And nope, I'm not kidding about some texas people did wear a jacket. I've witness. My mom said must be thin blood. Whatever that is, they're wearing it.
Anyway, I've been dealing with one annoying costumer and 3 are nice costumers, today. I didn't realize it can be emontional drainage. I know one of them has NPD because of my emontional drainage like a vaccum absorb my energy away. However, I went ahead and took my other 15 minutes break. It suppose to be one 15 minutes break if ya have short hour of working but not today. Even though I have short hours and I already used up 15 minutes, I went ahead and do the second without anyone knows about it. *hopefully* If they caught me, it is usually by warning from what I understand. So, I took advantage to sit down for my second time around of 15 minutes. Normally, I would read a book but instead, I choice to close my eyes and medicate to have my energy back. It helps. I do know that my soul would refill the energy for me when I needed.
Ya know, after all those years of my empty heart and searching for something to fullfillment. Nothing ever works of every where I search within and outside. People kept saying it is there somewhere but they never tells me *how?* Then I realize that is because they really do *not* know how and their hearts are empty as much as I am.
One thing I do know that I did have very *low* self esteem so extremely low that I almost killed myself because of that. So many years, teachers, parents, family, and few older adults who I trust the most. All kept saying, look in the mirror and find out what you like about certain things like color of eyes, hair, and the lips. Maybe notice the laughing lines and a nice smile. Also, accept things that can not be change (unless ya wanna go to plastic surgery, which I recommend *not*) Also, saying something like "I like myself." and etc until you get use to it as become second nature that would help to boost self esteem. It does helpful, however; my heart is still empty. I mean I finally accept my outside appereance. I like the color of my eyes, hairs, and my natural smile. Only thing I do not like is my nails. It's so thin and soft. I try to drink lotsa of milk and eating yougert for several years. Sometimes cheese because it does have a lot of fat but lucky now they have low fat cheese. I finally accept the fact that I can't have nice real nails other than just put the fake ones. There are some things that I dislike but I've learn that's is part of who I am that God created me to be.
Like I said, my heart is still empty even though I finally boost my self esteem. More story to tell later...
It's getting late.
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