sound did startled on Reese few times. But other than that she's fine once I distracting her. I act like that's nothing. So she sees that then she's fine. The lightining is so close to the house that I can actually hear crackling and static-like before the thunder sound came in. Wow, it's sound very eletricity. There was Tornado warning and Flash-flood warning but nothing happens. I'm glad. I'm also glad is rain, today because this place is really dry and brown. It needs water. Mostly, I'm just laying down or watching the Stargate DVD that I bought, Season 1 thru 10. I'm watch Season 1. Where's Daniel have long hair, he's looks so young there. It helps to keep from me being bored. I need to get back to read a book.. huh?


Like I said, so far, things are going good.


Oh by the way, I did recieve couple emails from the jobs that I apply but all they are asking is Assistance Manager, Insurance Agents, Manager, and few other things relate to buisness in need. Geez, nothing relate to science field. I would give anything to have some kind of science-field. I don't know anything about Insurance Agents, manager, and other things. Why in the world they would want me? They have already set up for interview next week after Jan 1st all I have to do email them to confirm. Can't they read my resume? It's relate to science. Well, I already explore few things and send to my resume to certain company that I'm interesting in. I haven't hear anything from them, yet. I have to wait and see after Jan 1st.


Wish me luck!

Belief

From the book, I've read a little bit. "A note from a Friend" I thought that was very interesting part about "belief". Did you ever had that experience or similar experience? At dinner, when a guest asked for a salt, a person comes in the kicthen and couldn't find salt. A guest came in and asked, "What is this?" as guest pointed on the counter. Why, it is salt. Often times, we overlooked or... is it that we believe that the salt is *not* there on the counter. Belief is very powerful thing.

I have similar expeirnece. More of opposite.... It was Saturday late morning, I was getting up and put my comfortable clothes. I'm not going anywhere. I've decided to put my favorite ring on. I walk over where is my ring is at the usual spot next to my bed on the floor. That time, I do not have nightstand. I saw a ring on the floor next to several changes (dimes, nickels, quaters, and some pennies.) As I reach over and grab it, somehow it disappeared like what you see on TV. One minute you see then in the blink of the eye, it disappeared. I didn't feel the ring on my finger tips and yet, I believe so much that I did saw and touch it. It must have slip out of my finger and mix it up with rest of my changes. So, I grab each coin off the floor and put on my hand. Nothing, I still can't find it. I was sooo sure that my ring was there. I could have swore I saw it. As I kept searching and searching of every conor I can find nothing. I took myself a deep breath and asked myself "WHERE IS MY RING?!" Suddenly there something pop in my mind when I realize something.... The night before, I was cleaning my bedroom and I decided to put my ring in my jewlery box in the bathroom. So, I went over to see if my ring is there. There it is!! I just stand there awe myself and amazing how much belief and believe can be so much powerful. If you believe that the ring is there, you'll see it. If you believe the salt isn't there, you'll not see it. It's amazing how strong it is once you set your mind to it.


Ya know? It didn't cross my mind until now when I read that book. You can do anything once you set your mind to. Mmmmm... All I have to do is believe....

Knee pt 3

I'm going to see Dr, again... Geez...

I contact to my work saying that I really can't come cuz of my right knee. It is true. I can't walk more than 15 minutes. It's too painful. My boss is the one who talk to me on the phone. He seems not appricate that I didn't show up for work for a week and most of all it is on Christmas Eve is very "important". Well, not in so many words but it sure sound like it. I was like "whatever". My health is more important than the job itself. For all I care... I know Christmas Eve is most busiest time of the year especially for last minute shoppers. According to my mom, (I think I mention before) most of the time it is the manager who works at the cashier... Almost no one showed up for work.

Enough about my knee...
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It is sooo nice to take a one week break. It really does. And I took advance of my time to apply online jobs. I can *not* gentuatee(sp?) that website would be successful to land a job. I read many testenomony but still it's a risky... I apply resumerabbit (dot) com. Yes, I do pay for it. I dunno if that would help but one good point there... searching for a job is a full-time job. Wow! I didn't realize about that until now. Mmmmm after and during Jan, I might go to ask for rescuadle(sp) for time of working at my store. I'm considering part-time and maybe off like during Monday, Wed, and Friday. That way during my off days, I can take my time to search for other job or something. In meantime, I'm going to take advanage to search while my right knee is in pain.

Speaking of Christmas, I've really enjoy spending time with my parents. We were playing games and making nice dinners and nice desserts. Sugar-free Cheesecake from Cheesecake Fatory. Yummy! We were dressing up for Christmas Eve for Eat-All-You-Can-Steak. Even those guys there were just looking at me. Ooohhh, cutie guys. Haha. Some of the young pre-teen girls were staring at me the way I dressed up in black and red outfit. It is adult-theme of Christmas way. I have my hair all curls and put it up messy kind of way. Looks so much like on magizine or tv actress. The way how I do things and etc. Haha. Looking for role model, that I can tell. The waiter (men) and pre-teen girls were just look at me too many times. *smile* I do feel speical here. Guilt as charge... I'm loving it. *g*

Oh, we did went to watch the movie (without closed caption) Pursit Happiness actor Wil Smith. My dad interpret some for me. That helps a lot to understand of what's going on because it is mostly talk, talk, and talk. Haha. It's really good movie! Based true story.

I bought a lot of Christmas presents for my parents. I'm so glad that I bought very early. It was before the knee start to hurt. They were unexpecting at some things that I bought for them. Haha, My mom mention that I bought more presents than they bought for me. I reminded my mom that they are going to help me to buy my new laptop computer. So, don't worry about it. They seems enjoy so much with those presents that I bought for them. They sure show it. And those money I bought is my money that I've had earned. *smile* I'm happy for them.

I have 3 nicest shirts and one pair of white gold earrings. Those are very nice gifts. Espeically when I have my eye on Thinkerbell shirt. She bought it at the different store. That store have my size.

Meanwhile, Reese was very exciting to get bones from us. She is very happy and her tail keeps on wagging. She have several bones around in the house, now. LOL. Plus we gave extra treats. It is same for Tom-Tom. We made sure we have Tom-Tom with us because sometime Reese chase him out and didn't want him be with the family. So, we chase our Reese outside for few hours (it's warm sunny with cool breeze, she'll be fine.), so Tom-Tom can spend time with us. He really enjoys our attention. You can tell how much he misses that. Now, he is staying with us afterward. He wouldn't leave. We have Reese and Tom-Tom in the same room but oppsite side. LOL He had been doing that for couple of days, now.

It was nicest vacation of the week even though I have right knee in pain. (Even I was suppose to work, too.) I was able to focus on enjoyment than focus on my pain. Merry (belated) Christmas!!

Pet Peeves

..... Never mind...

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The medication did great job on my knee. Sometimes I forgot that I have pain in my knee. When I walk in the store today. It only takes about 15 minutes and my knee came back in pain, again. So I sat in the car and wait for few moments until mom comes out. She was buying something. I think this time it would not be make up exuse but a real exuse that I might not be able to come back to work in another few more days. It would be a wise choice.

My dog, Reese pout. She pout almost all day. She wants me to go outside play with her. She doesn't like me playing checker or any other board game. She wants me to play with her. She doesn't want me to play anybody else but her. She doesn't understand that I can't play with her because of my knee. I can play with her as long as I sit down and play ball... but she rather me chasing her or she's chasing me and etc. She wants to play hard not soft. So, she is really disappointed. I felt bad for her. I know she enjoys having me around. However, I still need to take my time to heal my knee, first.

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It's getting real chilly and love it every minutes.

Knee part 2

I went to the Dr. today. The dr said that it is possible just strained (or is that sprined, wrong spelling). Anyway, she said just stay off for couple of days. Egh! I knew that I have no choice but to go back to work on Sat and Sun... Unless... I have to find another kind of excuse... mmmm I will ask my dad later about that. I do not want to go back to work. Anyway, she gave me some kind of inflamation(sp) medication. If it is not better in one week then come back to see the Dr. Well, I took that pill tonight and seems better plus took another warm bath really helps.

This morning, Reese was so exciting and want to jump all over me, I firmly said, "no." Her head went down as she walk away. That breaks my heart... MAN! I know that she wants to play but I can't because of my knee is too painful and she doesn't understand that. *sigh* However, I play with her in other way... She seems to enjoy that way as long as she had attention from me.

Tom-Tom finally jump on my lap later in the evening. It's been such a long time. However, it was short. Unlike for my mom, Tom-Tom stays on her for hours. Lucky mom!

Well, it is getting late. I better go to bed to get some sleep.

My knee

My right knee is killing me more than ever. Last night, I woke up with painful so I took Advil. This morning the painkiller pill fade away and my knee hurts back again. My painful knee woke me up again before the clock went off. I couldn't handle it anymore. I barely could get up to go to use restroom. *sigh* I called my mom to come to my bedroom and told her about it. She's took a looked at my both legs. She said that my right leg is swollen. She told me to stay off of it. Meaning don't walk around too much... So, I called my work and explain of what I just mention. The person told me when I go to Dr. and want to have full details about my knee. So, I'm going to Dr. tomorrow or Tuesday. Once I hang up the phone, I went to take a long warm bath. That helps a lot. Sadly, there is no epstom(sp) salt.

Later in the evening, my mom told me that sound like I did something to my bone. I asked, "Meaning I cracked my bone?" She like, "no, not really something do with joint." Whatever. She also said, "I'm no dr so it is best to have it checked to make sure there isn't any badly damage." I asked, "So, ya speaking from personal experience?" My mom nodded. I hope it isn't that bad. I hope that it just bruised real bad from standing and walking too much. That's what my mom is hoping, too.

Well, look at the bright side, I get to stay home and being pampered. Haha.
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Well, remmy I mention about one of the family member telling lies, lies, and lies? Let's called her Twister. Well, Twister did got upset and told her husband the lies that my parents refuse to help the kids because....... whatever it is. I don't understand. It is all about the little boy having attention disorder and need to get certain medication and need money for counselor visitation. Twister made up 2 different stories along the way. So, my parents refuse to give any money. The medication doesn't cost 350 dollars.

Twister decided to send letter only to my dad. She mention in her letter that she feels that my dad should be in the middle of this situation. My dad knows all about it. My mom always tell him everything. Twister said that since she couldn't get any more of the money. Now her son is really sick with H.S.P, Just click on it to give more info about it. It was too late. If the doctor catch it early then it would not get worst. Now, he has it. It has nothing to do with disease. It has to do with attention disorder. That is a new story that she made up.

My gut tells me that Twister's lying again. I choose to say nothing. I encourage my parents just give them Christmas cards, Birthdays, and presents. Do not send to Twister any more of the money. I'm willing to bet no matter how much you give, she's going to make up more dieases for two boys whatever she can find so she can get all the money.

My mom seems worry about the boys. I told her there is nothing you can do. My mom agreed and she said that it is their responbility and they are searching for someone to blame on. My mom said that she reminded of her mother. Which both are NPD (as I mention in previous blog about it), it's sad but true. That Twister's husband raised by his grandma (NPD) so he married to NPD which is Twister.

Later, my mom contact the other family member and found out it was all lies. There was never H.S.P. I knew it! I knew it! My mom seems relieved. My mom said that if my dad or I or her, recieved anymore emails, letters, and etc throw away and never read it. She doesn't want to know anymore. She went thru her mom and she's not going through again with Twister. She had enough.

Living with NPD, (it is even harder for kids who put up with NPD mother, father, or both) is like living in "hell" on Earth. Believe me, it's true. That is the worst of all. It's like you are having a real devil mother or devil father or both that ya have to put it up with.

Well, good news that the boys are okay and there is nothing wrong with them. And never had every since. My parents did make the right choice by refusing to pay anymore of the money. And from now on, they will send only presents to the boys, nothing more and nothing less. I also giving the presents for 2 boys. The Twister is the bitch and same with my grandma (mom's mother).
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Change to better subject:

My parents had made the reservation Eat-All-You-Can-Eat meats... Yummy. I'm so looking forward to that. I couldn't wait for that.

Here's another good news, I contact to my friend in GA. She said that she is available during Labor Day Weekend. She is more than happy to be with me to go to convention, too. I'm so exciting. I will let her know that it is confirmed when I buy tickets and plane tickets. The round trip is cost nearly 300 dollars. OY! According to my mom said that the gas prices had gone up. She suggestion wait until January. Sound good, I hope it will decrease but wait and see. Plus 50 dollars for convention but it's worth 4 days. If ya want one day then it will be like 35 dollars but have to wait until time grew closer. I really don't like last minutes. So, I'm go ahead and buy it. I can visit day before Michael Shanks show up so my friend and I can explore to learn around a little bit better.

Also, another good news that Michael Shanks will be there for sure.... Unless there is a unexpected change of plans. I hate last minutes. *cross fingers* Hope that wouldn't happen but it can.... but *cross fingers and toes and eyes squeeze tightly shuts*

By the way, have you guys been watching good movies lately? Hallmark, ABC, and Lifetime channels are showing good movies almost all day. It's perfect timing with my knee and I couldn't move too much. I've really enjoy watching all those Christmas movies. *~*~Sing a sing, It's soon will be Christmas time.*~*~* I enjoy Christmas. *feeling Christmas-y*

Happy B-day to Michael Shanks

Yep, his birthday is December 15th, I know, so silly to tell him happy birthday in my blog but what can I say? He's my hearthorb. Haha!

I dunno if he's reading this or not... but who cares... Happy Birthday, Michael Shanks and may you always enjoy your Birthday and Best Wishes on your Holiday and a Happy New Year!

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Smile! Today, I enjoy sleeping in a little bit late. Afterward, I bath Reese. She needs it because she's stink. My mom wants to give my cat a bath, too. Haha. My mom couldn't but I can hold him without him strenching(sp?) all over me. So, I hold him while my mom bath him. We have been doing that since starting this summer. We only give vingar delute with water in bathtub. Since we allergic to cats, we decided to give vingar/water bath to help to reduce his dander that we allergic. It really helps ALOT! We have been doing that for once a week or so. Today, my mom went ahead and gave him shampoo. So, we are going to bath him for real. Last time, we try to shampoo him, he was really upset. This time we can. My mom scrubs him good. First time to see sooo much dirts and so much hair coming out of him. Before, it wasn't much of hair coming out of him. This time it did. Amazing! And.... It's really that dirty!

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I spend time staying at home. That sure felt good. Last two weeks, I've been out everywhere on my off days. I haven't been in home lately. Haha.

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As I mention before about Labor Day Weekend to go to see my favorite actor named Michael Shanks in Atlanta, GA. As I figure out the money, I am able to go for sure but I'm going to wait until Jan or before Feb 10th to double check to see if Michael Shanks and his wife confirmed to go. If so, I'm going! *squeeeeeel* Pray: Please let that be true and let that happen.

A strong will

I was watching tv spoke by Wyne Dryer. His book is soo dry but I do enjoy listen his prenstation(speech) better than his book on PBS channel. He spoke a guy named Ryan. He's only about 8 years old. He wants the to give a world a better place. In Africa, those people drink dirty water. He want to set up a well. It's cleaner that way. So, he cleans the house and raking people's yard and cutting grasses. He earned up to 200 dollars but found out later that it is really cost $7,000 dollars. So, he continue to work until he earn $7,000 dollars and donate for a well in Africa. The people there in Africa invite Ryan to come. So, he and his mother did came. There is a name Ryan's Day for the well. Later, he also earned 1 million dollars to donate the rest of wells for Africa. Imagine such a 8 years old boy who could do that. He even invite to do the Oprah but he declined! Because he have imporant thing at school. His mother was shocked. "Are you sure you want to declined? It's Oprah!" Yet, he did. Of course, Oprah was willing to work a way round to fit the Rayn schudale(sp?) so he can come. Amazing. I saw him standing up. He looks like he's 12 years old by now. Wow! That's incredible! If he can do that, so can we!
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This is for the Creator of the Universe!

Looonnnng week

Whew! What a loooonnngg week for me!! Saturday, Sunday, Monday to Wedensday are the longest hours I ever worked. OY! Oh boy, I couldn't believe it. I'm so exhausted. I even took myself longer than 15 minutest break. My right leg is killing me more than my left leg. In fact, I couldn't bend my right knee. I hate to bend down doing the lowest part of the table or selves. My right knee wouldn't let me bend if I do it hurts tooo much for me to able to tolodenance. I almost scream in pain. Instead I gave out a little moaning and grunts. My right leg couldn't take it anymore. When I am at home I couldn't bend my knee at all. I feel like both of my knee straight out like a log. I try to "pop" my knee but my knee wouldn't let me.

This week, I'm working exact same hour and off Thurs and Friday. As I mention before, I'm going to take off Saturday and Sunday, too. That means I'm having worth of5 days off and it's worth it. *sigh* I admit I'm tempting to arrive work late but I'm not going to. One more week, I reminded myself, be patience.

Ya know what? The world is not nicest place, sometimes.

Other day at work, there is a group of girls chit-chatting in the fitting room while the boss or team leader is on lunch break so they are taking advantage of not working. So, I dislike to be only one who is working here as one of the girl mention to me once. So, I just stood there and didn't understand a word they said. Until one girl write down names for "Secert Santa" and they got all names but me. I do mean they didn't left one person out. They made sure all the names were written down in front of other girls, too. I was standing there. Seem like I'm invisible here. That same girl asked in not a nice way, "Don't you have a break?" The other girl knew that wasn't nice and chance that I would tell on her about that because of previous girl who was not nice to me and she knows it. She said, "No, don't, there is a team leader needs to know who is on break and who is not. The team leader did asked for that." That girl who wrote down names said, "Oh okay." My guts tell me that I'm not welcome here. Geez!

All those names were wrtten down and posted on the closet door. It had to be taken down or the supervisor will fine it $500 dollars. Haha. Pppfffffttttt to those immature girls who is below 18.

What else is new?

Here's somethings funny, one of the team leader couldn't get the girls to work because they are always talking in the fitting room. So after that, the team leader put me in the fitting room because she knew that I don't talk and I do the work. She even wrote down in the note said that "No talking in the fitting room." Haha. So I stay in fitting room and do what I normally do.

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Curious, ever heard of stock bonds?? Ever have the experience?? Do you have any recommends?? I'm seriously consider to do the stock bonds. Maybe get more money out of it? Or lose my money as well? If the stock went down then ya lose money if the stock went up then you get some extra money. Depend on stocks and depend on which did ya pay to.

My mom said that she never try to use it. She thinks that I have to pay 1,000 to get "in". Whatever that means. Maybe she meant that I have to go to the certain agents for that and pay to the agents. That's my guess. I never heard anything such for agents. I'm totally clueless. Well, one nice thing about this is that I don't have to worry about if I lose money. Because I'm in a safe haven right now so I can take advantage to experience what it is like. I rather invest my money to stock bonds and not use the MLM scams.
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Remmy I mention before about this guy I drool over named Michael Shanks? Well, I contact one guy friend that I like. He lives in GA. Unfortuately, he rather go out with his mom for Labor Day Weekend of 2007. That's when I knew for certain that he's a mama boy. Because last time I spoke to him, he said that he always tell his mom "EVERYTHING" Of course, I gave him hard time, "Is that include sex life?" He blushed and laughed, "NO!" So, he's a real mama boy. He mention that he and his mom went to Canada last Labor Day Weekend. I was thinking, his father wasn't with them. Their parents to stay together. Something wrong with this picture. Way tooo mama boy. Sadly, I do liked him because he's the "only" guy (so far) I met that makes me laughed. My previous 2 ex never made me laughed. That's my my proroty for a guy is sense of humor.

Oh well, I don't mind going to convention alone. And don't worry, I'm still taking my time to find a guy.

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Oh, Ready for Christmas??!! I already have been shopping for my mom and dad and family. Whoo-hoo! I have already wrap up dad's christmas presents but I haven't done for my mom. I hope to do that soon. I want to get over with it.

Speaking of presents, I have 2 small boxes of christmas presents. It is sooo light when I picked it up. Now, I'm so curious. Normally, I know what it is but not this time. Weird. I try to figure it out. As I was working at the Target, I looked around for small and light box but so far the boxes seems so heavy. Is it jewlery? The box is a little too big for jewlery. But something tells me it might be a little expensive becuase my mom said that it would make me thrill to have that gift. MMmmmmm Curious, courious, and courious.... Well, I guess I will have to wait for Christmas Morning.

*~*~*Silver Bells*~*~*

Music lyric

Silver bells, silver bells

It's Christmas time in the city

Ring-a-ling, hear them ring

Soon it will be Christmas day

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks

Dressed in holiday style

In the air there's a feeling of Christmas

Children laughing, people passing

Meeting smile after smile

And on every street corner you'll hear

Silver bells, silver bells

It's Christmas time in the city

Ring-a-ling, hear them ring

Soon it will be Christmas day

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I can't wait for Christmas!! Few more days to go...

Smile

It's Texas de Brazil. Oh as I mention this before it's expensive resturant.

Speaking of steaks...last Saturday my off day, we went to steak house. I order ribeye steak. "mmmmm sooo delious" I've realize I haven't eat steak for a little over a month. OY! I didn't realize how much I miss that taste. I've savor it of every bite. It's never been tasted sooo good until last Saturday. I miss that steak. Yummy.

At work, my schudadle(sp?) is exact the same this week and next week. I have Thursday and Friday off days. OY! That means I have to work on Saturday and Sunday (Christmas eve) next week. NO THANK YOU!! I don't care. I'm going to call in for sick days. My mom told me that she use to be last minutes shopping, too. She's also mention that almost no one work at the store. If ya lucky there is one person at the cashier with looooooonnnnng line on Christmas Eve. Look like no body wants to work on Christmas Eve. Haha, should not wait for last minutes let everbody has a chance to be at home on Christmas Eve, too. *g* Anyway, I am going to stay home Thursday thru Monday next week. I wish them ( for those who show up at work) a good luck. They are going to need that.

Today while I was working, there is a lady who approach to me. She seems to find me interesting. She knew that I'm deaf because I wear hearing aids. She quickly approach to me. I couldn't remember of what she said but she being "door-to-door saleswoman" at the store. I was thinking here we go again another scam of MLM buisness-shit. Since I'm working and I suppose to be nice to customer and knowing I'm now a customer... seems very conflicts and weird. Anyway, she giving me a free small "christmas" gifts. It's something to do with face because she asked me if I have oily or dry skin. I said "combination". So, she gave it to me. I knew that she trying to "reel" me in. I can sense that. She asked, "I would like to know how do you like about this, can you give me your phone number for me to call you?" I shake my head and use a very good exuse, "I can't use phone." She said, "Yeah, I know, I saw that." meaning my hearing aids. Well, geez lady, if you did saw that then why did you asked? She's wearing exact similar outfit at the mall where cosmetics normally wear. I admit for brief moment, I thought she's working from the mall and try to sell it to me in a store where we don't have any kind of fancy as the mall plus I'm the worker. Then I thought, that makes no sense to me then I realize that's MLM buisness. When I recieve the tiny-small gift bag and saw the buisness card that said independent. Yep, I knew it! How typical?! If I wasn't a worker, I would bitch her out. Haha. Oh well, instead, I just said thank you and put it in my pocket. Afterward, I put in my purse so I can check it out later to see what kind of MLM buisness. I must investagate on that. Ya know, maybe I should become detective. Haha. Nah. I only do this so I can learn before I waste all my money for nothing. I don't like it. If it is "too good to be true" then it is too good to be true. That's what I've been taught. *******************************************************************************

*sigh* Is this me? Or is it my biological clock start ticking? I wonder what is it like to have a baby?

To Anonymous

Hi,

Your question: What make are your hearing aids and have you alweays worn this firm's?

I do not really understand your question but I hope this will answer to your question. If not, please feel free to ask again in different method of question.

Anyway, I forgot what my previous hearing aid made from because every 5 years I have to update the new hearing aids and throw away the old ones. Audiologists have their own opinion and preferences. I have been visiting several different Audioligists because I moved many different places (it's same with doctors). Anyway, this time that hearing aids I am wearing right now are from Denmark (I think).

I have wear those hearing aids since I was 2 years old. I was "training" to hear from the hearing aids. As a child, I listen to the tapes from many different sounds. I have to able to names them such as srien sound from police/fire truck, bird sings, car honk, door knock, door squeaking when open or closed, door slammed, water running, dog bark, cat moewing, thunderstorm, footsteps on stairs, and many more. It is something that hearing people hears everyday. So, I grow accoustm (habit) to wear hearing aid every day and night. Only time I take off hearing aid is when I go to bed. I learn to listen when people talk. I learn to listen my own voice. There is speech threapy to teach deaf people to speak the right way. I notice that my parents listen to music (mostly country music) I learn to listen music from my parents and hearing friends. I have my own taste. At first, I listen to Christians music. Now I don't.

I have to read of what words that said and listen to music at the same time. If there is no words then I could not understand what the person says in his/her singing. I have to have words for me to read and follow the music. It is only way for me able to understand better. I feel like wasting my time trying to find words when there isn't providing one. It's one of my pet peeves that there is no lyric words. Since I am no long listen to Christian music. So instead, I listen to classic and instrumental (such as panio, flute, harps, drums, and other) music sounds that have no words. I've really enjoy listening. So, that's why I couldn't resist hearing aids. I've already been raised to wear hearing aids for long time (since 2 years old).

Oh by the way, I've listen and know most words of Chirstmas music. I enjoy singing those Christmas songs from the CD's with my family as we decorcate Christmas tree. We do that every year during Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I hope that does answer to your question.

Michael Shanks

One of few favorite actors of mine. I know I have already mention this before. I couldn't resist to say again. He's my hearthrob. *smile* Anyway, I just found out the news about him and his wife. There is possible that they are going to convention at DragonCon in Atlanta, GA. It will be on the first Labor Day Weekend. That would be August 31-Sept 3. I want to go. And there is no stopping me except money.... ppfffftttt. Haha. I'm going to save it up all as humanly possible. One nicest thing about Atlanta, GA, I know 2 friends of mine lives there and I know my family lives few hours away from Atlanta. Haha! I don't have to worry about paying for hotel. I just able to stay at my friend's house for that. Only thing I have to do is pay for flight and food. *grin*

I remember I did contact Dragon Con once. They can provide volunteer interpreter. I hope so. I really do. I have to contact them this time and confirmed that I will be coming. I really want to just to meet *him* Not his wife or anybody else. Hahaha.

I admit that he's my hearthrob, guilt as charged. *smile*

Mmmmmm I am going to make a phone calls next week or shall I wait until Janurary? Heck, I can't wait for August 2007. There's part of me went very girly-girl inside of me. *dreamy sigh*

Yeah, I know mushy stuff.

**************************************************************************

Anyway, I'm so glad that today is my off-day and so is this coming Saturday. I couldn't wait for it. I already bought Dad's Christmas presents and my mom is just tagging along since she couldn't buy until payday which is tmw(Friday). Now, I need to buy mom's Christmas stuff this Saturday with my dad. I'm pretty sure that dad is able to buy Christmas stuff for mom since they have some money. I couldn't wait until Christmas. From what I understand, we might going again on Christmas Eve... Ooooohhh that delicouious eat-all-you-can eat different kind of meats. I would recommend anyone to try that resturant out. It's worth it. *smile*

*grabbing the bucket and *~*drolling*~**

Look at those blue eyes

deaf-hearing person?!?!

I. King Jordan did said that??

I feel sorry for him... but not just him but many deaf people who raised by oral or those who refuse to use sign language or know very little. Something tells me that Jordan couldn't accept his deafness. A deaf people (some, not all) who raise oral and raise in hearing family may not realize themselves that they don't accept their own deafness. They must be like "hearing".

I'm having second thought. I'm getting out of my chest, now. I just realize that my mom in non-spoken language that she doesn't accept my deafness. She is expecting me to be "hearing" I looked back and sum up all to the presents. She doesn't accept my deafness at all. Even though she said that she does but her body language spoke louder. For a split moment, I was tempting to take off my hearing aid and never use my voice for rest of my life. *sigh* I just depend on hearing aids for so long and I do enjoy listen music. I always listen to music before I go to sleep. It's my favorite things to do. One thing I do know is that my mom doesn't realize what she's doing most of the time. One day, I'm going to have a "long talk" to her.

*sigh* I do feel sorry for those who are deaf and doesn't accept their deafness. Even they are born deaf or deaf in later age. They can't accept it because they were raise in hearing family and most likely they don't accept their deafness. What's worst? Audiologist (specialize in nose, mouth, and ear, why? They're connected.) don't accept deaf people being deaf. They try to "cure" their deafness by giving them hearing aids and chocolor(sp) implant. I was working at the store I notice young toddler have chocoe(sp) implant. Even audiolist try to convice me to wear of every visit I go. One day, I fed up. I told him "no, I'm not interesting." He said, "because of 'deaf power'?" HECK! There are several reasons why I refuse, one is I'm not interesting to look like the "borg" (for those who don't know, watch Star Trek: The next Generation or Voyager simple way to explain is half human and half robot). Two: I don't want to cut my hair on one side and have surgery. I'm not intersting on that. Three: I can't scuba diving. The man just stood there with jaw wide open. Geez, what's next? Most audiologists are really closed-minded. I rarely meet any open-minded. I find them so annoying. Some audiologists expect me to be "hearing" too. They refuse to try to communicate to make sure that you understand. In fact, they never explain deapth about choclor (sp?) implant. I didn't know any of those until I went to Gallaudet and learn more about it. I'm so glad that I did learn.

Oh, I have nothing against for those who have wonderful experience with cholor implant which I have already met a few. However, that implant is NOT my thing! Too BAD to audiologist, they just interesting in more money, that's all! They never interesting to learn the differences. That's why I wish audioligist wasn't existance for area. Again, I'm grateful for hearing aids. Just don't like those closed-minded people and audiolists are the worst closed-minded I ever met.

Tonight is the night

*sigh* I finally decided not to get off my chest, right now. I'm not ready as I thought I would.

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At work, it was busy and yet not so busy.... Yeah, All the girls leave at 10pm and just me and the team leader. Sadly, the girls didn't do their work. The team leader went to have lunch break all the girls went into the group in fitting room and chatting for 3o minutes. I was thinking, "What a waste of time?!" I knew that I will be doing all the dirty work after them because team leader and I are going to stay after 11pm. I wouldn't be able to go home early. Turn out, when everybody had left, there are 4 carts worth of clothes to put them away. Later, the team leader called my name and I looked up quickly. She pointed for another cart that have to put it away. My jaw dropped and my eyes are wide as I was thinking, "Geez, thanks-a-lot-more-work-for-me, well, for 'us' the team leader and I." The team leader gave out a small laugh. I think it is my face expression that is priceless. That what she's laughing about.

Doesn't matter, I'm taking all my time to put things away until (very lucky) other team came in to join to help us to put all the clothes away. Afterward, we were able to go home by midnight and not 1am in the morning. The music stuck in my head from the movie I watch "The Shadow Dancer" actor Joshua Jackson. It's dragging on romance moive but still good movie. I kinda enjoy watching. Anyway as I mention this while ago about music stuck in my head from that moive is
"When marimba rhythms start to play
Dance with me, make me sway
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore.
Hold me close, sway me more"

That's the only part that stuck in my mind. Here's the rest which those didn't stuck in my head....

"Like a flower bending in the breeze
Bend with me, sway with ease
When we dance you have a way with me
Stay with me, sway with me

Other dancers may be on the floor
Dear, but my eyes will see only you
Only you have the magic technique
When we sway I go weak

I can hear the sounds of violins
Long before it begins
Make me thrill as only you know how
Sway me smooth, sway me now"

For some reason, I really like this statement "Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore"
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Arrivng at home, I ate light dinner and play checker with my mom before my mom goes to bed. I am the one who stay up a little bit later. I usually check emails first before I go to bed.... if dad remembers to hook up the computer. I don't have the password. It's my dad's computer that I use. Unforunately, my laptop sucks now. (long story). I'm thinking about buying new computer next month or Feburary. I doubt I would be able to buy this month because I'm buying christmas presents for my parents and I have to buy some medication, too. So I couldn't go for it right now.

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My mom told me that Reese is being so sad today. She's pouting, moping, and laying down all eveing while I was gone. She wasn't happy until I came home. Aawwww, she misses me. She's such a sweeting.

Last Thursday

Yes, it's true. We got flurries last Thursday. My dad came home from work that morning and I called the place where I worked that I wouldn't be there that night. It's great to stay home for 3 days that's Wed, Thur, and Fri. Believe me it's good to be at home. I didn't really enjoy much last Thanksgiving because it's just one day and it's diffcult to relax. So, having 3 days off gave me to able to relax and enjoy more. Somehow my parents and I celebrate early Christmas. We have ourselves potroast and many veggies. We setted up candles and fireplace and light up the Christmas tree as we watching snowing through our windows. *~*~*Sing-a-song, I'm dreaming of the White Christmas just like the one we use to know*~*~*. Oh, don't forget, we did start playing christmas carols from CD's. Reese seems enjoy so much for me to be at home. She's really exciting when I take her for a walk for 2 days. My dad said to me, "It's good to have you home." Few moments later, my mom said the same thing. I respond twice, "I agreed, it is good to be at home."

And I'm back to work on Saturday. At work is very exhausted. I didn't come home until 1am, today. It will get worst later on, as I mention before, we might be home like 4am. Mostly, we are busy with toys. We're finally able to get this done.

Oh, yes I'm staying up late right now. It's past 2am, that's because I'm trying to wind down first and have myself a light snack so I can go to bed able to sleep better. I dislike I'm having all wind up with engergic and eyes wide open. *sigh*

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Well, I did apply 2 application for 2 different stores which they do have better hours. One closed at 9:30 and other closed at 9pm. I hope to get hired is the one that closed at 9pm. We'll have to wait and see. I hope to hear from them by this week for interview *fingers and toes crossing*

My days off would be Monday, Thursday, and Saturday. My mom and I are planning to check out the new grocery store this Saturday. We hope that they will be open by this week. My mom suggestion for me to work there. I refuse. I want to know about the hours first before I apply. I'm not going to stay there that late.

Everything else is okay. Family and our pets are doing good.

Reese and the backyard, she was nearby the fence and I had my cell phone read. I called her to come and she runs down toward me and I took that snap. I could have swore I see a "fancy horse." Some times, she trod up and down in a slow way. Looks so much like a horse or some kind of ballet-like when she seems like tiptoe. Very much lady-like.

Oh, there's something interesting. I could have swore that I saw her smiling. I mean, when I was on the phone, I gave Reese belly rub and I stopped because I have to use my both hands and then give her belly rub. It repeat everytime. I looked at her when I stopped, she's not smiling. When I start belly rub again, she's smiling. She actually smiling. Her lips moved.

Check those 2 websites

http://serenity.man1.home.att.net/short_fuse.html

And

http://serenity.man.home.att.net/marriage.html

In additional

As I mention ealier about everybody has problems at work. One thing that my mom mention, "you have tasted what it is like in a real world."

*sigh* Wow! That's interesting.

Anyway, lucky today had been very slow night at work, not so many customers tonight. So we were able to finished up every early and left early, tonight. I've been moving real slow tonight. That is a good thing.

*************************************************************************************

My mom got sick. She had some kind of flu/cold for few days. Tonight she seems to be feeling better. I hope that she will be better by tomorrow. Lucky, that she had flu shot few weeks ago so it would not put much impact on my mom. Flu shots is not cure for flu. It gives less sick days and less impact once you get the real flu. Flu shots are just to help boast up the immune system a little. So, that my mom have a mild flu. Sadly that there is shortage of flu shots that happen same thing last year. I'm really disappointed. I was hoping to get one. Well, I already got myself sick, anway. Haha. Part of me am glad that I took the medicaiton earlier. Earlier you take the medication the quicker you'll heal. So that's why it took about a week instead a few weeks. My mom can't take medications because of her high blood pressure and diabetic(sp?). That's why she is able to get the flu shots. According to her doctor said if you have diabetic then get the flu shots and the doctor did warned her that there is a very few left. So my mom got it while she had a chance.

Everybody else and I are doing okay.

********************************************************************************

Weather is been very nice last week and this week. Sadly, there is possible mix of winter this Thursday. Sleet, ice, cold rain mixture. Heck! I might call at work and said that i'm not going to show up. If they asked why, I'm not going out there driving in the middle of the night. I might run over the ditch. It happens to my dad. My dad did run over the ditch on cold, icy rain on the road. Main thing is if there is dirt or salt then I might go to work. If not, forget it! I rather stay at home. My life is more important than the job itself. I'm not going to kill myself if I'm going to get fired for not showing up at work. Pppfffttttttttttttttttt

So, How is it going at your area?

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Well, I have no comments left to say.

Here's an interesting quote: It is not a question of how a husband and wife can be equal and alike. But rather, it is a problem of how a couple can be equal and different. -- Pierre Mornell

Light blub

Yeah...

Earlier, my mom mention to me it is same problems for all companies, workers, co-workers, bosses, supervisor, manager, and etc. Having problems to do somebody else dirty work. No matter what. We are still doing this together to do the work for somebody else who doesn't do their job.

We all have that. I just sat there and realize that my dad had that same problem everyday at work. My mom said back in South Carolina was worst one. For those certain people who didn't do their responsiblity. My mom said that he complain and crapping about that everytime he comes home. My mom said that I am reminded of my dad because I'm complaining, too. That woke me up.

Everybody has that problems.

As I surf around website how to deal with workers who doesn't do their work through web search engine and ended up find one person left a comment is... He's the manger and he complain about one girl who doesn't do the work. What worst, she doesn't know how to use computer. He had to teach her this and that. He tried to talk to his boss. The boss doesn't want to fired her because they are best of friends for long time. OY!! That's not good. The manager tried to get that girl to work and she never did. It's past deadline. The manager have to hold "both hands" to do the work for her to get the job finished. Yet, the manager's boss still don't want to fired her. No matter how many warnings that she had recieved, she still doesn't do it.

It's amazing!! There are half of the people do work and other half of the people who doesn't do their work. I find it "wow!" Everybody do have problems at work no matter what.

Like my mom said, "If you don't let go of that stress, you will become bald-headed by the time you reach 40's" What she meant is don't worry about it. Let go, and just keep on going. Somehow world still keeps on going no matter where you are at. Life goes on!

Once I realize by that afterward, at work, I have been going very slow pace. I'm surprised that I was able to finished early even in my slow pace. I try to be slower but somehow I finish my work no matter what. So, I just help on other but in a slower pace. Also, I will have myself 20 minutes break from now on until one of my bosses start fussing at me for not do that anymore. I might as well take advantage of that.

Oh, I even arrive at work another day and my boss is in the interview with another person so I just sat for almost an hour. Haha. Since my boss didn't write down of what was I suppose to do so I just sat and do nothing. Heck for once, I don't care. So, it's nice to sit down for almost an hour and still have my 15 minutes break and lunch break. And I still get paid for the first hour of sitting my butt down.

So, I manage to find a way. Be creative. If boss catch ya or something, then don't do again and be creative for another way. Just go through trail and error... Bye bye!

Today

****Warning*****There's a complaining moments here****Possible venting**** But most likely complain******

Ya have been warned... Read it in your own risk.....

At work, one of my team leader told me to put on hold of one dept I was working on and help other girl for the Men's jeans. They need to fold. It's rather messy. I knew that girl didn't do her work. Working in Men's dept is really EASY. It's so easy that you could have worth of one hour lunch and more than 15 minutes break. It's really not that much to do compare women's clothing dept. So many women shopping less men shopping.... Anyway, I went over and didn't see that girl. I went ahead and get started on those jeans. Few moments later, she shows up and talking on the phone. I'm still continue to work on the jeans and she is still talking on the phone. *sigh*

That's not fair here. WHY am I doing all the work for THEIR dirty work?!!? *sigh* Ya know??

Other day, one of the co-worker mention to me, "you are the only one who is working here." I realize what she's said and I went off to have myself worth of 20 minutes break (not 15). I'm not happy about that. She's right. I'm not happy because she's right... I'm disappointed that they're *not doing their job. They're not taking this sincerely. I mean... don't get me wrong... I'm not going to stay there for rest of my life nor others will stay there for rest of their life... They're there for *money... But doesn't mean that you have the right to stand there and doing nothing. They're paying you to do the *work. I have to stay afterward because they didn't finished their jobs and I have to stay and help them as part of "teamwork". Well, I do not want to help them... because they're *not* do their work.

*sigh* My parents said do not tell the boss... Let the boss find out and let them worry about it. My parents said that it would make me look "snatchie" (I know it's not right spelling) meaning something like "tellietale" or be on the watch.... I'm not being on the watch... She's standing there in front of me talking on the phone. It's very obvious. She's not helping me and she didn't do the work.

*sigh* Oh, I did fill out to change schuadule(sp?) for mornings. My parents don't think I would be able to but I have already done that. They're right. My boss did come up to me and told me that he couldn't approve it. He said that he's very flexiable about it but since it is close to christmas so he couldn't approve it. Anymore questions? My respond, "Nah, I understand." I was disappointed.

My mom and I did talking about me to transfer to different store. There's a new stores building built. Many signs said "now hiring". My mom thinks that there is possible that those stores will be closed at 6pm and closed on Sunday. I'm tempting to find out about it and see if I could go for it. Do ya think that I could get hired ASAP and leave the store where I worked? Would there be similar problems? Well, I hope not. If so, that's part of learning experience for me. Beside, it's a small store. How hard can it be? *knock on the wood* I don't think the co-worker would be able to hide to talk on the phone because it is one big room unlike too many depts like Target, Wal-mart, and other large stores. Well, wait and see... I will be off Mon, Wed, and Fri... so I can go over and check it out. I said this before and I'm going to say this again... I'm not looking forward this weekend for I have to work. One thing is that I needed to do is look at the bright side. It won't be long until Monday is my off.

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My family and I are doing good. Our pets are doing okay... (I think, becuz, I haven't hear any updates about T-T). So, everything else is okay. My dad did painted the master bedroom since my mom didn't like the color light blue. So they paint some kind of creamy or buttercream or very light beidge... something like that. It looks pretty. I only see half of it before I left to work so I didn't really had a chance to take a good look.

Oh, by the way, my parents were discussing about maybe moved but outside of this county because only in this county is EXPENSIVE while all other outside of county is reasonable prices. They have already took a look at one house that they liked. So they are planning to check it out. Mainly for prices... since taxes and bills keep on increasing... So, they want to check it out to see if it is really worth it or not.... to move again... OY! Here we go again... but I'm glad that it isn't other states. Haha. From what I understand it takes about an hour from here. What's really interesting is there's a saltwater swimming pool. I never heard of saltwater swimming pool but they do have it. They also have waterfall. Most important is 1.5 acres. I know Reese would love to explore plus so many trees. It's big space for her. They seems like thinking about it so they're going to check out the area... tomorrow I think.

Happy Thanksgiving!

*sigh* I'm so glad that I'm off today but like I mention before, I'm *not* looking forward to go back to work.. Can ya believe it? I finally came home at 12:30am. I'm working from 2pm until 12:15am and I am so exhausted. I went to bed. Oh, I did fill out to change the schuaduale to work in the mornings to evening. Do you think I would be able to get that? I dunno. My mom doubt it. My co-worker even don't think it is possible because of Christmas. So do I... but I went ahead and put in the mailbox for my supervisor and wait and see if he would approved it or not that would be next 2 weeks. Unless, there's a new stores building up and said "Now Hiring" I'm willing to be those stores closed by like 6pm and closed on Sunday. I needed that. I don't want to work at nights anymore. I want to be at home and enjoy the *beautiful* days. Yesterday was such niceist weather of all. I almost attempt to call for sick days. However, I've already been sick couple weeks ago so I couldn't go that again. I did asked one of my co-worker who work there longer than I have, she said that it is impossible to request days-off before and after Christmas... not like that way. She suggestion to call in sick. I'm not that type of person who would unless I'm really sick. I just couldn't do that, I admit that I'm tempting but I just couldn't.

However, since I'm having day off, I enjoy sitting in the backyard just to enjoy the *beautiful* day. The wind was blowing the weather is cool/warm mix. See a few trees that shows atunmn colors. *sighing* I just enjoy that so much. I really want that last few more days just to be lazy.

***************************************************************************

Well, Reese is such a sweetie and T-T still taking his hairball medience. He still have his hairball. I know that he don't like it. My mom tries to bush his hair more often so he wouldn't get so much hairball in his stomach. However, he hate to be brush his hindleg or nearby his tail. They're really all tangle and looks so much like shaggy. While the rest of his hair looked liked had been brushed. He kept hissing and try to bite everytime I get close to his hindleg and same goes for my mom. He really needs that so it would reduce the chance of getting the hairball in him otherwise he wouldn't eat his dinner until we give him the hairball medience. So he would be able to eat. My parents said that they can't afford to pay vet, right now. They hope to do that soon in next couple or so... but mostly hopefully that he would be better, soon. My mom and I try to brush him often especially that hindlegs.

****************************************************************************

My mom bought the movie Da Vinci Code (sp?) The story wrttien by Dan Brown. Well, I haven't had a chance to read a book. I know *me* too well that I wouldn't read a book if I watch the movie. I kinda wonder does the movie say anything of possiblity that Jesus isn't a real son of God?? If so, I'm willing to bet that my mom will turn it off and throw it away and try to convence me that it's not worth to read the book. Yeah, my parents can be very Christian and close-minded in so many ways. Sometimes, they try to open their mind.... I mean, once in a while, they try.

I am on either chapter 2 or 3. I finally start reading couple days ago. I'm hoping to get around when I can.

*********************************************************************************

What's next?

Well, at first, my parents were discussing about going to Gergoria for Christmas and realize that they do not want to. Mainly because of my grandma, she refuse to have heater and never use AC during summer in the house. When the house is so freezing cold and we're not use to that since we got use to mild weather like Texas. Everytime one of my parents turn on heater, my grandma turn it *off and it's really annoying. Even though my grandma said it is okay to turn heater on and even my parents are willing to pay for it and yet, my grandma still turn it off. So, that's why we decided not to go. We couldn't afford hotel.

I couldn't imagine that my grandma rarely use A/C and Heater. Imagine how hot and humid during summer in Eastern part. Imagine how cold and dry during winter in the Eastern part. Sometimes we have snow and sometimes we don't. Yet, my grandma never use A/C and Heater in the house. I just find it hard to believe. I think maybe my grandma so use to growing up in poor for so long and got use to it. Especially during Great Depression, where everybody's poor.

Who knows, I think it might be good idea to visit in the spring where's the mild weather and all those windows will be up and all doors will be open. Just like an old-fashion way, coming in like you own a home. Haha, Cool, huh? I like it.

***********************************************************************************

Well, Happy Thanksgiving and I better do a little bit of lundary then go to bed.

OY!

Yeah, I didn't realize that the store is going to be closed every night at 11pm so that means I would be coming home around midnight or so. I'm going to turn into pumpkin. OY! That would be last for about a month. Geez, now that something that I'm not looking forward to. CHRISTMAS .... for last minute shoppers. Well, I do enjoy Christmas! I love Christmas but it something that I do not want to do is putting up with last minutes costumer... Honestly, I prefer to BE a costumer. Haha. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I know. I know. Anyway, ....

Our T-T is doing a little bit better now. Since he managed to give the hairball out. He drinks A LOT of water but eat a little. Hopefully soon, that he'll be back to normal self. Just wait and see how he's doing. He's getting old. He's 10 years old. It won't be long for him. I know deep down I'm going to miss him when he's gone... Change subject to positive.

Oh, my very good friend of mine from Canada might be able to come down to Texas for a visit. I'll know for sure if he's able to in next month or so. Also, my other friend from Oregan would be coming down in Spring *CROSS Fingers and toes* I hope they would be able to. Also, I'm hoping to get to visit in Canada one day. It is something that I'm looking forward and check it out. I heard there's a best place to see bald eagles in one area where thousands of them playing nearby the river. That's something to see. Also, mountians... Love the idea to see the mountians.

I wonder about my other friend from Maryland...He did mention about coming to visit but didn't say when or how sooon.

Speaking of visit, I'm hoping that next year that my parents and I would be able to go to Gergoria to visit our family there. Hopefully soon... Maybe in the summer? Who knows? Wait and see. MMmmm I wonder what is it like to try to visit Missiouri? Well, I know for sure that I wouldn't be able to for a while. Since I'm planning on to go back to school in the Spring.

Speaking of school, I've still thinking about my future plans.

I like this quote, "Goals that are not written down are just wishes." ~Anonymous~

Cold/ Flu part 2

Well, no, I do not have a cold/flu. I know for sure I have already mention this before...

However, I keep seeing people who are sick and still shopping around. Geez, why can't they go home and STAY home? What are they trying to do?? To make OTHER people sick?? I can hear coughing and sneezing. While I work at the infants clothes, there are people there shopping for baby things while they sick. Oh don't forget, there's a co-worker who showing up sick. Mention that been sick all week last week and STILL sick... Can't ya stay at home??

I can't believe that people manage to get up and do things while they are sick.

If I'm sick, no doubt about that, I'm staying at home! until I get better and it only took me at least a week and I'm feeling a lot better. I took medience and go to bed often and drink a lot of fluids and soups..... Ya know the usual... I got better faster that way. People who doesn't get better quickly for those who didn't stay in bed.

*sigh*

I just hope that I don't get sick again. I really don't want that to happen. I've try to stay away from them and wash my hands often (just like before and yet I got sick).

Well, wait and see...

My family and I are doing okay. Reese is doing fine. However, we are very concern for our cat, Tom-Tom (short for T-T), he has not been eating and drinking for 3 days. He had been coughing every time when he tries to eat or drink. My mom thinks maybe hairball and he needs to take medience to able to cough the hairball out. So, we just need to keep an eye on him for a while to see how he is doing.

Agrrhhh pt 2

Geez, several days ago, I tried to post my blog but this blogger ate it! I was trying to talk about Reese. Egh! Never mind... maybe next time...

In meantime, I finally got back to work last Wedensday. I looked at my schuadule *pout* My days off are on Monday and Tuesday... those were my "chosen" days off. I was so hoping to have another days off this week beside Monday and Tuesday. WAAHHH. Oh well, I was so exhausted and I went to bed after work. I knocked out! and woke up about an hour before I go to work again. Geezzz no time for ME time. What I meant is between "God and I time"....(Not in chiristian's way, *grin*.)

Today's Friday... I'm off Tuesday... and Thursday (but really the store closed on Thursday the Thanksgiving day so technically I'm off one day of the week.) I am NOT looking forward to work on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I knew those 3 days are last minutes shoppers for CHRISTMAS! *groaning* I know I will be extremely exhausted. Oh, speaking of last minutes shoppers, there are people there does do their last minutes shopping, just 15 minutes before the store closed and asking me for help when I need to finished everything in perfectly in order so I can go home early. I can't... I have to put on hold.. so I can help that !#$% costumer. It's funny. I remember I am the one who always go for last minute shop and waiting for last minute. Now, I can understand why the workers keep urging me to leave. So, they can do the cleaning and oranizing and etc.... I say to myself I'm NOT going to be last minute shopping anymore UNLESS I really in need of something. That's it!

Speaking of last minutes, I haven't had a chance to buy my family christmas presents, yet. I hope soon...

Pastor

Speaking from my own opinion, if ya don't like it then don't read it...

The pastor is going down the drain..." 'Superstar' pastors pose challenge' " I read another news. That pastor said that he bought drugs but doesn't use it! HA!

Runaway Project: It's the tv shows where there are several people competition for better creative fashion clothes. There's one guy who have several "how to do" fashion books. He got caught and being kicked out because of the rule on the lists. He said that he has those books but doesn't read them.

Here's another one: "I smoke pot but don't inhale it."

OH PUH-lease!

What kind of exauses are that. That ridculcauas(sp?)!!

*geezzz*

About gay/lesbian, he doesn't "walk the talk". He didn't do of what he preach. He's a hypocrite. I won't be surprised that more Xtians hypocrite out there. It's sad but true.

More and more group of many different religions fell down, I wonder how many more are going to realize that those are really worthless.

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Life is too short, anyway.

Meanwhile, My family and I are doing okay. As usual, so is our pets.

Sorry that there isn't much new news so far. I'm so looking forward for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I can't wait. Also, I hope to get around to buy presents, soon. Problem is that I can't think of something for my dad. He kept saying he doesn't need anything. *geez* Dad, ya not being helpful here. I have trouble finding something for him. I usually buy jeans for christmas for him. What else? I dunno. I still don't know what to buy. Any men have suggestions? I'm open for suggestion! Oh, he doesn't play golf, hunts, or reads. He likes history channel.

Wait a Minute!! Mmmm, that something pop in my mind... History... I did check on Best Buy before but they don't sale anything that's relate History Channel. It means if ya want something then it has to be online. However, I don't normally buys online. Well, to be exact, I haven't been buy ANYTHING online. I did try to bid couple times thru EBay but I never won one. I admit that I don't feel comfortable buying anything online. Maybe I will give a try but wait until I earn few more money. I don't like to wait last minute. I hope to remember next time when I have enough.

gotta go!

Friday!

Well, since it is pass midnight so techincally(sp?) it's Saturday.

I've almost finished my laundry. I didn't realize that my dirty clothes paled(sp?) up almost to my waist in the basket. OY!! I'm so glad that I have 3 more load left for me to finish up tomorrow. Plus, I've been cleaning my bedroom, bathroom and my mom's kicthen. Yes, I've been doing the dishes and clean up the counter, too. Oh, I didn't forget Reese, I've played with her, too. While my mom been gone to do some grocery, she went 2 different grocery stores. Reason why is because there are some things that one grocery doesn't have while other does have. Sometimes one have sales and other have different kind of sales. So, sometimes my mom have to go at least 2 to 3 different grocery. Yeah, I know. It's kinda ridculcuas but this place is not yet that big like in the city where you can just go to ONE gorcery and has EVERYTHING. Being in country or random places, my mom does not have more choices in one store. My mom was surprised that I've clean up the kitchen. She asked me if I feel like it. I told her that I'm fine and that I'm no longer sick. Then when dinner came in, (just roast beef or turkey sandwiches) we make a mess again. I've cleaned that up, too. My mom asked me again, "Are you sure that you are not too tired to do this?" I respond, "Mom, I'm fine and I can go back to work tomorrow but I choice not to and I already know that I would have less pay, too." My mom said, "Ooohh so ya just wanna have a weekend off?" I smiled, "Bingo!"

Ya have no idea how I feel.. (well, maybe most of ya do.), I needed a break and I'm going to take advantage for that. Espeically, I knew that when Thanksgiving vacation coming. It's very normal traditional that people after Thursday will go off start shopping for XMAS on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. There will be EXTREMELY busy! That's why I want to take my time to have re-energize and be able to get to work for LONG hours! I would not be surprised that I might be working long hours, soon. Like I said, I'm going to take advantage of my relaxing weekend and spend a little bit more time with my parents while I'm doing the cleaning. *grin* I really don't mind cleaning as long I'm not that exhausted.

Oh, while my mom is gone, I open two kicthen window (yes it's tall and long one) and open the door. I know Reese loves to run in and out. Plus she would be running from one side to the other side outside. While, I'm doing the dishes, I keep my eye on her. After a while, she'll lay down on the rug and just looking around. I can see how much she's enjoy.

***********************Off to see the Wizard***********************
Ya know what? I'm usually am quiet type and very much listener. Sometimes I can be talktive and other times, I'm not. Most of the time, I'm just quiet type. What's really interesting is that, I'm mostly chatter (or should I say type) a lot on the blog than I am in person.

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Few weeks ago, my mom and I went to the mall and I've been looking around. There's a quote that capture my attention. "Never Underestimate the Power of Sick Mind" I like it and it stuck in my head every since. There's another quote "It is better to have loved and lost than live with psycho." I absoultely agreed with those two quotes.


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I didn't know about this. Somehow I surfing the net and ended up foudn this website "50 Most Powerful Women" Now that's cool! *smile*

Feeling a lot better

It was slowly of being sick to feeling so much better. One thing that's left is allergic and I'm taking allergic pill which is very helpful. Today, I'm not so exhausted and my nose is a lot better, too. I can smell around here such as foods and... well, there's a skunk coming around our house, too. We were upstair with window open and we can smell the skunk so we decided to come downstair and closed the door. It's really strong odor. I smell it first before my mom. P.U.

Anyway, I've finally get around to do my laundry and cleaning up my bedroom. I'm hoping to finish up by tomorrow and Saturday. So I can prepare to get back to work.

*sigh* There's one thing that I'm NOT looking forward is going back to work. Also, knowing that I didn't work this week and I'm willing to bet that my pay check is VERY low. Ugh! It's really cheap pay. Haha, at least, it does help me to pay my bills. Like I mention before, I can't wait to pay it off!! So I will have debt-free. Ya have no idea what's that like.... well, maybe most of you do... for those who paying bills and debts. Right? *grin*

Well, my family is doing okay and so is our pets. We were just doing our usual rotinue and chatting many different things.

However, there's something happen other day. My mom and I always open all the windows for such a nice weather plus saving some bills. We leave it crack about 4 inches or so. We left for a short while and came home. Reese had been barking on and off. I thought she wants to go outside but she didn't. I thought maybe something is outside or whatever it is. Because sometime she barks when other dogs are barking or something. Or she want to go for walk to the park or something. It could be many different reasons. However, one thing that never crosses our mind. My mom saw something different. The bathroom has been used. My mom was wondering if dad did came home while we were gone. So mom called my dad and he wasn't. After while, my mom saw one window open ALL the way and the screen was just lay there not being putted up with tight it up. The window is not 4 inches up. That's when my mom realize that it was a man in the house. That's explain why Reese been ongoing barking. I was kinda surprised that Reese didn't run off through the window. Also, I was surprised that nothing been stolen. Everything is fine.

However, my mom said that she's not suprised that nothing been stolen. I looked at her and thinking of what she's thinking, "Are you telling me that this man is not interesting any money and have some kind of alternative motive?" My mom said, "Well, I hate to think about that but it's possible that this guy might want to rape." I said, "Then why he didn't do it when we were at home?" My mom said, "It is possible that he didn't know that you are at home since you've been working afternoons a lot. So he might be guessing that I would be home alone." The thought of my mom getting raped that really bother me, "mmm You have a good point there." We decided not to open the windows anymore. Sadly, we couldn't enjoy the fresh air like we usually do. We always open our windows during morning, afternoon, and evening on the most nicest weather. We made sure that it is closed and locked before going to bed. So, we will use A/C from now on. Plus, I decided to have my dog, Reese back to that room where that window had been open at. One thing that I HATED the most around here, the windows... Why? They are so LOW that you can break it and walk in and out like a door. The windows are very high up to the cellings. Yeah, I'm talking about long, tall, and from bottom floor to top ceiling windows. It's very easy to get in and out without climbing over. *GEEZZZ* I don't like that kind of windows. However, that's all they have around here in Texas. Oh, my mom even suggestion to put catcacus in all windows. I gave out softly laughed, "Good Idea, that would give them less motive to try again!"

*****************Off to see the Wizard of OZ********************

Well, last week, I was watching Dr. Phil. The tv show shows something "hate" something....About putting people together who hate each other such as overweight people who hate skinny people and one or two hate overweight people. There's a black woman who hate white people and there's a white guy who hate black people. There's a lesbian girl who hate straight people. There's a straight girl who hate lesbian people.

It's very interesting to watch that those people who living in the same house. Haha. Oh boy, that isn't a good thing in my opinion. That does make it worst. However, what's interesting is that straight girl who hate lesbian/gay people is because of her mom who fell in love with other girl and they never notice her. Even her mom ingore her. She ended up living street and never had a chance to be a teenager and no love and etc. That's why she hated lesbian/gay people. I thought that was really interesting. Did we ever look within ourselves of why do we hate certain people? There are many different reasons behind the hate other than just fear. Now, they seems like being very good friends... straight girl and lesbian girl are being friends. That's what it seems like it to me. It's seems real. Now, I'm looking forward for the next show about overweight guy who hates skinny people and thin person who hate overweight. Plus seeing hatred between white and black. What are the real reasons behind?

Be a Man!

Why do men have to "be a man"? Ever notice that most... (not all) refuse to go to counselor? Even my own father refuse, well, he did for almost one full year for my sake's. Afterward, he never go again. Even my mom asked him to. He refused. Again, he only go to counselor for my sake's when I needed him to be there when I was with counsler, myself.

Ya know? When my ex and I were together for 3 most wonderful months, somehow it slowly go down the drain. Things changed and nothing seems going right. Everything I did wrong this and that. The way I respond (or react) is inapporiate. Everything is my fault. He blamed on me because I'm spoiled brat only child who have no brother or/and sister. If I did something wrong, I went to counselor to straight this out for my relationship. Later, I notice nothing improved. I asked and begged him to come, he only went once. Our relationship had improved for a week or so. Later, it went down the drain, again. I asked him and yet he refused. Everything I have to do to make the relationship works and it's all on ME. Later, I realized, it take TWO to make the relationship works. It take TWO to agree to bond together. It takes TWO to have sexual relationship. It takes TWO to agree to have babies or not. If one disagree, then back off such as one does not want to do certain things, respect that person's wish until TWO agree. Everything has to be partnership. I realize I'm the ONE who wants to make the relationship works and he doesn't. He never had loved me because of his NPD. NPD will never make the relationship works. He refused.

Ya know? A very good chance that my dad does have NPD; however, with that one year of counselor, he had improved himself in so many ways. Plus, he was young. The younger the person who go to counselor, the person's behavior is a lot better than older person such as my ex. He's older. He's only about 15 years younger than my dad but he's older. My dad start young by going through counselor. It's too late for my ex.

However, my dad still believes in "be a man" such as he must in control of himself and the family. He believes that if he's not able to take care then he's not "a man". Going counselor would make them feel less man. That's a myth but sadly so many men out there doesn't see that because of every gerenation. that was what been taught. He also believe that taking anti-depression pill would make him less man, too. He refuse to take it. One day, my mom did threaten for a divorce if he didn't take it. So he did. Haha. My mom did had enough with my dad's depression. Since my mom did put it up with mine when I was in H.S. I don't blame my mom for that.

I remember so strongly as yesterday. I don't remember what verse. I forgotten them a lot. I was sitting in the audience and listen to this guy who preaching the gospel of God through KJV Bible. I'm paraphasing here. He said that if you can't take care of a family then you can't take care of the church. If there's something wrong with the family then you must resign or straight this out. That's same for any buisness. I thought to myself how so WRONG is that? I mean, people are not perfect and so is the family. I won't be surprised if that man's wife ended up having manic depression. Does that means something wrong with you because you can't fix it? So that means you have to resign or HIDE. Best way to do is HIDE. Don't tell and show and etc. So ashamed... disgrace.... Just because you can't take care of you family doesn't mean that you can't do your job at work and same with at the Church. Nobody is perfect and never will be.

Check out for "Be A Man" Talk about myths.

Check out about most Men refuse to go to counselor.

Here's the cute and funny but interesting point of view: What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage?

Well, I left my ex because I knew that he never loved me because he never once shows. I left him because EVERYTHING is my fault. I'm ALWAYS fault. I NEVER get it right.

There are many things that I learned from my counselor about relationship and she pointed out one thing that we often get into fight or becoming defensive is two words "Always" and "Never".

I didn't notice that because when my ex said that "You NEVER listen to me", "You ALWAYS wrong and NEVER get it right." I repeat of what he said, "I'm always wrong." He said, "right!" I said again, "ALWAYS wrong?" He nodded, again. I said one word, "ALWAYS?" He stopped and thought for a moment, "Welllll..... Not Always but 99% that you are wrong." I respond, "So, 99% that I NEVER get it right." He nodded in agreement, "yep". I realize he had often use those two words. That explains why we had fight a lot is because of two words that he had uses. I told him that I did listen and I repeat of what he said ealier. He respond, "At least there's a hope for you."

Here's another one, when I got myself an offer for an internship. I was thrilled. I told him that I got it. He looked at me and said, "That's an offer. You didn't get the internship." I said, "If I respond, 'yes' then I would have an internship." He looked at me, "You're stupid than I thought." Confused and bewilderment, I went to career center to see my career counselor and asked him do I have an internship or not? He said that I do have it and in fact, he did went to contact to that postion thru the phone and ask them. So I really do have an internship and I was thrill about that. My career counselor said, "whoever said that to you is sound like VERY jealous of you. Don't let that person put you down." He wrote the quote from Elenor Rooselvelt (sp?) "Do not let anyone put you down unless you let them." paraphasing again. I thought that can't be true that my ex is jealous of me. So, I decided to approach him with cool and calm. I said that I went to career counselor and I do have internship for real. He said, "conglatation" (sp?). Then I tried to tell him that I didn't apprecate ealier that he mention that it's an offer and didn't get the internship. He said, "I don't know what you are talking about." I replied, "okay, but don't do that next time, anyway." He brought this up, "Let's talk about past, I know that you love talk about past." I looked at him, "Are you so sure that's where you want to go?" He realized what he had said then, "Never mind, let's go." I grinned. He and I went out. While he locked the door, "You are pest, ya know that?" I asked, "Can you explain how can I be pest?" He thought for a moment, "I don't know, you just ARE!" I smiled, "If you can't explain that I'm a pest; therefore, I'm NOT a pest." He gave me a sharp looked, "If you going to make me upset, then it's your fault!" He walked off. We went to meet his friends. There is one of his friend who also backed him up for about it's an offer and not internship. I decided to tell his friends that it's not just an offer, I really did got the internship and they're ready for me to come. So, I did. His friend said "congraltations" (sp?). I was going to tell his friend that I didn't apprecate of what happen ealier. Instead, my EX interprut and said, "that's not important, I saw really cool movie ealier on TV!" he was busy to think what's the name of the movie. I interpruted, "That's not important." He stopped and looked at me then walked off. I ran up to him and grab his shoulder. I wanted to try to explain that what I want to say is important as much as yours. And I feel that you doesn't respect me nor listen to me. Instead, he turned around, "Don't touch me or I'm calling security!" He continued to walk off. I left, too. His friends are on his side and never heard of my side of the story. Truth is, I didn't care anymore. I already got tired of him. My love for him was gone. I do mean completely gone. I was surprised that the fire of love has blown away quickly as the love comes in when I first met him. I thought that my love will never fade away but it did disappear like it never exist. However, the memory will stay and the lesson that I've learned will never leave.

Well, seem like I went off the subject.... Well, it's still relate to counselor, right? Haha, sorry, Get back to my point here. Why do most men thinks it has to "Be a man!"? Well, few reasons, it has been like that for generations. That's how men taught boys to "be a man." The cartoon Disney movie "Pocantatcs" (sp?) about indian woman who met white man. There's a leader who said to young boy, "A man is not a man, if he doesn't know how to shoot." So that's how they put down to others when emotional shows and refuse to shows the outside and afraid to be weak. Well, again, Elenor Roosevelt(sp?), "Don't let others put you down unless you let them." paraphasing as usual. Be the REAL you! Even it means to show your emotional. Don't wear mask, it's really wear your energy out.

Be ready for a long poem:
Don't be fooled by me Don't be fooled by the face I wear. I wear a mask. I wear a thousands masks--masks that I am afraid to take off; and none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that is second nature to me, but don't be fooled.
For God's sake, don't be fooled. I give the impression that I am secure, that all is sunny and unruffled within me as well as without; that confidence is my name and coolness my game; that the water is calm and I am in command' and that I need no one. But don't believe me, please. My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask, my ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.

Beneath lies no smugness, no complacency. Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness. But I hide that. I don't want anybody to know it. I frantically create a mask to hide behind~ a nonchalant, sophisticated facade~ to help me pretend, to shield me from the glace that knows. But such a glace is precisely my salvation, my only salvation, and I know it. That is , if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love. It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself from my own self built prison wall, from the barriers I so painstakingly erect. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself--that I am really something.

But I didn't tell you this. I don't dare. I'm afraid to. I'm afraid your glace will not be followed by acceptance and love. I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me; So I play my game, my desparate, pretending game, with a facde of assurance without, and a trembling child within.

And so begins the parade of masks, the glittering but empty parade of masks. My life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everthing that is nothing and nothing that is everthing of what's crying inside me.
So when I'm going through my routine, do not be fooled by what I am saying.

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying, what I would like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say, but I can't say. I dislike hiding, honestly, I dislike the superficial game I am playing, the superficial phony I am being I'd like to be really genuine and spontaneous and me. But you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand even when that's the last thing I seem to want or need. Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, very feeble wings-- but wings.

With your sensitivity and compassion and your power of understanding, you can breath life into me. I want you to know that I want you to know how imporant you are to me. So do not pass me by. Please do not pass me by. It will not be easy for you. My long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. The nearer you approach the more blindly I might strike back. It's irrational, but despite what books say about a person. I am irrational. I gight against the very thing I cry out for. But I am told that love is stronger than the strongest walls, and in this lies hope. MY ONLY HOPE. Please try to beat down my wall with firm but gentle hands--for a child is very sensitive, very fearful.

Who am I, you may wonder? I am someon you know very well.
FOR I AM EVERY MAN YOU MEET. I AM EVERY WOMAN YOU MEET. I AM RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

~Anoymous~