A letter from God...

Crystal’s Note: I stumbled across this letter in a magazine. I couldn’t agree with it more. I believe if God could speak to all humankind at once, especially during these troubled times of terrorism and war, this is exactly the message we would all receive.

Yes, this letter was written by a mortal man - an intelligent one at that because it sure makes a whole lot of sense!

So please, read the letter, with your mind and heart open, and think about it…and try to make the best out of the precious time you have here on Earth. ~Crystal

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An Impatient Letter to All of Us

from God March/April 1998

My Dear Children (and believe me, that’s all of you),

I consider myself a pretty patient guy. I mean, look at the Grand Canyon. It took millions of years to get it right. And I’ve been patient through your fashions, civilizations, wars and schemes, and the countless ways you take me for granted until you get yourselves into big trouble again and again.

But on this occasion of my son’s 1,989th birthday, I wanted to tell you about some things that are starting to tick me off.

First of all, your religious rivalries are driving me up a wall. Enough already! Every religion claims there’s only one of me - which, by the way is absolutely true. But in the very next breath, each religion claims it’s my favorite one. And each claims its bible was the only one written personally by me.

Let’s get one thing straight: These are your religions, not mine. I’m the Whole Enchilada: the Spirit beyond them all. I’m your Father and Mother, and I don’t play favorites among my children. Also, I hate to break it to you, but I don’t write. My longhand is awful, and I’ve always been more of a “doer” anyway. So all your books, including the bibles, were written by inspired, remarkable people, but they also made mistakes here and there. I made sure of that. You see, I want you to trust your own inner connection with me more than anything else. Holy books are sacred and powerful, but they were only meant to steer you inside yourself, not to keep you arguing with each other. One human being to me - even a bum on the street - is worth more than all the holy books in the world. That’s just the kind of guy I am. My Spirit is not an historical thing. It’s alive right here, right now, as fresh as your next breath.

Which brings me to your next nonsense: You act like I need you and your religions to stick up for me or “win souls” for my sake. Please, don’t do me any favors. I can stand quite well on my own, thank you.

And another thing: I don’t get all worked up over money or politics, so stop dragging my name into your dramas. For example, I never threatened Oral Roberts. I never rode in any of Rajneesh’s Rolls Royces. I never told Pat Robertson to run for president, and I’ve never had a conversation with Jim Bakker or Jerry Falwell! Of course, come Judgement Day, I certainly intend to…

The thing is, I want you to stop thinking of religion as some sort of loyalty pledge to me. The true purpose of religion is for you to become more aware of me, not the other way around. Believe me, I know you already. I know what’s in each of your hearts, and I love you with no strings attached. Lighten up and enjoy me. That’s what religion is for.

What you seem to forget is how mysterious I am. You look at the petty differences in your scriptures and say, “Well, if this is the truth, then that can’t be!” But instead of trying to figure out my paradoxes and subtleties - which, by the way, you never will - why not focus on the simple unarguable fundamentals?

You know what I’m talking about: love and respect everyone. Be kind. Even when life is scary or confusing, take courage, for I am always with you. Learn how to be quiet, so you can hear my still, small voice (I don’t like to shout). Leave the world a better place by living with dignity and gracefulness. Hold back nothing from life, for the parts of you that can die will surely die, and the parts that can’t, won’t.

Simple stuff. Why do you keep making it so complicated? Do you think I care whether you call me Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah, Brahma, Father, Mother, The Void or Nirvana? Do you think I care which of my special children you feel closest to - Jesus, Mary, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed or any of the others? They all live in one place (my heart) and they get along perfectly, I assure you. Stop creating a myth of sibling rivalry where there is none. Just go about my business of loving one another as I love you. How can you keep forgetting something so simple?

You don’t have to abandon your religions or combine them into One Big Mess. Enjoy your religions, honor them, learn from them, just as you should enjoy, honor, and learn from your parents. But do you walk around telling everyone that your parents are better than theirs? Like your parents, your religion may always have a special place in your heart; I don’t mind that at all. And each religion is unique for a reason. Each approaches my great mystery in its own way. But religions are not football teams, so please drop your childish “We’re #1″ attitude!

The world has grown too small for religious narcissism. The whole planet is connected by air travel, satellite dishes, telephones, fax machines, diseases, rock concerts, and mutual needs and concerns. Get with it! If you really want to celebrate the birthday of my son Jesus, then begin figuring out how to feed your hungry, clothe your poor, and shelter your homeless. Just as important, make your own everyday life a shining example of kindness and good humor. I’ve given you all the resources you need, if only you abandon your fear of each other and begin living, loving, and laughing together.

As I love Him, so do I love each of you. I’m not really ticked off. I just wanted to grab your attention because I hate to see you suffer. After giving you free will, what can I do now, other than to try to influence you though reason, persuasion, and a little manipulative guilt? After all, I am the original Jewish mother. I just want you to be happy.

Your One and Only,
God

Written by Bo Lozoff.

Bo Lozoff is a writer/songwriter and director of the Human Kindness Foundation in Durham, North Carolina. The Foundation’s major program, the Prison Ashram Project, works with prisoners and prison staff in more than 40 counties. Mr. Lozoff’s books include We’re All Doing Time , Inner Corrections.

Neighbor rumors

Well, accoeding to little girl who spoke to the neighbor and that neighbor spoke to my mom. This sweet girl said that the court had decided to make her parent into divorce. If they refuse, the court will take the kids away. Once they divorce, the kids will stay with her mom.

She also mention that her dad just beat her mom. She meant earlier, today. No wonder I saw her mother is trying to cover herself this afternoon. Not only that, her father did drove away I dunno if he had came back or not. It is truly sad.

Speaking of neighbor, there is several houses next to us, where the house is totally empty belongs to somebody from Calforina. It has been 3 years since my parent and I lived here. The lady did came to stop by doing some cleaning and check on the house.

Until few weeks ago, they put up a rental sign. However, it is not cheap. I'm the one who check that out. Guilt! I thought it wld be neat to live next to my parent. The price is 2,000 dollars a month and unilities are not included. Wow! Was first thought in my mind. Never mind that.

*sigh* I wish my boss's boss would give me more hours to work. Lately I'm off. I only work on weekends. Well, I'm free, today. However, I look at my schedule, it is still blank. They just call me in last minutes for those who doesn't show up for work.

Truth is, even my off days, I search and apply other job but so far, nothing. I realize, one friend of mine thru facebook. She mention that she still searching for a job. She had graduated same as my other friend. Lucky, my other friend had a job while she doesn't. It must be frustrated for her. She even mention about consdering start herself a business. I laughed when I read that. Don't we all??

I admit that I did had my manic depression. Mainly because I hate working there and sooo cheap pay, I barely can pay my own bills and pay my parent of what I owe. I'm completely broke at this point until next payday. However, I don't think it wld be enough. My mom convience me to take prozac (that was several months ago before Amy had died). I did take it everyday. Once in a while, I missed but I managed to keep it up.

Prozac is truly helpful. It helps me to keep on going and less cranky; however, I still hate my work. I'm just so disappointed when I couldn't find anything else espeically the pay hours are sooo cheap.

Speaking of business, I did took my time to read about it. First, are you good at organizing? Guilt, I'm not. Procancasting can cuase buisness go down. Again, I'm the guilt. Are you highly moviating? Yes, I am. I know my weakness. Could I overcome my weakness?? If I am determined enough, yes I can. Are you self-starter? I have no idea if I am.

Mmmm, I better go. I still have a lot to think about.

Intense Dreams

I had intense dream last night. Amy's alive and I was in hopstial standing by her side. She had breathing tube as I was standing and wondering if she's going to be dead or alive. She woke up and was shock to see me then she gave me a long hug and a long kiss. *sigh*

Beloved

Beloved

I have traveled long and far
In search of that which had no name;
Along life's road I lost my way
And eluded me
Though the long and endless nights

Many dreams were shattered;
There had been much betrayal
And I was weary from the trying
I did not know how much was beyound my ken

I thought I knew the face of love
Though I had never seen it
Now felt it touch my heart
Until the fateful day
When We first met

Now I can say I know love's song
It's dance and every taste
I know it's face
For I have held it in my hands.
It's name is yours

~written by Amy K.~

That poem was written for me by the one who I loved. There are several other poems that I kept; however, this one is my favorite. I know Amy prefer not to share in public but I had to. It shows how much she loves me as much as I love her. No one ever wrote me a poem. No one ever surprised me when I came out of shower there are several candles lighted up. I stood there with awe as my eyes followed to Amy and she stood and lean against the wall as she's study my body language. That touches my heart. No one ever done that for me.

She brought me a flowers and putting on dinning table as we ate together in apartment. When she and I kissed, there's no tongue involve. However, our lips were barely touches each other, it was like our soul were kissing as we entwined together. Her kiss did swept my feet off for real. No one ever swept my feet but her. Every time, we kiss, it was like always a first kiss.

Amy told me that she felt the same. In fact, she told me that she had kissed several other females before and she said that they wasn't best kisser as I am. I didn't know that for I never kissed any other females before. She's my first and my first true love.

When people mention they know if that person is the right one is dreamed of that person. When my former bf told me that he dreamt of me and asked me if I did. My respond no. Of course, he was disappointed. Later I realize I wasn't really loved him.

Amy is the one who I dream of, several times. It is same for Amy when she dreamed of me. Sometimes her dream and mine are sooo intense, it almost like she is there next to me and same with Amy. I realize that I really do love her a lot... More than she ever know.

And I'm sure it is same for her...

no title this time

*sigh* I contact my 2nd mom, apperarly(sp) she doesn't understand about my situation with Amy. Oh well.

Anyway, I did spoke to my dad and 2nd mom about their prespective of me building a certain buisness something that I had in my mind. They both said that it is unrealistic. *sigh* I guess they're right about that.

I have been crying the last two night and I did cried at work. I'm surprised no one seems to notice nor say anything about it. Maybe they just didn't care or didn't really pay attention. Don't matter. I'm just glad that I do not have to say anything. I managed to keep up with my work. I admit that I almost want to leave but I managed to keep on going and focus my work.

Well, I'm actually free this week; however, I would not be surprised if I wld be contact last minute for work, again.

Missing Amy K.

I know this isn't cheerful moments. I missed her big time. I wished she didn't died. I justed finished read the last msg that she send to me on March 6th. She did mention that she's getting sick again and see doctor next day and possible stay in hopstial. That isn't first time she mention because she usually in and out due to her genetic diease. I didn't hear from her until John told me about Amy. My heart just sink and prayed that isn't true.

Like I said, I wished she lived few more years. Just to see her one more time. I also wish this isn't refleuction(sp, opposite for Great Depression) since prices were high, we did mention about wait it out or go some places that is in USA, something cheaper for this summer. Now I do not had my chance. I know I should look at bright side that I was able to see her before she died but it is still not the same thing.

*sigh* I'm still hang in there. Just sad and disappointed. That's all.

Amy K. part 2

I got email from John at 7:21am. Today, they will bury Amy. I figured that John is there and Amy's parent paid John and Nicholas. Funny thing is that, he also said that he hope that I forgive and forget the past. When I looked back to this day, I realize. That is his most common comments "forgive and forget" but never once apology for his action nor behavior. Not once mention that was his fault and realize that and willing to make improvement. Sad but true.

I couldn't keep in touch with John. According to what I read nbr 1 best way to have closure is "No Contact" for NPD is damn good at sucking other people espeically when it comes to pity. Deep down I know John will find a way to draw me into relationship. Once contact then it will be a point of no return. I know about John's son. However if John's 2 daughters had managed to survive living with John. I'm sure Nicholas will be.

If Amy had survive through her mother for she also has NPD. And she managed to survive thru John's NPD. It same for everybody else weather we like it or not. We just have to accept and move on. Let the worries and burden onto God's hands.

It is same for me, I managed to survive through domanastic volience. We all are survival one way or another.

Like I said, I didn't respond back to John. However, if he keep on emailing me then a very good chance I wld change my email address that including my pager. I will keep on updating to people I know for those who I only contact to.

Wait and see...

R.I.P. Amy M. K.

(I dunno how long is this but possible very long blong) How did I first met her?

I met her through my boyfriend, John. (Who is now my ex). It was at night during winter. I couldn't remember which month but I do remember it was snowing. Amy and I talk many different things for several hours, almost all night. My first impressions are smart, outgoing and scarcastic. She certain has a way with her words. Something about her spark my interest.

However, the story I hear from Amy, she said that she first saw me when I was in HMB building as I walk pass her, she couldn't help but want to look at my behind. So she did. Her first thought was I am way out of her league. Also, she watches me when I'm at cafeteria. First thing she sees me as straight.

Well, even though I act straight and wear female outfit and attract to males, part of me is very curious. I did had my first crush on christian female friend. I never said a word and minding my own business. I act causual like it is nothing.

That christian female friend of mine is married and have children.

Anyway, back to that story...

After a while, Amy want to set up as a group for all of us go together to Six Flags. Something had came up, people changed their mind and would not go. Amy seem very disappointed. I tried to cheer her up by coming over and ask her why not we just go ahead and go. She seem isn't in the mood.

Later I found out that, Amy trying to have a date with me but going out in a group. It is more of discreet way. I didn't know that what Amy was trying to do. So she tried to come up with other way. However, there isn't other way.

Finally, Jan 1st, Amy contact me through IM, she confessed that she had a crush on me. I wasn't expect that. I thought she wasn't interesting in me since she did avoiding me, sometimes.

I was surprised and she shared some poems with me that she wrote for me that she did wrote during time we were together.

John had really interfere a lot of ways. For one, John had said something that he thinks that would happen, so I talk to Amy and I discover it isn't true. It happens often in different situtations. John would twist in every way.

At the end, I broke up with John but I made him thinks that he's breaking up with me. I let him have his last words. He always have a last words.

After awhile, Amy got into coma and forgot everything had happened between me and Amy plus she forgotten her family. As usual, John didn't tell me that Amy still remeber me and John but does not remember her parent and rest of her family. John left out the part that Amy remebers me. Anyway, I thought that was it. It was the end. I thought it was fate. So I did not come back. I left.

After long time, I still kept thinking of Amy. I managed to push aside. It has been long time. I finally decided to contact Amy, again. We finally had been clear up a lot of misunderstanding and it was really John cuz this first place.

What's done is done but I do not have regrets. I'm glad that I had a chance to contact her and clear up. She and I are becoming best friends.

We did plan to have vacation to get together but sadly Amy have to leave and go to heaven. Her lungs are collesping.

Part of me is hoping that isn't true. Part of me is hoping that is just overreacting. So I contact few of my friends then I contact my 2nd mom. Finally, I decided to contact hopstial. Turn out, it wasn't overreacting. Since my money is limited plus I do not feel comfortable going alone. However, I was desperate to go from Texas to Minn.

I decided to contact 3 male friends (lucky, they are single and 2 are open-minded). Reason why is that I do not want John try to..... Ummm get me back, again or draw me into relationship with him. I know 2 male friends of mine would get along and act like they are my boyfriends or like a relationship, just to cover up. It is best way to prevent from.... John... I don't want to be around him alone. Sadly, they can't.

So I went ahead and contact a good friend of mine from Missiouri. When she said, yes. I was relieved and thrill. So I quickly contact my job to have someone to cover me. I was told to call next day. I dislike that. Instead, I went ahead and called several hours later, trun out, they have it cover. Again, I was relieved. I was very anixious. It is possible they will remove the breathing support on Thursday or Friday. So I want to be there by Wedensday, hopefully to be alone with her or something like that.

Wed, March 19th. I called hopstial and talk to Amy's mother. She said that they will disconnect the tube tonight. My first thought, I hope to be there before they do that. The early flight is 2 30pm... I arrived 4 45pm. I decided to tell Amy's mother, that I will arrive airport at 5pm. Part of me glad that I did cuz that gave me alittle bit more time. I got on shuttle on way to hotel that is near hosptial. My friend was driving to Minn. Some people find hard to believe that she is driving. Well, I think it is much cheaper than flight. Since mine is 500 dollars plus tax. It is rather expensive but not bad for last minutes. I was glad that my parent were willing to pay as long as I pay back because at first, they were not but when I mention that I will pay back then they will buy the plane ticket.

I couldn't sleep since Monday night and I barely eat much since I was on emotional. Part of me am glad that I'm taking prozac otherwise I might not be able to do anything. When I was on shuttle and it is close to 5 30pm. I called the hotel to double check that they reserved the room plus it have to be at least 10 minutes request for shuttle of half hour to one hour. My first thought I want to leave by 5 30 but I think it was too soon. So I did request for 6pm. Turn out I arrived at hotel 535pm. I knew that wasn't enough time. Meanwhile, I contact my friend to see where she was at. She said she should be there abt 15 minutes or so.

What's funny part? My friend told me that she arrived at hotel. So I came down at the evelator turn out she came up 3rd floor. Somehow, we missed each other as we continue contace as "where are you, now". I laughed when I found out that she's on 3rd floor then I turn around and came up while she told me that she will stay on 3rd floor. I was relieved and not so nervous anymore when I saw her. We chat breifly then on way to hopstial. Thank goodness for shuttle from hotel to hosptial. It certain save time of where should park and driving around to find hopstial, too. That really makes a differences. We arrived. I know my friend doesn't know Amy or anyone. I figured she might feel comfortable staying in family/waiting room. So I asked her if she want to stay. She said yes. I'm glad that she is there because when I'm in the room where family, John, and Amy, back of my head I know my friend is in the waiting room. I feel comfortable knowing she is there nearby.

My first saw was John. He hugged me then hold me. He started to cry. My first thought, who cares... I'm here for Amy, not John. I just being polite and ask how's going and etc. Finally, I ask can I see Amy? I was really anixious to see her. Back of my mind, I remind myself that Amy is on heavy medication and that she may not reconzed or still asleep. John and I walked down the hallway and chatting about Amy's situation. We stop at the curtian that half open and light is off. The only light that shine is from hallway. I saw family but I haven't see Amy. As John continue chatting, I saw alittle boy come up to me twice. By the third time, he approach me again, then walk back to the room. John asked, did you know that is Nicholas? My respond, I saw him in picture, is that him? John got Nicholas and we were being introduce. I saw a beautiful blue eyes. We were litterally looked into our eyes. That is Amy's son. I asked him, "may I have a hug?" He quickly gave me hug and then walk back to the room. John gave me yellow paper thing that covers our chest and down to knee. John is also put himself on. The moment we walk in the room, I quickly took my deep breath as I tried to fight my emotional back. John introduce me with Amy's parent, aunt, sisters and interpreter. I know one of her sister is blind since she has Usher Syndome. I spoke hi with her name. She nodded. Finally, I saw Sharon. John's wife. I have met her couple times. I came up to her and hugged her.

Finally, I approach to Amy which she lay on bed with breathing tube. Her eyes are half open. I was speechless. She doesn't look good. I stood nearby and hold her cold hand. John approach me and told me that she can't see due to heavy medication since her eyesights are blur. However, he told that that I can speak to her in her ear. So I did, "hey Amy, this is Crystal... This is Crystal, I'm here." She nodded. My heart just jumped. I told her, "I care and I love you." couple times. I sat on extra chair just like everyone else sitting. John told me that it felt right that he and I were there. I admit that I was kinda surprised to hear that from him.

I found out they will remove the breathing tube around 7pm. Because next step will be life support; however, several days ago, she made it clear that she doesn't want life support. So, they have to go ahead and remove the breathing tube.

So now, we are saying "good-byes". We are taking turn. First parents, sisters, aunts, John then me... Last is Sharon and Nicholas. I did said, "good-bye and I will see you soon." What I meant is that I know I will see her someday weather I die old or by car accident but I know I will see her again.
When mother explain to Amy that nurses will remove the breathing tube. She idmently grab the tube and try to pull it out herself. Her mother told her to be patience and let nurses do that for you.

John told me that Amy had tried to remove that tube, yesterday. Something tells me that she is ready to die.

We came out in hall. I went to waiting room and letting my friend know. After a while, Sharon came and got me. I told Sharon, "thank you for getting me." She nodded. I arrived, they were waiting in hallway. I spotted John's youngest daughter in her 20's. She was surprised to see me. I just nod and wait.

I saw nurses in Amy room. I figure that they give her medication and remove the tube. That medication is to prevent from feeling any pains.

They left then we all came back in. Amy is breathing on her own alittle bit for a while. Part of me is hoping that she's able to continue to breath on her own; however, her last breath, I saw her face turn to pale and her lips turn to gray. It only take a second. Next thing I saw, at least I think I see it, a smoke or fog-like is right above amy's body. I blink then it is gone. Again it take only split seconds. I was crying, others were crying. Amy's mother and other family are close by with Amy. I was pretty much in distance. Amy's mother left her position. I quickly went over just to be close to Amy. Deep down I knew Amy is watching us. John is manage to go to closeby Amy on other side of bed across from me. We both looked at Amy as we saying good byes. I notice her aunt didn't like that but I ingore her. Few moments, I notice Amy's mother came back and standing behind me. Then I back off and gave her postion back. That was my plan is to give her postion back. John gave me a look with puzzle. I told him, she's a mother. I know my mom want to be nearby if that happen to me, too. John respond, "understood."

Everybody was hugging but me. I was crying plus somewhat left out. Unexpectly, John's daughter pulled me for a hug. I was surprised because she seems didn't like me and basically she ingored me when I first met her. She tried hog all attention to John. I just back off and let her because I know that she is daughter and he is father. She was kinda rude. However, this time the situtation was different. We all have group hugged then invdiual hugs. Finally, everyone and I join hands and prayed. Amy's father prayed then John prayed.

Finally, John had asked me what's my plan. I told him that I only ate was peanuts and orange juice. Truth is I wasn't hungry since I was in emotional. I do know my stomach is empty and I must eat something. John did said that I can ride van with them and my friend can ride with his daughter. I do not want to be alone.... Espeically with John even though Sharon will be there. I refused. I mention, I prefer to be with my friend. John's daughter said that she has a room for two people in her car. I nodded.

After a while, we got lost. Part of me is glad that wasn't my friend and I. We just tag along and let them find the resturant.

Finally, we found it. As we got out of the car, John waited and watching. My friend walk forward. John really had to ask, Kare you two together?" My respond, "no!" John said that I refuse to be alone and that I require to be with her. And that I seems to be close. I told him that she and I were roomates. I couldn't picture myself with her. I only see her as my best friend, my sister, that's all I see her. I couldn't see anything farther than that. Part of me is glad that he couldn't figure out what the real reason. I do not want to be alone around John. No matter what! We continue to eat and chatting different things.

I decided to lied that my plane leaves tomorrow(Thurs) since my plane leaves Friday for I do not want to see them again.
John's daughter dropped us off. We arrive back to hotel room. We chatting for next few hours.

You know what? I'm just am glad that I get to see Amy and I'm glad I had a chance to say good bye. I'm glad that I made my choice to fly over. In fact, I felt more peace than I was before. Most of all, I'm really am glad that my friend was there.

Next morning, my friend had told me that something had came up and had to go back home. I was disappointed. I don't want to be alone. Then I realize, I'm not going to see John again. So it really doesn't matter. She seems to hestate to leave. I told her that there are resturants, and couple fast food nearby. Or I can take shuttle to hosptial for cafeteria. I will be fine. So, she left.

You know what else?? I couldn't ask for better timing. I arrive just right on time before Amy died. I had a chance to say good bye. And I don't have to put up seeing John for another day alone while my friend had gone back home. It is truly blessing. What's even more, I'm glad that my friend had left because I realize I haven't being alone for long time. Even my parent gone for dating but that was short. It has been long to be alone for long hours. In fact I enjoy being by myself.

Next day, I flew from Minn to St. Loius Missiouri. My next flight was suppose to be 6 30pm; however it postpone 8:30pm then 9:10pm then 9:50pm. There was announcement. I had to asked. I found out that there was mechinical problem and that we may have to fly other city then to Dallas. I decided to get something to eat. Since I don't feel comfortable about eating resturant. I prefer fast food to go. I do not want to miss my flight if things had changed and I didn't know espeically, I can't understand over the speaker. I spotted a map on the board. I was disapointed is that all are resturant and if you want fast food, it has to be outside of security.

Sudeenly, I hear something like someone talk behind my back. Thanks to the big store where I work, that is not unusual when they think I'm hearing and they tend to talk behind my back. I trained myself to catch it otherwise, they think I ingore them. I turned my head, "mmmm?" this guy said again, " can I help you finding something?" that guy who sems to work there. He had vest on and he's pushing empty wheelchair like he is ready to get for someone elderly getting off the plane that needs wheelchair.

My respond, "I'm just look for something close-by for fast-food, not resturant." He asked me if I like Burger King. My answered, "yeah!" then he told be to go down ... Blah blah blah. I said, "thank you!" with smile on my face. He smiled, " you're welcome." So I assumed maybe it isn't that far. The long I walk the farther it seems to be. Then I spotted a resturant next to it that said to take out only. So I went there. There is nothing spark my interest. However there is wrap sandwich. So I went ahead and got it and buy it. The lady said something which I do not understood her. Then she gave a guesture with a fingres that show cross then put her hands on chest as for hug. Jesus loves you. I was like... Geez. Instead, I said, "yeah, I know." Then she smiled and said "happy Easter." I said, " you too" for a moment I did almost forgotten there is Easter this coming Sunday. I am so use to have Easter in April.

The plane delay again 11pm then 11:15pm. There was announcement. This time there is one way flight. People clapping their hands. Plus they switch plane since it is still mechinical problem. Finally, the plane arrived. And we left 11:25pm. I couldn't go to sleep because people in front row were busying flashing lights with their camera and cell phone's camera. It is really annoying they kept doing it. Part of me hoping they would stop soon but they kept going until arrive Dallas. The plane arrived 1:20am. I was hungry, tried, and really cranky.

When I looked around, there is lights off with only small light down the hallway. It look closed. The airport does close by midnight. Part of me am glad that my parent were there cuz there is no transportation.

On the way, we stop at Jack in the Box then came home. Reese was really exciting when I came home.

Right now, I felt peace. Plus it does feels alittle funny for eveytime I look at my pager, I was kinda hoping to hear from Amy. It will take a while. Same thing when I feel funny when my grandma died and she no longer send birthday cards and christmas cards. I'm use to that. So it will take a while to accept and wouldn't receive any more msg from Amy and my grandma.

R.I.P Amy~ March 19, 2008. ~ You will be missed but not forgot.

Well, I think I better stop.
Happy Easter!

Springtime

Humid turn to rain then sky is clearing up with cool breeze and warm from the sun. Well, I wouldn't be surprise if the tempture dropped down so suddenly with snow again. It sure bounce back and forth. Either it's mother's nature or global warming.

At work is crazy. Yep, half the workers don't do their work while others do their work. Some days are slow and some days are busy. Some custmers are nice and some are not. Truth is I don't care. I just minding my own buisness. I'm there to work when there no other jobs.

I couldn't wait to go back to school and finished up. Well, I'm still working on to visit couple more colleges. I did went one same college twice. Its really nice. I can picture myself staying there but the major isn't what I picture. What am I looking for is something working experinces or hand-on experiences or 21 hours of working during week when you have classes. That college doesn't provide one. Point is that one of professor told me is that I have a lot of knowlege in biology field. Only problem is that I don't have a lot of experiences. That's why I'm searching for it.

Meanwhile, I was watching A&E, Helen Keller. I was truly amazing. After Helen learned the word "water" has a meaning, she went to school. Unlike all the blind children, she learn far more and pick up real quick. Now her words are best friend to her. She even fund-raising for the blinds. First time was 2,000 dollars after few years, she raised hundred and thousand dollars. What truly amazing me is that Helen wants to learn to speak. Not bad at all. I just heard her speaking. She's good. She also helped many more deafs and blinds. It is truly amazing. What I like about Helen is her poems and quotes.

It shows Gallaudet College, too. I know, I always find deaf history truly preasure. I guess school doesn't really teach about deaf history. They only focus black history and in general such as All about U.S.A. Yeah, I mean no dispeact to balck history nor to USA but I'm tired of hearing them. I want to learn more about deaf history.

Snow II

Yep, last time was snowing that melted into the ground. Until today, there's heavy snow. The snow flakes are so thick and rounded almost size between dimes and quarters. I was thill when I saw white blanket on the ground, bushes, and trees. I quickly dressed warmly and grabbed my camera. First thought of my mind is winter wonderland.

I came out and I wouldn't let Reese out. I want to take a pictures where's untouched. I took a lot of pictures.

Finally, I let Reese out. Reese was uncertain about the snow. She had been introduce to snow last year but seem like she didn't remember. Snow doesn't last long here. She was being catious. I told Reese, "its a snow" I feel like I'm teaching toddler. I said again, "what is it?" she looked at me, "its a snow." She start snuffing and smelling around then she finally had courage to walk on the snow. I smiled and took couple pictures.

My mom is also got dressed warm as dad had came home from work then we all went out to take more pictures. We taking each other pictures. After, we are done. I took couple more pictures of Reese. Espeically when she bend down half way, that's postion means ready to play? I got a perfect shot.

Meanwhile, my boss contacted me and asked me to come to work. I told her I cannot drive in the snow. Which it is true. She said if the road is clear then please come. Ha, it still snowing outside. I don't think I would come anyway, I might not come weather road is clear or not. It is too dangerous. I rather live than have car accident. Maybe road is fine but I rather be safe than sorry. That's me. I bet a lot of people doesn't show up for work, today. It is snowing outside. It is safer to be in house. Maybe living in North is different since a lot of people experinces driving in snow plus snowpiling machine to get rid of snows off the street. There isn't snowpiling here. Last year, there was more car accident during snowing. I won't be surprised it wld be same this year. Even weatherman warned people and they didn't listen.

Anyway, my parents got in first and few minutes later, I came in. We were helping each other cooking dinner. After a while, they didn't need my help, I went upstairs to watch some tv. When dinner is ready, we goggle up that meat loaf, cooked cabbage, corn bread, mashed potato, cumcumbers, tomatos, and onions. Oh, there's black eye-peas added some green beans in it. Yummy!

Finally, we watched LOST. I had pretty good, today. I'm sure my parent is enjoying, too. It was really nice.

Snowing

Yep, it is already snowing here. I notice for past 2 years and now this is 3rd year, mostly it snow during Feb and March until after Easter things will be warmer and hot.

Last night, there was thunderstorm. I knew Reese hates to be alone. I was in my bed and Reese is in other room with door closed. I saw light flashes thru my window. So I got up and open the door. Reese was kinda surprised that I open the door. Then she walked in with her tail wagging. I mean when she's exiciting her tail would go in circle. If she's happy, her tail would wag back and forth. If she's light happy, her tail would softly wagging.
Her tail is going in circle as she walked in my bedroom and lay on the floor and still wagging. I smiled and closed the door. I gave her my loving as I pet her. She licked my face. I knew that she was very much appreicated. She really hates thunderstorm. She's ok as long as she is with somebody. Reese was asleep next to bed as I am in my bed. She's hate to be alone during thunderstorm.

Reese is such a big baby and she's still a baby to me. I loved her and still do.

Finally!!!

After all those years, I kept saying I don't know what I really wants. After I did hand-on experinces, I knew this isn't what I want. I kept going with no aim and goal.

Now I need to research. I'm not sure how and what to start but I need to find a way. I hope this is possible. As they say, anything is possible once you set your mind to it.

thinking out loud

You know what? Every time I test myself with personality careers weather it is from internet or from school. Almost exact same result are 3 things teacher, phyosology(sp), and enturpretur(sp).

Even though I use to thought about teacher but I changed my mind. I do not want to deal with kids.

I did thought about counsler but I also changed my mind. I do not want to hear every stranger's emotional problems. It can take a toll out of me.

However, to set up a buisness didn't across my mind until now. I wonder shall I set up one? What kind of buisness? Naturally, first thought would be anything with sciences, right?

One friend of mine thought about set up as farmer and focus anything that is natural and organic. Plus my friend did grow up as a farmer. Other friend wants to be chef and thought about setting herself a resturant buisness. Once I read news, there was deaf/blind becaming a chef and owned a buisness of resturant. One I know from public speaker, he became dentist, he did set up a buisness for himself, too. All are deaf.

Any ideas about setting up one?

I thought abt one thing. I know there are parks and shows all different kind of plants. I can't help but wonder shall I have large dorm of glass, almost like greenhouse and have all different kinds of exotic plants from all over the world? Maybe including couple of waterfalls and small brooks along the way with some water creatures? Maybe have a speical place where people can have speical occasions like weddings and receptions and etc?

Do you think people would enjoy something like that and it is all year around including winters and inside the drom would be warm.

Does that means I need to major in botony? Mmmmmm...

no title this time...

I leatn something that I didn't know about. Actually, mom did told me couple times but either I don't remember or I wasn't ready to listen.

Mom told me that one of professor did called my mom and told her that I do know so much of biology, only problem is that I do not know how to apply in real life.

Mom's interprete that I needs more hands on experinces.

I already knew that. That's why I'm working on trying to find a way to get hand-on-experiences. Only way to get internship is to go back to college again.

nothing new

Yep, everything is pretty much same o' and same o'. I'm still working. My parents and our pets are doing fine.

Yes, Tom-Tom is doing a lot better! However, I still get him outside during daytime. Sometimes, mom managed to get him outside.

Reese and Oreo are sweet as ever and sometimes they play with each other or one the other would competation for attention from me or my mom.

Weather has mood swings, lately. Some days are very chilly and some days are warm. Other times are humids with cloudys and possible rain. Sometimes it did rain and other times it didn't.

When weather is much nicer, I would take Reese for walk in the park. She loves it everytime, we do that. She always so anxious like a little kid who is ready to go to DisneyLand.

Meantime, I did visit another university. It seems very nice; however, I would like to visit couple more. I hope to have a chance to do that this coming March.

Well, that's all for now. I really don't have much news until next time.

Dinosaurs: Return to Life?

As I was watching on discovery channel. It is too much alike "Jussric Park". Only different, it is not frog but chicken. Since it is possible that those dinosaurs are closely relate to birds. So amazing to watch and can't help but wonder. When they talk about genetic and etc. It is really so.... Barizzare(sp).

I bet there will be re-runs. If you ever see title on the subject, feel free to check it out. Or not. Smile.

Tom-Tom, the old cat

I almost forgotten to mention about him. Next day, after I posted, mom told me that he is feeling better. Mom said that she had to fight him to go outside to prevent him stratching the furnatures, espeically couple of antique chairs. TT would stratch woods, trees, and rugs outside which my mom don't mind just not in the house.

Since the cat fight TT, he would not go outside, day and night. Now I have to pick him up to put him outside during daytime. Since most cats would roam during at night than daytime. So that would help prevent from having cats fight. Plus, we know that TT would come back in time for his dinner. Once he's back inside, he would not go outside.

Before he had cat fight, he would constantly beg to go outside at night. Even we refuse to let him because of cocoyte but when Reese want to go outside, TT would find a way to get it by. He can be quick sometimes. I couldn't catch him. He is more fast than Oreo. Even though, he's old cat, he mangaed to be quick.

Now, he wouldn't go outside at night even during daytime. So, that's why I put him out during daytime.

Finally

After so many months, the eletric bills are always so high. My parents complain and blame on me for using too much eletric.

I remind myself from now on, I will have my lights off all the times. However, it doesn't work. The eletric bills are still high.

So I made a habit of constantly turn off lights at my parents bedroom and bathroom by knowing that my parents were in living room watching tv or cooking. After a while I started turning all the nights when no one is around. I've been doing that for couple months. Even my mom complain about me turning off, yet I turn it off anyway. Other times, mom asked, "did you turn off?" I replied, "yeah, I did." Mom said, "thank you, I had forgotten."

The eletric bill arrived and the price is really low than ever was before. Hahaha! Mom is the one who tend to forget. It wasn't me that left the light on. However, I didn't say anything. My parents did thanked me for turning off the lights constantly. Smile!

Anyway, our old TT cat had a fight because you can see a lot of cuts and stratches. Now, he refuse to come out of the cloest for couple of days. Mom have to coax him out. She told me that he is sore. He had hard time to get on the sofa but he managed. He spend few more days on it. However, he does not ate much. Mom is concern that he may have infection. If he is not better in couple more days, we may have to take him to vet and postpone Oreo's Nutural(sp).

Wait and see...

No Title

Few bad things had appeared last month and this month. I rather not to mention this time. Maybe in the future but maybe not...

Speaking of prez, I'm consider voting Halliary and not because she is a WOMAN... Geez bunches of people's comments said I'm voting her because she's a woman. I find that's really low. I mean I am woman myself. I rather people pick me because I'm pontional(sp) not I'm woman.

It is like I'm voting for Obama because he is young. Or he is black... Blah, blah, blah

I believe in leadership and I believe in voting for best leadership not just because she is a woman.

I have my own other reasons, too...

Anyway, one thing is that I still disagree abt bring troops home.

Well...... Live and Learn.

Meanwhile, there are nothing new so far. Everything else is same old thing. The weather had been up and down. Reese enjoys her walk.

I'm trying to see if I can go back to my passion. I have enjoy drawing. I have always wanna to learn how to draw horses since I really want to do the winged unicorn. I went to library and borrowed few "how to draw animals" and horses was in it too. I did try to draw few times but it wasn't great but I do know that it takes pratices and a lot of pratices to improve. It is good thing I borrow from library because of possibility of my apathy and procansting would waste my money on books for nothing. I didn't really pratice that much even I have penty of time to do it. However I'm going to try stay on it as art is just for hobby not job.

Just wait and see.

My family and pets are doing ok. Oh, we are going to try to have Oreo nutrured(to remove certain thing to prevent to search for mate) for this Friday. Oreo is getting restless and growing long. Once been nutured, he should be able be more calm than before. He's still sweet and lovable.

Well, that's all for now.

Bad Day

Well, how's things going? Pretty obvious...
We went down to the South to visit one of the Universities that I had reserved. Turn out we went to wrong side of the city and we do not have time to make the tour. I was disappointed big time. I was looking forward to it.

So we turn around and come back home after been 4 hrs drive. Talk abt waste of gas... On the way, we ate most lousy Burger King that has no flavor. It taste plain. Dad was alittle cranky mood. I decided to sleep but in dozing kind of way on and off until we got home. Dad and I went back to bed to take a nap since we got up abt 5:30am.

It wasn't great trip. However my evening wasn't so bad. My parents gone to dinner and movie while I watch my favorite Stargate: Atlantis at home and couple other shows alone is what I like. Later, my parent brought me dinner. I ate and went to bed.

I can make another reservation for one of universities in another time. No big deal.

Morning Star

Ever seen Morning Star? It is usally mean it is only one star is still brightest while all other stars faded out. I've seen it several times. Funny, dad go out smoking in morning and never notice. Mom did notice for first time for her. Mom said, "ooh there's morning star!" My respond, "I know, I have seen it few times before." Dad never knew until mom told him. I thought he knew since he's the one who always outside smoking before he goes to work.

It is truly nice to see it. Kinda almost speical. I guess I never knew morning star does exist until now. I always thought just a storybook had been written with imagaination and not exist in real life. Beside, nobody didn't mention about it as far as I know.

Anyway, I'm on my way to South for visitation university. I finally contact one of the biology advisor while I'm there. I'm considering my major something relate to Lab Tech. I did asked if they offer something similar, sadly, the answer is no. So, if the do not have that then which university has that? Anyway, I decided to visit there just to check out, who knows maybe something there might spark my interest for different major beside Lab Tech. Seem like there are a lot of options so I'm going to check that out.

That's why I'm up early since I already mad resversation for afternoon tour.

Again, I'm still consdiering to join sorority. Mom thinks I'm too old for it. Unless, I lied abt my age?? Mmmm who knows, wait and see.

vote

Wow! Highly competitions this year for we need a good strong leadership for USA. I'm somewhat uncertains in so many different things.

Would I get shot if I speak as in freedom of speech? Maybe, maybe not... But I'm speaking what's in my head. Maybe I'm right... Maybe I'm wrong....

Espeically after I watch on History Channel, Nostromous(long name), he's a prophet. He did predient the future. He uses anaycom(hidden msg) like Hister is word for Hitler. He did mention Hitler is a smooth talker in Germany and blah blah. Which Hitler did only gave speech to draw people into do what he wants.

The prophet did mention New City blah blah 45 degree blah blah. Possible for New York City since he use anaycom and he left out one word. Plus the plane did crashed in 45 degree angle. Plus there is pictures. They look like 2 planes and look like New York city building. So he knows what it look alike. Even he lives in 1500's century. Amazing!

He also precident the Pentgon will be bombed.

Something tells me people wants to forget 9-11. So that man is still on the lose. Since his goal was distoryed Pentgon, but only sucess one section and not the whole building. He's going to send somebody else to do it, again.

Maybe the prophet isn't true but why do I get the feelings that could happen. Sound like that man really wants wars, fights, voliences, and deaths. Sound like he really asking for it weather or not Bush provoking it. Weather or not the past tense of presidents provoking to cause it. Like I said, sound like this man is begging to continue to fight. If he doesn't get what he want, he might go and send more men to bomb pentogan(sp) to able to success that he didn't last time.

Like I said, I dunno.... I just hope that I made the right choice and I hope people make the right decision on whoever they vote.

Good Luck, we do need this for America.

Never Mind...

Oreo doesn't want to be loving. He wants to be bath himself on my lap.

So far,

I didn't hear anything from my new boss. I'm not going to worry about it. Right now, I'm starting making appoitments with universities. I already had one this Friday. Other one had to be 2 weeks advantance. I went ahead made reseveration. I dunno weather or not I could make another tour.

In meantime, I have to fill out pell grant. I really don't like going to library for that because filling out take so long and I need breaks in btwn. Of course, you can click on hold and save it for next day. However I have to do the cleaning backgoround, chache, cookies and etc. It takes too much time for it. I really do not like to do paperwork. I'm sure it same for anybody. Oh well...

Life goes on, huh?

Lets talk abt our (my parents and I) pets. According to my mom, when she got up before I do, Oreo(b/w kitty) tend to call me in the hallway. Oreo wants to see me. Everytime Oreo runs down the hall, Reese would catch him to prevent from him to come in my bedroom. However, Oreo managed to be sneaky sometimes. He would already be on my bed. Once Reese found out, she whined. Haha, soo cute.

Other times Oreo would lay on the relcincer chair where I had my feet to lay a rest on. Reese didn't like that. She would get him off from it. Later, Oreo sneak up and lay on that place next to my feet. Reese looked up and notice that Oreo up there, she would whined. Reese wants to be center of attention. They are so much like brother and sister competeing each other for my attention as well as possible for my favorism. Truth is, I love them equally. Just that Reese is big dog, she doesn't fit in my lap as Oreo, the kitty. He's small and sorta baby in the family. You just couldn't resist giving a lot of attention to Oreo. Everytime I see him, I just scoop him him and pet him while he lays on my arm and one front leg sticking out. He seems to like that a lot. He's such a sweet kitty. Oh, he's so sweet that he doesn't mind being on the leash. Yes, a leash like having leash on the dog. Reason why is that, we haven't neuturled(sp) to remove. He would gone so far to find mate chances are he would not come back until he's satified or he's lost. So Oreo kept begging to be outside. That's why mom put him on the leash. We r hoping to get the despoit(sp) money back from AZ to use that for vet bill. So far, that stupid lady kept postponing it. I'm planning to write down how awful it was there in temporary apartment on website later on. Whenever I get a chance to...

So, we r still short on money. We might not able to for quite a while. We r hoping soon but don't know how soon.

By the way, Oreo just jumped on my lap. Like I said, I couldn't resist. So I'm giving him my loving. Good nite!

work & TV

Past this week, the work is going good so far. I hope things will be ok afterward. Sigh. My sore isn't so bad once I get the hang of this. However, once every section is clean, there will be no more cleaning. I don't know if I'm going back to work in the evening or not. I guess I will find out soon or later.

In meantime, my parent decided to get statlite dish since it said have more channels and a lot cheaper than cable. It is rip-off. Only thing has more channel worth 20 channels of NFL, 20 channels of NBA, and 20 more channels for Sports. I'm guessing but I do know it is worth over 80 channels are just sports. Maybe there are guys out there who are sport freaks would love to have that dish. There is no A&E, Hallmark, Lifetime, Animal Planet and few more channels that my parent and I enjoy watching those together as a family. If we want those, we have to pay extra. Sadly, we can't cut it off because it is under 18 months contract. So, we are stuck with 18 months for that limited channels compare to cable.

There's postive side just for ME... Yeah, I know... There's Science Fiction channel!!!!!!!!!!! Whoo-hoo.. Now I have to catch up of what I missed on Stargate: Atlantis for Fall Season. I hope to get to see re-runs this summer.

There's more just for me... TLC(the learning channel), Discovery Channel, History Channel(depend what's attract my attention, not intesting in wars), and coule other things. I already start watch those every evening. Untold Stories of ER, Mystery Digonis(sp), Dr. G, just to name of few. Anything with medical, I'm watching it. Also, I watch History Channel "Life after People" that's about what is it like when people are gone. There is one city in Union Soviot had atomic bomb and spread radioactive so high that people had to leave quickly. After 20 years, it showed what it is like. The plants covering up the buildings. There's some kind of amusement park. You can see the metals are rusty with some holes. It looks so much like ghost town. The animals did use the houses. There was a deer on the bed. Haha. Owl was resting on window still and etc.

So the just gave examples here in USA, there will be powers go off. The first week, it showed how would pets managed to live without humans. I felt bad for animals may stuck in the house and impossible to get out. It shows when dog managed to escape, the live thru trash cans and visist every houses and etc. What made me interesting and sad part, small dogs who have short legs, may live up to one week then die because these small dogs are made by human to make them smaller so the can't live in surviual world. I can't help but wonder what abot my Reese? As well as other 2 cats?

Also, it showed that only one Hoover Dam can run without humans on it's own while any other Dam will automatic turn off if there is no humans around in one day. That Hoover Dam can run for possible a century or 2 then it will cut off because there is a pipes down below under water. There are some kind of mussels can build up there slowly, that's when it blocked the cooling system. Once Hoover Dam been cut off, then the Las Vagas' electric power goes off. Imagine that... The Las Vagas can run on eletric over a century or 2 without humans around. Haha. Well, there is a lot of informations. It is truly fascanting.

I just love anything with facts as well as fictions.

Oh by the way, since I have been home in the eveings for a month while I'm at work... I truly enjoy my mom's cooking lately. I missed that so much plus able to eat out couple times. It is soo nice to be home in the evenings. Aaahhh Again, I truly enjoy that. Wishing that last forever... It is a "dream job".

can u say "no"?

I admit sometimes it is diffcult for me to say no. Only thing I can say no is to sex and drugs or anything that's dangergous.

I remember last time I went out with a guy. He wanted to make another date. I actually said no. Howver, his begging make it worst. So I gave in and said yes. I managed to convinced him to accept to mee me on Friday when he wants to see me next day, then next day. Everyday is too much for me. In fact, I got tired of him. My instrest in him grow into zero then below zero.

So he accepted Friday, that gave me few days woth of break from him. I took myself reconsideration. Finally, I emailed him Thursday evening that I do not want to meet him on Friday and from now on. I notice it is a lot easier for me to say no thru email even he begged me thru emails but I was able to say no again and blocked him out.

When my boss asked me to work the next morning, I did respond, I don't think I can. My boss is actually gave me a look. So I gave in and work next day. My legs were so sore that I almost collespe several times. My muscles in my legs were abt to give up on me and could not hold me up any longer.

Next day, I wasn't working then my boss text msg me and asked me to work the next day. It was too soon for my sore legs. I even nearly collespe couple times on my first day off. Like I said, it is so much easier to say no thru emails, text msg, and relay(can't hear tone of voice even relay explain the tone of voice but I can ingore).

In so many ways, I thank God, that I'm deaf. It is one nicest advantage.

My sore legs are getting better. Although the sore and pain are still there. At least, it is not extremely. Thanks to Bengay/icyhot plus tenyhol helped out. Oh, I did had one nice not bath with epsodium(sp) salt. I'm thinking abt do again tmw.

pain in the a$$

In advanatage, Pardon my FRENCH...

Anyway...

One of my co-worker did know what happened last week with me in costmatic(sp).

Today same co-worker, when I mention about the boss complain that it is still dusting. Co-woker did cleaning. Of course Co-w( for short) did missed few spots which is pretty commons that we actually do on purpose. The new boss did checked. I knew that new boss would do that so I made sure I did spotless for the sake of the new boss. Once my co-w finds out abt new boss isn't happy and told to do again.

Now the co-w understood how I feel. Co-w did looked around to be sure nobody is watching and gave full gesture in body language using the hands and so the shovel type up in the air. What she meant was shovel in the ass or pain in the ass.

Oohh that cracked me up big time. I managed to keep it low. When I came home, I did told my parents abt it. My parent and I laughed. Mom said sound like ya have a "little buddy" to talk about behind boss' back. I said, "yep."

Nice to know I'm not alone in this situation. I know it is not nice to talk someone behind somebody else back but sometimes we all need to vent once in a while to help us to keep going.

ow, owie

Oh my goodness, legs, arms, shoulders are very sore by cleaning. I mean, not when walking and foot sore. Since I bend my legs a lot. It is my thighs the upper part of my legs are sore. It made worst when I walk downstairs than I'm walking upstairs.
My shoulders and somewhat my back where's my shoulder hurt, too. I did work a bit harder and faster today. It seems paid off. Since my boss satified today. OY!

Now I'm asking to come in much earlier. It is before the store open. Well, at least one hour without costumers interpruted what am I doing even though, it is imporatant to put the costumers first. I have been interpruted few times. Maybe this wld help to have one hour early without intruprted.

I just took tenyhol and soon for antibodic. I'm going to rest about an hour then take a long hot shower then to bed.

Hope I do better tmw... Wish me luck...

Oh, I did break a sweat. Geez...

cinderella again

Yep! This time, it is not cosmtic(sp). My new boss wanna me to do dusting from racks and walls and mirrors. Of course every concer and every inches and every tiny bars. She wanna me to be done by halfway today. Ugh!

Last night, I overheard the conversation when mom asked my dad if that is wise thing for me to continue to go back working. I missed what my dad said.

Later I did contact to my second mom, I asked her opinion. She said that not uncommon by not getting along with your supervisor. She said just keep on going and keep on trying. She enouage me to have postive attitude no matter what. It doesn't matter if I can't make the boss happy. I just show up for work and do the best as I can and (again) have postive attutide.

She said it is best to get fired to know that you did your best as you can and not just because I didn't show up for work or to quit working. Truth is, I can't quit working cuz I have already searching and searching for other job. There is no luck for me.

So I guess I just put it up with it and give my best as I can even though it may never be enough. I will give the best as I got, anyway. As Mother Teresa said. It is between God and I. It will never between me and others.

Beautiful Day!!

It is truly nice day, today. It is cool outside but the wind stay still while the sun warms you. It is truly beautiful. Perfect day to walk Reese and bath her. She's already stink.

I'm so glad that my new boss cancel Monday morning just becuase I didn't do good job cleaning. Well, it is a good thing. I got to enjoy my day today and tmw would be nice as much as it is today. I'm so lucky! On Wed night that's when cold front comes in. Possible snowing/slight/freezing rain, so it is good thing I bath my dog before it is too late. I can't wait to walk again tmw with my Reese. I know she'll loves the idea of going to park. So I'm planning to grab the oppuruinty(sp) to do that tomorrow before the weather get too chilly.

I wonder shall I contact my new boss about up-coming schedule? Or shall I wait for couple of days? Mmmmm, I really don't like driving in snow/sleet/ freezing rain espeically I knew it would be too dangerous. I'm going to wait for few days to see how is it going before I contact my new boss.

almost forgetten

When I got home, I was upsetting that it wasn't good enough and fast enough. Mom held me. Sometimes, it nice to have someone to hold me weather it is from boyfriend or someone you're close with. While I was sitting next to my mom and Reese sitting next to me. Reese was licking my face and brought the ball with her. Few minutes, she lay down as her head on my leg. Oreo jumped up and his tail on my other leg while his head on my mom's leg. Oreo looked up and looked at us several times. That really help me calm down. They're sooo sweet.

Finally, I decided to go out to eat. I ask mom, "why don't we eat out for lunch?" I haven't ate. I was starving. So we did. We even went to couple stores, afterward.
That's when it happens. Suddenly popped in my mind. I did almost forgotten. I went back and read the poem that made me feel ssooo much better. I already posted this before but I'm going to post it again to remind me.

"Do It Anyway"
By Mother Theresa

People are often unreasonable,
illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be Kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and
some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

People may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis.
it is between you and God;
It is never between you and them anyway.

I'm not good enough...

She said I'm too slow. I don't clean. I told her I did my best as I could. Her respond that's not good enough. I told her I scrub hard with bleach and brush. I dusting constantly. I tried to be fast as I could but it take a while to get it clean it off so that's why proceed is slow. Her resepond over and over, "that's not good enough" she send me home because I'm wasting time and she is going to find somebody else does better cleaning.

This is really upsetting me big time!

OCD?!?

That's short for Obcessive Complusive Disorder (sp?).

Is there such thing a book called, "how to deal with OCD bosses?" Beacuse there is fine line between clean freak and OCD.

First day, working with Q-tips to get in between, not satified. She wants sparkling clean. 2nd day, work with bleach and brush to get in between. She not satified. She complained, I want this sparkling clean.

Today is the 3rd day. She got steam cleaner. Unforuantly, when been plugged it in, it blowed a fused. Meanwhile, she wants me to dusting again on the same alse(sp). I haven't move to the new place for 3 whole days.

Like I said, there's a fine line between clean freak and OCD. My 15 minutes break is over.

cinderella... cinderella...

Geez, I'm on my lunch break. I found out my boss' new boss is not being reasonable. I even try to talk to her that isn't quite possible. She's already set her mind that I should be finished halfway by end of the day.

She wasn't satified the way I clean yesterday. She even test herself with Q-tips. She realize that isn't working so she got brush and bleach. I scrub real good; yet, she isn't satified. So I knew it would be impossible to try finished halfway. Since I'm spending a lot time of scrub. I feel like a cinderella. Only differneces between her and me is I'm getting paid.

My mom always said, just do my best as you can and go on.

Gotta go...

no title # whatever

I'm in no mood to find out what's #.

I did applied a several jobs before and after Xmas since I only work 2 days. I needed money so badly. I didn't get any. Even no experience require, I still didn't get it. I was sooo disappointed that I couldn't get any. I only had interview once. That was it. *sigh*

I admit my depression is starting to creep up in me. I try to remind myself is to hang in there plus sing a song in my head... No I'm not singing out loud. "Anyway" that helps me alittle.

Meanwhile, my left ear had been infection twice. It was extremely painful. Oddly thing is my left ear is still painful but not extremely. It still ongoing. I find it annoying. I took regular tenyol. It is helpful. So I thought I had another ear infection. I went back to see doctor, again. My doctor said that there is no infection; however, there's a slight ear infection on the other ear. I find it weird. Doctor is also recommend me to go see aduiologist(sp) if my left ear is still in pain. So I got another antobodic for 3rd time.

Talk about soo tired. I could sleep in all day and night. Possible infection but maybe not. I dunno...

Meanwhile I got in touch with the person who responsable(sp) schedule. I found out that person didn't know I'm coming back for good. It is not tempoary. So, that clear up the misunderstood. Lucky, I'm able to back to work. Again, I ask for morning shift. I still haven't give up, yet.

That person told me I can do the costmatic(sp? Make-up and speical facial clean area). I said that would be fine. Boy! Was I wrong? I have to clean off the dust and I have to use Q-tips to get in the curnor(sp) where's the tight spot. First thing comes in my mind where you see commerical of maid clean your shower that you have to clean in tiny and tight spot. Geez talk about clean freak. At least, I'm working morning shift, now. Be careful of what you wish for. My real question is, how long would it last? Will I stay mornings from now on or not? Part of me hope so. So, wait and see.

Right now, I'm sitting and waiting for my medication in Pharmacy store. I was told if I sit there and wait for medication, they will do it faster. It has about one hour left before it closed.

Yep, after 30 minutes of waiting and I got my medication.

Anyway, I can't wait until I go home and go to bed. I'm ready to knock out. Good night.

wowieee

Oh boy! Christmas and New Year had come and gone. I have been busy here and there lately. It is truly amazing. What's my new year resoultion?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you already know as America's choice is usually losing weight. Of course, it is same with mine. Since I did quit cold turkey of soda and had been nearly 2 years (or was it 3 years?) I lost count but point is, I rarely drink it. I manage to drink Crystallight, tea (different flavors), water, juices(not much) and once in a while V8.

However, when I cut down on my soda; I eat more than normally. Plus, I have been in AZ so I've eating out more. I had gained back to my orginally(sp) weight. Life goes on.

Few things I have left is make more money to contiue to pay my bills, working my way to go to college and visiting college. That's only things I have for now. I don't think there will be anymore.

All in all, my family and our pets are ok.

Final thing I wld like to say is my grandma. My father's mother had altizmer(sp). We are hoping to see her before her mind's gone. It is getting worst. That's last time I heard. So I'm hoping to get to see her since she's a last grandparent that I have. I want to grab my chance to see her and so is my dad. Mom been encouraging dad to go and I'm kinda waiting on it. I could go myself but I don't have money for it.

I hope to see her soon by end of this month or beginning of Feburary.

sneaky, sneaky parent

Yep, they're sneaky and meany! I meant as in nicest way... Let me tell you a story first then you know why.

Let's go back to AZ, where we had one month staying and one month of rental apartment. It is about 4 hours drive to Sonda know as the 1st place for vacation here in America. What a beatiful and expensive place to stay! On a long road trip turn out to be abt 6 to 7 hours cuz of traffic. We plan to stay two nights there on our Thanksgivng vacantion.

On the road, we stop a few gas stations for restroom or something to eat or both. One gas station, we stop at. I spotted a mini truck. There were blankets and large towels with different pictures on it. My first thought... Winged Unicorn or flying unicorn or Alicorn, whatchmacallit, I don't care. It not unicorn and not flying horse and put together it is flying unicorn (exuase me for being draging on). Now, I went around and searching and hoping. Lo and behold, I saw a blanket of alicorn. I wanna it and must have it. I couldn't afford it. I was soo disappointed. My parent said they couldn't. Truth is I was desevanted(sp) and heartbroke. I was in disappointed. I would do anything to have it.

After trip is over, on way back, we stop at same gas station. I knew it was still there cuz I saw that alicorn blanket, again but in different place and u can see it. I was soo tempting to take a picture but I think it wld be wise not to. I still couldn't afford.
Oohh how much I want it. Nothing I could do. We arrive back to rental aprtment and in few days, we left and got home.

Several days later, my mind was no longer on that alicorn blanket. As xmas getting closer and closer. We wrap a few xmas presents. I spotted one slight big box that already wrapping of xmas wrapping paper and ribbons. At first, I thought maybe some kind of blanket but alicorn didn't across my mind. Mom lied, "oh I buoght it last summer." I replied, "you mean while I was gone couple days to Atlanta?" Mom thought abt it few second as she seems in serious thought then she nodded, "yeah."

Well, I dunno what it is. Our tradition to open all xmas presents on xmas eve but one will open on xmas morning. Well, I have two gifts and I decided to open that slightly big. So I did. I was shocked! It turn out alicorn blanket! I did had my tears in my eyes. I wasn't expecting that at all.

Mom told me that she said to dad that wld be perfect for xmas presant on a way to Sonda. When we came back to same gas station, dad went inside the gas station first and got cash from atm machine. Mom and I waited as I took care of Reese(my dog). Dad came out then mom and I went inside to use restroom and get something from subway sandwiches. Mom looked over the window while I busy gathering the bags of sandwiches. Mom notice that dad is still busy of trying to hide blanket in the back of the tuck so mom went ahead and bought more bottle drinks and candies. I just follow mom around and never notice. Geez! All those signs are noticable.

I mean, after we came in the mini-van, dad went back to gas station for restroom. And I thought he already went earlier. Plus, when we arrive at apartment, dad manage to shoot me to the apartment before he open the truck. He manage to hide in black bag.

Mom manage to put on top of the shelf in cloest. Funny thing, I did notice something different on top of shelf but I just ingore and minding my own buisness.

My parents manage to hide it on a way back home. I was clueless the whole time. Haha, like I said, sneaky parent!

Right now, alicorn blanket wrapped around me as I lay on my bed.
Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its xmas time in the city

Wow! City is busy and crowded. Best way to avoid crowd is morning. We have limited money this year. That means we wouldn't get much this xmas.

Unforuately my work doesn't start until Janurary. I really needed NOW. Since my momey is low I have no choice to ask my parents to give me xmas money so I can pay my bills. So that means no xmas presents for me this year.

Truth is, I'm not able buying anything for my parent and they already know that. They don't care as long as I'm home and alive.

I'm tempting to fly and work other state but I can't go anywhere cuz of limit budget that I have. I can stay either Georgoria or Oregon since there r 2 people I know invite me to stay at their place and search for job. But limited money, so I'm stuck here for a while.

Enough with gloomy! Time for cheery stuff... I enjoy decorate xmas tree. White tree with red organtments and white light. We bought hickory farm food. Its our tradition on xmas eve and hot choclate or speical xmas desserts. Yummy! And most of all, xmas caroling with radio blasting in living room. If weather is really chilly, we wld start the fire in fireplace.

I can't wait until I celebrating xmas with my parent. Even though there is no presents, I still enjoy dressing up my beautiful outfit and putting up curling hair and simple make-up. My favorite thing to do... Is to dress up.

Smile.

pet peeves!

I look at newspaper ads, I saw job that got me interesting. Although it is vague, as always. When I called, it turn out door-to-door salesman of Kirby the vaccum. How annoying? But there always something that is scam. I'm usually spetickal(sp) a lot of times. I ask questions and if the answer is still vague or off-point and didn't answer directly. I refuse to accept. I walked away.

In meantime, I spotted another ads, I thought I would give a try. I ask what company's name. I did google search but no luck. I receive address where I can interview next day at 4pm. I google address. There's an area where selling for offices on that street. Well, seem like the building does exist. I asked what is dress code. The lady replied buisness attire and no experience reqiure. Heck! 14 dollars an hour is way better paid where I work. Oh, if the interview goes well the it wld last 90 minutes, be sure to bring paper and pen. So I thought I could give a try. I informed my parents. Just in case anything could happen. Mom and I look over my wordrobe(sp-closet) and found perfect buisness outfit that looks good on me. Copper silk top with pin brown/black strips pants and black buisness coat. I lookd faboulous in that outfit. Plus gold loop earrings and copper/brown stone necklace. It blends so well. Next day, I put on light make-up with natural colors and put on the buisness attire.

Funny, I wasn't nervous. It is more of catious since the company is vague so I didn't have hope ups. I arrived at the building I spotted all other building has signs up but not the one I go to. Again, I was uncertain so I called my dad, he encoruage me it wouldn't hurt u if ya go in. I said, "ok". I took my father's advice I went in, there are several small rooms with room number know as suite. I found my suite number. The door is wide open. Down the short hallway, I spotted the wooded frame said "BB-something" I knew that is Better Buisness (dot) org. Where u can find that website where people give postive/negitives about buisness around in usa. So I thought, well this isn't scam. It is a real company. I spotted the name, turn out the spelling I received was wrong. No wonder I couldn't find it. I froze when I saw the next word "Marketing". Deep down I knew I had to work with custmors same idea where I work but this one is better paid and ya get scholorship for college.

So, I knew expectation is high. I enter another room, I spotted 2 young people who applied same postion I applied so there is compentation(sp). I quickly google search thru my trusty sidekick to get familiar with that company and there's a website for it. I was thrill when I found out they do hire part-time/holidays/summer for kids who in college and to help to be prepare in real world so I thought this is perfect oppurtinty. It said no matter what career goals are. So perfect!

I didn't had time to be nervous as I learn information and write down the application. The process was quick. The lady came and called my name which kinda surprised me because other 2 were there first before me. I got up and went into her office. I explained that I'm hard-of-hearing (in hearing world, its best not to say I'm deaf from my personal experiences).

She mention there will be public speaking, are you comfortable with that? I quickly said I partipant 4H Club for public speaking and won first place and I took class in H.S. And college. I do enjoy give public speaking. She said, "oh, so ya didn't have problem with that." She asked me how did I deal with customers, I told her my experiences of recent job. She impressed. Then she asked me about phone calls, I told her I don't use phone then she said how did u called here. I explained relay. She rolled her eyes..

(SHE ROLLED HER EYES!) I stop in mid-sentences, I said, ya got the idea. Ooohhh that pissed me off but I kept cool. Then she explained how customers wld be uncomfortable about relay. Blah blah, thank you for coming as she shook my hand. I was quickly dismissed. It is 2 minutes interview and I'm out the door. I wished I could flip my finger at her for already determined.

My pet-peeves when a hearing person already set their mind and hurry me out without giving me a chance to explain or defend of point out examples that there are deaf manger out there or something. Sigh!

virus this and that

Wow! I heard a news mention several people died from cold virus. It is not flu virus. What's next? Cold virus is a lot stronger than before. My guess it has to do with global warming.

Why did I bought abt that? Well, I did research West Nile Virus(WNV). I learned that WNV has been there long and long time. Reason why it hasn't affect us beacuse WNV is young. It hasn't delevolped into adulthood that grows in misquoto(sp). The cold weather killed them. Now the global warming caused delay of cold weather so misquoto had a chance to live longer then WNV has a chance to grow into adulthood. Now the fully growth WNV is starting to kill to several humas (and young alligators, I watched National Explore Channel in AZ, the people who tried to save alligators. Had killed 800 last year just because of WNV).

Now get to the point abt cold virus... I suspect the weather might affect cold virus to be stronger. Sad, isn't it? Now I can't help but wonder is it really safe to be outside? I mean, it is sooo nice weather for few days this week.

Today, my parents and I went to resturant and the young boy is just coughing and didn't put his hand to cover his mouth and start spreading in the air as he walked by us. My parents and I saw that and we rolled our eyes. Mom suggestion to have an early dinner from now on and I couldn't agreed more.

Last Day

Yep, it is sure last day for me to use internet cuz we are leaving late tmw morning on the way to home (Texas). I felt that I'm ready to go home now. It is a bit too long but that's ok. It is truly nice to get out of Texas for a while.

I went to couple natural parks nearby in AZ. I spotted coytoe, roadrunner, and roadkilled boar. Yes, there's a boar here. My mom did doubted and truth is I kinda doubt what I saw until I went to sourvinor(gifts or stuff for memorable vaction) shop and there is a boar picture looks exact what I saw a dead one. Well, there isn't any gross looks. Just plain dead.

I did went to Sonda... Ooohh It is so beautiful. It is Grand Cayon(sp). The winner is from the best vacation of USA's choice is Sonda, AZ. However it is nearly expensive because speactolor(sp?) view is 360 degree and ya get the best view looking out.

Next let's talk about Oreo and Reese and Tom-Tom(TT).... Oreo is sooo adorable. When we were packing a day early Oreo is ready to go. He's already inside the carrier and wait for us to take him. Ooohh sooo sweet! During the daytime riding along in mini-van. I let Oreo out. He's fine. He's busying looking out the window and sitting on my shoulder. He's reminding me a monkey. In fact, I've nicknamed him "Curious Gegorge, Curious a little monkey" Yes, he certain curious. He likes to get into anything and be in the middle of everything what ya doing. When I packing stuff in suitcase, he comes and sit down on the suitcase. Other times, he would sniff around and looked at me "meow". So adorable. So sweet! I couldn't resist. I picked him up and loving him. Oreo is increadble smart himself. Too smart for most cats. Mom said compare any cats that she had... Oreo is smarter than all.

Reese is ready to go when we start packing. Reese sat in the backseat and just stay there while we are packing suitcases in the mini-van. She doesn't go anyway. Before we left TX to AZ, Reese doesn't know where to sit. She been busying seating in different seat then ended up seating the driver's seat. For some reason she likes that place better. After a while, at the last packed, we put 2 carrier by one of two cats each for 2 carriers. We put in the back seat. Reese hopped over and sat back seat with them. Reese knows where she's really belong in the backseat. Soo adorable. I know. I know. It just tickle me to know that Reese wouldn't leave the mini-van in the morning as we packed back from the hotel and on the way to another hotel. She would do exact same thing. Sometimes Reese is concern to be left out. She doesn't want to be forgotten. That's her worry. I can see that. When we were packing today to get ready to leave tmw morning, we stopped Reese from coming with us as we walk to mini-van to oranize and stuff. Reese seems not happy. Her tail is down and her head is down as she walk around. I saw her then I spoke to her, "Oh Reese, don't you worry. I see you, girl. and you are coming with us." Then she wagged her tail softly. Then mom added, "of course, you are, Reese, you are coming with us, we won't forget you." Reese's tail wagging more and faster. She came to us for our loving and attention.

TT is totally different. He doesn't like to being picked up. He'll try to bite or stritch you. TT does bite very hard and it does go deep especially with his fangs. I can see the fangs are outside of his lip. Too much remind me of sabortooth cat. TT is always feel safer in the carrier even though we have to fight for him to put in the carrier. Mainly because every trip to go to VET, that's why he wouldn't go there. When we were in TX, TT already knows what's going on. It means travel time. He would try so hard to escape or hide. We managed to find him and put him in the carrier. At first, he would meowing and fussing once he realize that he isn't going to VET. He's all calm and purring and go to sleep. If we tried to let him out. He would find a good hiding spot. However, at night, he doesn't mind sitting backseat and looking out the window. TT feels more comfortable at night than daytime. TT is still sweet and loveble and he will get on your lap only when he feels like it.

Well, last time to post until next time. So, I'm going ahead and say, "Merry Early Christmas" or "Happy Holidays!"

In AZ

Yes, My mom did notice the man stare at me. Of course, my mom told my dad that. Which it is not unusual. More stories come to later. It is about my trip to National Park.....

AZ

I'm still in AZ. Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep, I sure am. *grin*

I notice a lot of hispanic people around here. It does seem like mostly are from Mexico. When I was at the resturant, Olive Garden, I notice one hispanic guy stare at me. I mean it is very obvious because he is doing it literally stare. I do feel somewhat uncomfortable. I manage to ingore. I feel sorry for his girlfriend, I knew she would feel less beautiful. Of course, it is not unusual, his girlfriend got mad at him. She wasn't happy about that. I know that I am beautiful and God created me. If I truly hate my apperances then that means I would hate God for created me. I already accepted for my apperances after all I can't change it. Unless I get the plastic surgery which it costs a lot. I rather not. Beside, I like my appearance and I enjoy my beauty. There's no law said that I can't enjoy. But still, it strike me interesting about some men out there. Also what's interesting part, some (or most) men do look at me or suprised by my beauty looks. One thing I don't understand is that they do not approach me. If I try to approach to some guys, it makes it worst because it boast their ego-ism and start playing hard to get. That's really annoying. I lost interesting fast. That's why I don't approach.

A very few guys did approach me. One did but I quickly dismissed him. Sadly, Yes, I did. When I should have put the effort to try to soicalize with him. I guess I'm more comfortable around deaf men than I do hearing men. That's the hearing guy I dismissed him.

Because one deaf guy did approach me and I enjoy talking to him because communicate is a lot easier than trying hard time understanding what's the hearing guy said. It does consume my energy.

Before I talk about Halloween Party, I went to Deaf Happy Hour last summer. There are fewer deaf people there. I don't know if I mention this on the blog because I couldn't seem to find it so I assume it is not. I met a deaf guy there. He's bragging how much he's contoling his roommate. Well, his roommate is female and she's diabetic. He kept telling her what she can eat and what not to eat. He keep on preaching to exercise.. blah blah blah. The way how he says that he really enjoy to tell her what to do. I don't like him at all. I feel very uncomfortable around him. So I left.

Now, at the Halloween Party, There are several deaf people. I met quite a few. One person did introduce me to some others. So that's how it make it alot easier to soicalize. Other person did introduce me to Jimmy. He's seems pretty nice guy. I do enjoy being around him. Then there's a guy I met from Deaf Happy Hour. I wish he wasn't there. He did showed up late. I manage to mind my own buisness and talk with other deaf people until I need to go to use restroom. I could not hold any longer. I walk by that controling guy. He try to stop me, I told him I gotta go. After using the restroom, I try so hard to pass by him without notice him or that he didn't notice me but... He's actually waiting for me. Back of my head was, "sh*t" I couldn't believe it. He grabbed a chair and said that I must respect a lady and bring to the table for me to sit with him. *Ugh* What can I do?! I wish somebody would save me... but deep down I know only I can save myself. The converstation wasn't flowing smoothly in and out. He does the most talking. Half of the time, I don't understand what's the heck is he talking about. Meanwhile I try to think of a creative way to get out. He did asked me a couple of questions but everytime I talk, he just interpruted me. I didn't care. I let him interprut me. I don't feel comfortable of sharing myself to him. He said that our converstation flow in and out natural... Ha! Oh PUH-lease... He said that I'm beautiful. I told him thank you. Then he asked me out... Sh*t was come in my mind again. I told him, "no." He asked why... I just shake my head. I refuse to give a reason. He said that he doesn't see me wearing wedding band and asked me if I'm married. I wish I could lie. I said, "no". He asked me again why not go out for a date. I shake my head. Then he brag on how much he has money and working full-time UPS and been working there for long time. I think 20 years or so... So I make up the exuase that I'm going to school this Spring 2008. So, I rather not dating for a while. Blah blah blah.... Finally, I had an idea... I told him, I need to get something to drink as I got up... He asked, are you coming back? This time... I lied. Yeah, I'm coming back..... No way I'm not going back to that controlling guy. Heck! I don't remember his name.

I saw Jimmy. I bought the bottle of water for a drink and sat with Jimmy. Several minutes later, that controlling guy came to us. Jimmy pointed to the tv which is baseball is playing. I went ahead and watch it. Few moments later, Jimmy got my attention. He said that best way to get the controlling guy to leave is to watch any sports. He doen't like sports and he would leave. Thanks for the advice, next time I will do that. Jimmy and I talk for a while... then controlling guy comes to us. We watch baseball until controlling guy leaves. It repeat like 6 times.... Geez, that controlling guy wouldn't leave me alone. And he still keep staring at me... Oy!! I hate that... I really hate that the most. However, I didn't let the controlling guy bother me. I continue to have fun which I did for the next few hours then I got a little bit sleepy. Jimmy was sweet that he's willing to walk with me to the car. I can trust him so I let him. Plus there are few other deaf people getting ready to leave so it was sorta in group so we're not alone. *smile*

All in All, it was a good experience for me. I do enjoy despite the fact the contolling guy is there. This time I finally find a way to save myself without hoping to have someone to save me after all, only I can save myself. I pat my back for did a good job to make a respect getaway without making into scene.

Wow, I didn't realize, it's getting late. Good Nite.

Need my Beauty Sleep!

Sneezing-

Yep, I've been sneezing lately and no it's not a cold/flu. It's allergy. Man! I hated that. Being in a small space with two cats. I'm higly allergic to cats than dogs. (that's why I pick dog, not cats) If the space is large, then it's not so bad.

Now why am I speaking of space? Mmmmm.... I'm in AZ for real. Living in two bedrooms and two bathrooms apartment. Living room/dining room/Kitchen is connected in one room. Talk about small space here. Compare living in the house. There's no hallway or going up and down the stairs. But here we are staying for one month. So I've been taking allergy pills from the over the counter from the store. It helps but bigger space is much better. I have been outside more often where's the freesh air. Inotice my nose is alot clearer if I'm outside more than I'm inside. Well, it doesn't matter.

This apartmen t suppose to have heated pool but sadly according to the magner said, we do have heated pool but the heat pump is broke. Mom and I think she's lying. The manager of the apartment is lazy... cuz she kept postponing the paperwork for several weeks then finally got it. Then we arrive to AZ, we got the room... but we still waiting for other closure paperwork and AC adoptor (it is for the computer internet) without AC adoptor there's no way to have access to the internet. Geez, I thought we have to wait for few weeks by the time I got the AC adoptor, we are going back to Texas. Lucky, I just got the AC adoptor this evening.

Well, this town is pretty easy to learn a way around better than Texas. It has everything in one spot without spreading every where. It's much better. Save Gas, too.

We haven't find the Park, yet for Reese. I know she needs it. Reese has been moping around. She isn't in playful mood lately. Sadly, there's no backyard. I know Reese needs to go to the park. I know that will cheer her up better. I hate seeing her moping around.

We have no luck to find temopoary rental house or "vaction homes" It is either no pets allow or have pets allow, if the pets are allow but credit card is not acceptable. What a pain in the....... I found a perfect cottage-y house and has large fenced backyard. *sigh* But she doesn't accept credit card. Oh well....

Well, on the bright side, I got to have access on internet and tv cable. *big grin* Only reason I like it so much, Sci-fi... Of course it's Star Gate: Atlantis. Right now I'm watching the Animal Planet or Explorer, it's focus on Tiger in the wild. I enjoy watching that show. Well, not just for tiger but many other animals stuff. Once in a while, I do enjoy watching History Channel. Sometimes it is fancasting to watch but other times it can be boring. I only pick out what I know that I would enjoy.

Well, it's 11pm here while midnight in Texas, I've starting to go to bed early since there's no backyard, I have no choice but to wake up early in the morning and take Reese for a walk around in apartment area.