Addictive

I never got drunk and use drugs. However, I did drink alcohol once in a while. Sometimes I drink Pina Cola (sp?) and wine on special occasion. I am very curious person but not enough curious to try to use drugs or get drunk. I have met some people who are drugs addicts and alcoholic.

I went out with one guy who had been using drugs and still using it. He admitted that to me and asked me if I have a problem with that. (I didn’t respond but my first in my mind did he left any drugs in the car?? While I was riding with him?? I sure am glad that the police didn’t pull us over. Chances are that I could be ended up in jail even I did not use drugs or didn’t know that he has drugs in the car. I still can go to jail as equal as him.) I told him that this is his life and I have no right to tell him what to do and what he can’t do. I asked him if he already know that the drugs can be very harmful and he heard the usual lectures. He said yes. So what’s the point for me to lecture on him for he already knew that? Then he said that he would like to have a relationship with him. I told him no. He asked why. My respond I do not want to have a relationship with someone who using drugs. He respected and left. I’m impressed. He had made his choice to continue to destroy his life. There’s nothing I can do.

I already knew that I do have addictive personality. That’s why I stay away. Also, most of my family is alcoholic. I never got drunk or use drugs; however, why do I feel the craving to drink alcohol? There are certain times when I felt craving for it. Just to drink alcohol. It is usually when I felt so stress. When I do felt stress, I do want to drink alcohol and feel like that alcohol would make me feel better. I find it interesting. I know what alcohol can do and it will make it worst. It would not make it better. I have witness through my family and couple of friends that I know who are alcoholic.

I admit that I am concern what if I fall through the cracks and becoming alcoholic and/or using drugs. I am well-aware of that I am strong woman but even strong woman can fall through the cracks sometimes. We are humans. It could happen to anyone and it could happen to me. Part of me is hoping that I would never fall through the cracks.

If I did fall through the cracks, deep down I know I can fight it. I know I can face this with the help from the hotline or to group counselor at special place. I know there will be people out there can give support and encouragement. I know I would be able to find a way to keep on living and resist the craving. Just that I hope that I would never face that direction for rest of my life because I know it would not be easy.

Quote of the day: To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man's injustice to woman. If by strength is meant brute strength, then, indeed, is woman less brute than man. If by strength is meant moral power, then woman is immeasurably man's superior. Has she not greater intuition, is she not more self-sacrificing, has she not greater powers of endurance, has she not greater courage? Without her, man could not be. If nonviolence is the law of our being, the future is with woman. Who can make a more effective appeal to the heart than woman? ~Mohandas Gandhi~