Apology from professor

One of my friend got an apology from work, that reminds me someone did apology to me. Something that did impact on me.

For long time, since I've been elementary throughout to college. Some teachers didn't think I would make it throughout all schools. Even one teacher label me metal retarded. I've been struggle to prove every teachers, that I met, were wrong. Some didn't think I would make it through Middle School. Some didn't think I would make it through High School. Heck! Even some teachers didn't think I would graduate High School and would be able to get in college. Even some teachers think I wouldn't make it through college. It really does hurt me when some teachers weren't being supportive (some are A.H., pardon my language).

My last year in college, I bumped into one of my previous professor. This professor is usually says hi to me everytime he/she saw me. He/she did stop me from going to the next class and want to talk to me breifly. I listened. He/she said that it was wrong of him/her misjudge me and assume that I wouldn't make it through college. He/she was impress that I maintain my goal and wouldn't give up. He/she mention that he/she's sorry about that. Also, that he/she was sorry that he/she wasn't being supportive. He/she said need to go to class and wishes me a good luck. I was just stood there stunned and shock. Afterward, I cried. That's the first time I heard from someone who apology to me for misjudging me.

It has been long time since I've been put up with discrimination and being bullied not by students but by the teachers. I never thought in my bewilderment dream one of the whole teachers would be willing to stand and admit his/her mistake. That's rare and it was nicest thing I ever heard for a long time.

I'm glad that I'm be able to prove to teachers wrong by refuse to listen to them.

Key thing for to learn: Listen to someone you know that you can trust. Someone you know that will be very supportive and understand your situation. Listen to someone who understand your past and present and be there for the future and still support for who you are. Someone who knows your craps and still loves you the way you are.

Do not listen for those who isn't being supportive. For those who wouldn't be there. For those who refuse to be there by knowing or think that you would make a mistake that would cause them to be embarrassing. (Truth is you are embarrassing yourself, you can't embarrassing anyone else.) But someone just being there for you and support you throughout your embarrassing moment is a true person that you can trust.

What's the point?

I've been feeling that way sometimes since I was in college. Once in a while, I've been thinking after I've been achieving my goal whatever it is.

Path 1: married, job, then kids

Path 2: Job to job then married

Path 3: College to job, to college, to job then married with kids

Path 4: Job to job then married

Path 5: Job to job then pets

The whole point is that after I've achieve my goal. I can't help but thinking what's next? Is that all? What's the point?

The answer is by the time when I get to the old age and look back. All those experiences will create of my personality and able to see who am I.

I already know who am I. Even something new, I know I can challenge and those challenge can be rewarding experience. So, what's next?

To have kids or not to have kids. It doesn't matter. What's next? Yes, we will have the experience of growing pain. And in teen year of pain in the a$$. Again, those are rewarding experience for every parents, every child and every grandchildren. Okay, Is that all??

So, what's the point? Everybody have different answer and different point of view of their life meaning. Everybody have their own personal reasons and have a reason to live on earth. Not everyone knows their reason. Not everbody knows their purpose.

Others would say to be here to give the witness of spiritual belief (whatever it is, It doesn't matter.) Everybody have different spiritual paths. No one is alike. Even some who doesn't have spiritual life and doesn't believe in God. They still live here on earth. So why are they living here on Earth?

Other answer, just to be happy for no reason and life your live. The whole point of being here is just live your life. That's all.

Okay. What's the point of being here on Earth? Nobody knows or somebody does know but in their own path. Everybody's path are different.

Sometimes, I see pointless to live here on Earth; however, I would not endanger my life. If my life is complete and life fulfillment, then I should die by now. I'm not. I'm still young and still have future. So just keep on going?

Again, What's the point? *sigh*

I know I do not have a purpose but will I find one? (People respond is usually, yes.)

P.S. Don't mention the J.C. word.

A sunny weekend!

Oh boy! This weekend would be warm and sunny!

The pool is ready and we are ready to jump in. *grin* I do miss swimming. I've been anxious and patiencely waiting for the summer to come. But I know I do dread when it is way too hot. At least, we have to pool to help us to cool off.

There is downtown setting up more new stores and restuarants. I'm looking forward for that, too. I miss city sometimes but I do enjoy out in the country, too.

Update about my finger:
It's getting better. I can see the cut is getting smaller and smaller. The bruise on my nail is getting brown. I still feel the sore. However, I notice my nail has a crack. I look closer and I realize half of my nail is tring to come off. Argh. Sound too painful to think about it. I'm going have to be extra careful with my fingernail. I hate the idea of being girly-girl when comes to fingernail "I broke my nail" Notice how the girls always so careful with their nails seem doesn't fit for my personality. Who cares!? But this time I do care. I don't want my nail being peel off with the skin.

Anyway, I hope everybody enjoys your weekend!

My poor finger

:-(

I hit it with the very sharp metal in the garage, yesterday. Now I'm using 9 fingers while I'm typing this. My index finger had been big deep cut nearby my fingernail. I thought I cut my fingernail but it is just right above it. I even have blue-ish color on my fingernail.

Man! It was that painful! I dunno how long it will heal but I know it is very sore.

What a Day!

Oh boy,

Almost a year ago, when my parents and I moved to Texas, we live in a medium size house. Previous house was large, so we have to get rid of many stuffs that we don't need and left in the garage. We have been busy re-organize and cleaning the house the way we like. We almost finished the house. There are several things that we haven't done yet. I didn't realize that it would take long time to do things the way we like in the house.

Anway, we been cleaning and re-organize in the garage. We were hoping to do the garage-sale this coming weekend. It was wearing me out. We did so much today since the weather is very nice and a bit chilly. I was pooped and I went to bed to rest in the evening. I got knocked out the moment I was in the bed. That's when my mom woke me up in about an hour later. We out out to eat for dinner.

Oh!! I almost forgotten. GREAT news for me! Been long time since I went to cheesecake factor restaurant. Last time I went it was several years ago back in Washington DC. We have one here in Texas. Whoo-hoo! We never had in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Gergoria. Some of the painting there are similar as in Washington D.C. It sure brings back some good memories.

I'm going to be very busy this week and next week so I may not be online for a while.

Nitie-Night :-)

Addictive

I never got drunk and use drugs. However, I did drink alcohol once in a while. Sometimes I drink Pina Cola (sp?) and wine on special occasion. I am very curious person but not enough curious to try to use drugs or get drunk. I have met some people who are drugs addicts and alcoholic.

I went out with one guy who had been using drugs and still using it. He admitted that to me and asked me if I have a problem with that. (I didn’t respond but my first in my mind did he left any drugs in the car?? While I was riding with him?? I sure am glad that the police didn’t pull us over. Chances are that I could be ended up in jail even I did not use drugs or didn’t know that he has drugs in the car. I still can go to jail as equal as him.) I told him that this is his life and I have no right to tell him what to do and what he can’t do. I asked him if he already know that the drugs can be very harmful and he heard the usual lectures. He said yes. So what’s the point for me to lecture on him for he already knew that? Then he said that he would like to have a relationship with him. I told him no. He asked why. My respond I do not want to have a relationship with someone who using drugs. He respected and left. I’m impressed. He had made his choice to continue to destroy his life. There’s nothing I can do.

I already knew that I do have addictive personality. That’s why I stay away. Also, most of my family is alcoholic. I never got drunk or use drugs; however, why do I feel the craving to drink alcohol? There are certain times when I felt craving for it. Just to drink alcohol. It is usually when I felt so stress. When I do felt stress, I do want to drink alcohol and feel like that alcohol would make me feel better. I find it interesting. I know what alcohol can do and it will make it worst. It would not make it better. I have witness through my family and couple of friends that I know who are alcoholic.

I admit that I am concern what if I fall through the cracks and becoming alcoholic and/or using drugs. I am well-aware of that I am strong woman but even strong woman can fall through the cracks sometimes. We are humans. It could happen to anyone and it could happen to me. Part of me is hoping that I would never fall through the cracks.

If I did fall through the cracks, deep down I know I can fight it. I know I can face this with the help from the hotline or to group counselor at special place. I know there will be people out there can give support and encouragement. I know I would be able to find a way to keep on living and resist the craving. Just that I hope that I would never face that direction for rest of my life because I know it would not be easy.

Quote of the day: To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man's injustice to woman. If by strength is meant brute strength, then, indeed, is woman less brute than man. If by strength is meant moral power, then woman is immeasurably man's superior. Has she not greater intuition, is she not more self-sacrificing, has she not greater powers of endurance, has she not greater courage? Without her, man could not be. If nonviolence is the law of our being, the future is with woman. Who can make a more effective appeal to the heart than woman? ~Mohandas Gandhi~

Butterfingers

I do not talk about candy bar.

Me and my butterfingers,

That's what my mother always called me every time I made my clumsiness. I hate that when it happens. That’s what it called every time something slips out of my fingers like they were greasy fingers.

Today must have been my unlucky day. I dropped my keys, bowl, lunch, and spill drinks. My mom said must be your butterfingers' day. I shot at my mom a look. She laughed. My respond, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. I feel like a little bit of teenager.

What can I said? That's my pet peeves, one day I’m fine and handle gracefully then next day my clumsiness showed up and everything’s falls apart on me. Pppfftttt.

We are humans. We make mistakes. We did things and wish we could go back. We accident dropped or spilled something every once in awhile. That’s what the gravity is for. If there isn’t gravity then we don’t have to worry about our clumsy. Haha. I always am wondering what it is like floating in the space and pour a drink in the air. Let the balls of soda floating around. You don’t have to clean up the mess. Hahaha. I think it would be cool to be flying in space for a day.

Don't you?

Quote of the day: Love gives us the stregth to make sacrifices, to give, to encourage, to connect and to be compassionate. ~Author Unknown~

Sunset

Yesterday and today was so hot so I left to take my dog to walk a little bit late since it is cooler.

I'm so glad that I have t-mobile SideKick 2. I can take advantage to take some pictures.

This is the first picture that I take as I was walking. The sun was so bright but it is setting. I decided to wait a little while. I continue to walk.

Then I walked back to take almost same spot where I took the first picture.

This is the second pictures. Sun is setting down deep. Isn't this beautiful? I think it is gorgeous sunset.

I heard that sunset and the sunrising are the same. I beg the different. Sunset is more relaxing and the sunrising is more energy. I'm talking about when sunrising that when you are awake and alert. Sunset makes me feel relax and unwinding because you know that the day is over.

The sun is going and going and gone. The light is still bright but soon the darkness will come.

I like the sunset the best than sunrising. Like I said, you know when the sun is gone and it would feel relaxing. I enjoy watching sunset almost everyday. It's amazing. Beautiful colors that painted in the sky.

Enjoyed!