Deep Dark Secret

Or shall I say skelton(s) in the closet...

Don't we all? It's funny. I always thought I have worst skelton in my closet. Turn out, it wasn't comparing by all my friends. Haha... Yeah, Ironic, isn't it?

I met one girl mention that she's 16 and have sex with someone else's who already have a wife.

I met another girl who was 14 years old got pregant and abortion.

I met another 10 years old girl who invovle gang life and do drugs. She's even witness murder at age 13 and never told a cop. What's sadden part? Her parents never knew that she's missing.

Turn out my skelton seems to shrink to the smallest as mustard seed. In fact, I don't remember what it was, anymore.

What's funny? I mention to my mom about me considering to join sorority. My mom told me to never mention any "skelton" in my closet because sorority is considering "perfection". And that chances there will be "rumor" and "backstabbing" and etc. I was thinking... what "skelton" do I have?" I thought that was very interesting of what my mom mention to me. I wonder. I won't be surprised that there will be "one or two bad apples" in the sorority as much I wouldn't be surprised in any groupie. That means I have to be careful who should I befriended with.

One thing is that, I never really liked "bitchy girls" I couldn't really get along with those girls. Like my mom said, their and mine personality will clash. It is a huge conflicts. We do not get along with each other.

Deep down, I know there will be a huge challenge for me. There is a new experiment that I would like to try it out to see what happens. If ya wonder what's "new experiment" that I would like to try. I'll tell ya...

Everytime, I meet not only bitchy-types but very jealously type. (well, usually, I haven't had a chance to meet those girls and they automatic hated me.). First thing, I notice the eyes and the face expersion. Well, the best way for me to show the example that I usually see that looks, it is very similar.

Did you ever watch the orginal Cinderella Disney movie? If so, you'll know what I'm talking about, watch that stepmother's face expersion when she heard Cinderella sings from the love song that she dance at the ball with the prince. That moment the face turn to jealously (possible hatred). The experiment, I would say in front of the people, "Correct me if I'm wrong, why do I notice the jealously face experssion in you?"

Deep down, I know my mom would tell me "Don't do that!" However, I never do anything about it. I've always said nothting and moved on while that bitchy continue to be bitchy and doing things behind my back.

Truth is, there are some people who are "darn" good at their face experssion and never showed it. There are some people who are good at hiding and I didn't notice. For example, I remember I was roommate with one hearing girl. I was saying something funny. She just strug like it was nothing and took off. I can see something is bothering her. I can see something is boiling inside of her. I approach to her and asked her what's wrong. She denial. That's my pet peeves! I explain to her what I notice that body language and it really shows. She was kinda surprised and didn't realize by her body language. So, she told me what's bothering her and etc. Afterward she's fine.

This one girl who I formally roommate with her. I never knew there's something bothering her and that she backstabbing about me with other "suite-mate" until she was starting to bother me. Such as, she promised her "suitemate" that she'll let her watch the her favorite tv show that she recording on Thursday night. I have my big test on Calculculas on Friday morning. I told her that I would like to go to bed early and to get up early because I notice I do better memory when I have enough sleep at night and study more in the morning. (If I had knew, I do have "right" to kicked the suitemate out because it is my right to do what I want in my room as well.) I told her, "I'm sorry but I'm asking you to postpone. Friday night... You can do anything you want. It's free. I'm willing to let "suitemate" to watch Friday morning if she wanna that badly." She lied, "okay."

So, I went to sleep for about couple hours later. The tv flashes woke me up. At the end, we agrue and agure. Ended up with ra group and etc, It was wasted of time. I found out there's a lot of things that bother her and never told me one thing about what's bother her and she did a damn good at cover it up.

Point is that, when I spoke up and I asked what's wrong? I spoke up, I asked what's bothering you. I spoke up to ask, "..how, what, why, when, and etc" They never say anything until I said something.

Now, I'm going to try a new experiment with the "bitchy" girls so going through college and learn more mistake along the way before I go into the real world might be a good idea. As this quote said.... (more comments below the pix)

By the way, yes, I've been to AZ once before I was about 6 years old. I have already visit Grand Canyon(sp). I somewhat remember but not everything. I just remember small things here and there. I was quite young. Beside, that was North AZ,... where's my dad is going is very South of AZ. It is close to Mexico. It would take about 20 minutes to Mexico. It's true about taking a nice different scernery. Oh, my mom still have a hope to go to beach at least one week vaction this summer. In another word, mom wants to buy swimsuits to be prepare for it weather or not we're going. Still, my guts said that wouldn't going to happen.

Beside, I've already made my plans to go to Atlanta this Sept on first weekend Labor Day Weekend. So, I don't know. Plus, I found out the school start before Sept 1st, also. I dunno when will AZ start on the day and when will it ends. So, I'm just going to have to wait and see about that.

And.... I do have another plan........... that will come to later........