Good Morning...

Yeah, I do have to work this morning. I'll be leaving in about 5-10 minutes.

I only slept about 3 hours. I'm so concern that I might overslept. I almost did once because I accidently click on PM instead of AM of clock alarm. I have to check few times to make sure it is AM and not PM even I woke up in next 30 minutes or so to check again. Geez. I dislike when I am so concern about the time for me to get up early in the morning. Well, look at the bright side, I get off the work at 2pm.

(By the way, my parents came in to say good morning so I have to put it on hold. Now it is night time. I'm going to bed soon after I mention this news first.)

Well, the update news about the young boy, he's fine. He got out of the hosptial yesterday. Geez, she waited until he got out of the hopsital and contact us. Well, according to my mom, the boy have to take his tyoid (something in the throat) have to take it out. He refuse to eat because of throat hurts too much and have to take him back to hosptial because he lost 11 pounds. Gave him IV and now he's fine. He's able to eat.

Also, my mom said that she talked to my uncle and mention that my cousin is upset with my parents for refusing paying the money. My mom said that isn't true. My mom did paid but that woman was asking for another 150 dollars and my parents can't (because they are helping me to pay some of my bills). My parents have already spoke to my cousin about not able to pay 150 and my cousin will sell his another car (they have at least 4 cars and only need 2). That woman told a lied to my cousin (which is her husband) by saying that my parents refuse to help and something else which is worst than you can imagine. My mom couldn't believe that he believed her words over my parents. Knowing that my parents will always help out but that woman is asking too much and plus she made up few more lying stories in the past. We don't know wheather or not she needs help. We rather hear from our cousin and not his wife. *sigh*

Well, my mom said that she's not going through that again anymore by being manpluate. She had been manpluate by her mother and that's enough. She's not going through this again. She told me that if I recieve any msg from her don't let her know anymore. Also, if somebody dies then don't let her know either. She doesn't want to be part of this anymore. She also said that I needed to get married and have kids so I wouldn't be alone. She said something like this, "you have no one to support you or help you when you get older. That's why I want to try to connect with those kids and help you to prevent of being alone and have a family."

I knew that is insecurity talk. My mom really had been feeding me the insecurity for long time. I'm glad that I realize few years agoe. I know my mom doesn't mean to do that. She doesn't realize what she is doing. She is very concern. My mom really don't want me to die alone or ended up in Elderly Folks Home where they really don't care. She doesn't want me to ended that way. She wants me to have kids so when kids grow older they will take care of me. Why should I have kids just to take care of me? They need to live their life. Beside, I rather live alone than live with pyscho man. I read couple quotes at the mall that said something like this, "it is better to live and loved than to live with someone who is pyscho." I agreed! There's another one which I absoultely agreed 100% "Never Underestatimate the power of sick mind" Which is VERY true!

Plus, I'm not interesting to have kids. So, if I do not want kids then it wouldn't be fair for the kids for they have not feel the wanted and needs for I will not provide to the kids. Well, maybe biological clock ticking one day but in meantime, I see pointless to have kids. I have my own pholisity(sp?) that kids don't come first. My parent's philophsy that kids come first. My mom even try to tell me to put my dog, Reese, first. Ha! I'll make sure that she has her needs such as take her to walk, feeding, love, medication, and etc but my needs will always come first. Oh believe it or not, my dog has allergies and sometimes I have to give her some kind of bendryal(sp?) from the over-the-counter medication. That's the vet's recommend and it works great on her. Thank goodness. Anyway, everybody have different opinions, point of view, and how they raise.

I wonder about something... is it being the "only child" affect that way? I mean does it affect me for not interesting to have children? I dunno. Maybe it is and maybe it isn't.

Even though my mom didn't mention but I can't help but wondering does she wishes to have another child? Just to give a benefit for me? That way we would have some kind of family with kids and I would be just "aunt"?

That reminds me ... I did asked my parents why they didn't adopt children? My parents said that it never cross their mind. I asked them, what about now? Since I can tell that my parents still want kids around because they kept asking me when are you going to make me grandbabies? They said that they are too old. Haha.