Why me?

I'm being victimzed by the bullies thoughout my life and that's inculuding my ex. I was like... What's the heck that they find me so attactive and that they target on me? What's up with me? Other than that I have emotion and others don't. Since I've been bullied at work, I decided to check out the interent to find out what can I do about it. There is an explain about why Bullies target on me.... here it is...This is who I am.

*being the expert and the person to whom others come for advice, either personal or professional (ie you get more attention than the bully)
*refusing to join an established clique
*refusing to become a corporate clone and drone
*showing independence of thought or deed
*having a strong sense of integrity (bullies despise integrity, for they have none, and seem compelled to destroy anyone who has integrity)
*being good at your job, often excelling
*having at least one vulnerability that can be exploited (ie being the sole breadwinner, having a disability or perceived disability, because you care such as your job, family, friends, about people, and etc)

There are few more lists. Now that's explain why the bullies target on me. Mainly, Jealousy (of relationships and perceived exclusion therefrom) and envy (of talents, abilities, circumstances or possessions) are strong motivators of bullying.

Personal qualities that bullies find irresistible:

*competence (this stimulates envy in the less-than-competent bully)
*intelligence and intellect
*honesty and integrity (which bullies despise)
*you're trustworthy, trusting, conscientious, loyal and dependable
*a well-developed integrity which you're unwilling to compromise
*you're always willing to go that extra mile and expect others to do the same
successful, tenacious, determined, courageous, having fortitude
*a sense of humour, including displays of quick-wittedness
*imaginative, creative, innovative
*idealistic, optimistic, always working for improvement and betterment of self, family, the employer, and the world
*ability to master new skills
*ability to think long term and to see the bigger picture
*sensitivity (this is a constellation of values to be cherished including empathy, concern for others, respect, tolerance etc)
*slow to anger (that's funny, I learn to be slow to anger)
*helpful, always willing to share knowledge and experience
*giving and selfless
*difficulty saying no
*diligent, industrious
*tolerant
*strong sense of honour
*irrepressible, wanting to tackle and correct injustice wherever you see it
an inability to value oneself whilst attributing greater importance and validity to other people's *opinions of oneself (eg through tests, exams, appraisals, manager's feedback, etc)
*low propensity to violence (ie you prefer to resolve conflict through dialogue rather than through violence or legal action)
*a strong forgiving streak (which the bully exploits and manipulates to dissuade you from taking grievance and legal action)
*a desire to always think well of others (Respect from this internet: http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/irform.htm)

And many more...

Wow! I'm normal. The bullies are abnormal so they target to the normal (like me) because they don't have those qualities and they are jealous. Mmmmm That's explain. So, they are jealous. Huh? Now that makes a lot of sense.

Oh by the way, I'm just letting you know that there are website showing about your child is being victim by the bully at school. If you are curious and want to prepare for that, it is in that website as I previous posted.

Speaking of co-dependent, there is one thing I notice about co-dependent. Even though, I can be one but I do notice that there are some people out there are co-dependent. For example, I refuse to do anything and someone who is "caretaker" start to take it over. That's consider co-dependent. I admit that I did that couple times. The only reason why I did is because I'm curious. I know it's not approate way to do such thing like that. That's my mom. She's very much co-dependent. I refuse to make myself something to eat. She explain most simple thing to do which I already knew. Yet, I didn't do anything but sit down. Few minutes later, she took it over. Also, when I was making myself something to eat, I just asking few questions, before I knew, my mom took it over. So, I try again. She did again. I just stood there with a suprised that she must take over. After that, she start fussing at me and blaming me for being manplating her into cooking. It wasn't on purpose on the first time nor the second time. I was fizing myself to eat and I didn't ask for help. She just took it over. Unlike, when I refuse to fix, she took it over. She continue to fuss at me for not getting myself something to eat and make her do it. I told her, "you can just walk away and leave." She couldn't that's problem and she mad at me for that she can't do it. I thought that was amazing to observe the behavior in overall. My mom didn't realize what she really doing. The whole time, I didn't realize either in the past with my parents and my ex until now. It's like I'm stepping back and observe myself and other behavior. I admit that I was doing a little bit experiment about that. I just want to satified my curiousity after reading that book that I mention about. It was very interesting prespective. It's like observing outside of the box.

Ya know? I want to do some kind of experiment at work but I don't know how to do that without getting into trouble or without hurting someone or could get fired. It's something that I'm curious about giving a try. Like I said, I hate the idea of getting fired.