Reason why, I choice not to go to Gallaudet. I only have one class left and I do not want to waste my money to be full time student there, just for one #$%# class. I never been so pissed off in my whole life. I found out that I only have one class left as whole time I thought I was graudated (it's a long story.) I feel like what the heck wasted this #$%#$. What's done is done. What's important is for me to get that #$%# degree. In meantime, I discover that living in Texas more than one year, I get to go to University FREE because of my deafness and thanks to the government. So, again, I'm not going to waste more money on Gallaudet. Plus I already have high debt of student loan and I do not want to spend more on that craps. I have had enough. If I knew that student loan is bunches of B.S. I wouldn't have borrowed their money. They're like credit card. Geez!
So, after few weeks (or is it several weeks?) of consideration, I decided to be full time student at University. By the way, I finally have my courage to go there to visit by myself. It's a long drive alright. Sssshhhh don't tell my parents. *wink* Anyway, one thing I hate the most is the bridges, way too many. A few is so-so and one is good and none is best. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I never really comfortable driving up on the bridges. Unless it is flat, I'm good. This bridges are always rounded and... sorta like curve. I feel like I'm on a rollar coaster. In fact, I feel like my car would fall off the bridge. Yes, I know sound parainod(sp?). Like I said, I feel more comfortable of the bridge is flat and no curves. I toldenerance(sp) but I managed. Obvious, I do not like height. Anyway, I went there to explore alittle and lucky I decided to bring backpack so I can feel like being in the "pack" and not out of the loop there. Haha. Pretending to be a student and not a visitor. *g* It makes me feel a little better. I do not want tour guide. I rather check out for myself to see if I could ya know... to see if I'm feeling comfortable around. I explore around and found biology building and chemistry building. OY! It is sure a long walk. This University seems bigger than Gallaudet (or is it has been a while??). I did went inside the building and look around, too. I wrote down some names of the professor it is always show on the outside of the office. I look around hopefully to catch a glimpse some of the professors. I managed to saw a few as I walk by here and there (not just the office but classroom espeically if you pick the right timing when the class finished and to move on the new class like walk in the hall way around 1:52pm) It is best way to see them. So far, I think they are nice under my observation. After been experiences of meeting people and getting to know people, I'm starting to know weather or not they are good people by just by their charastic (sp? Means sorta like personality) faces. The way how they project themselves inside and out.
I feels funny for me to visit at University. It has been few years since I've been in school. I looked around. Surprisely, there are quite a lot of Asian people there. I heard that Asian people are quite intellenet people. I'm not sure if I wanna go for that. For some reason, that made me quite more nervous. Anyway, I just now realize something. So far, I don't see any Asian professors.... Weird. My main question is, can I handle that? Seem too high expectation for me...
*Sigh* There's something else pop in my mind. Maybe contact one of the biology advisor and ask to meet him/her to discuss more about classes and what they have and don't have. Maybe to find out what if I want to graduate at that Unversity and not Gallaudet? Would it give me a better chance to find job?? Or it doesn't really matter? Would that makes the differences or not?
What if I decided to stay a few more years? What if I decided to join sorinity(sp?)? I heard that join the greek society might give a better chance to find job because of connection and network. Someone could help you to find job because that person knows you and can give a better feedback. Plus able to involve activity shows that I can do teamwork and able to make commitments and hard worker. Mmmmm?? Once someone had mention to me, she said something like that, "I refuse to join because it is like "buying" friends." It's possible. I know someone who once join said that they seems very supportive on the outside while the inside it is not. There other person said that they are supportive inside and out. I think it has to do with what group is it and what kind of people are they inside that group. You have to pick the group wisely. I remember once when I use to involve Christians group this guy mention to me, "No matter where you are or what group you in (or what company you work in, I add this part), there's always two or three bad apples in the group." Nobody is perfect.
The thing is... I do not want to involve Christian anymore. So, what else is there a "group" other than Christian, A Greek Society?? I still would like to involve activity in a group. I realize I truly do enjoy doing that. However, I really do not like is lack of commuincation. I'm sure there's hearing people might have some sign language. However, there's limited. Plus, I finally know who am I so I don't feel under the pressure anymore of being somebody else that they expect me to be. I do not feel any burden heavy in my heart by trying to be "Christian" Crystal and not being "ME" Crystal. I feel that I'm being "ME" Crystal and as I mention before, I finally know who am I. Now, I do not have to be "Greek Society" Crystal. I'm Crystal who involve this "Greek Society" or "any names group" (ex: "Humane Society, and etc.") Maybe it might be wise to pick a group that something that I feel in common (not fit in but something that I feel relate with or something that I do believe in....
Let's go back what if I decided to stay few more years? Would I get tired of it? Would I feel burn out? Would I find my motive to stay? Will I find internship during the summer? Will I find internship is better than my previous internship?? Will I be able to continue or what? Well, one thing is that I still have one class left. If I do not want to continue few more years, then I can just transfer my class credit to Gallaudet and graudated from there. So, I think it would be wise if I just stay one semester as full time student and to test to see how I feel about staying in another year or so. To see if I have the motive to continue, to see if that is what I really want. To see if I am feeling comfortable about staying a little longer. After all, I'm getting older... Not younger.
Curious....Will I find a good guy there? Or would they be too young for me?? Mmmmm? Haha, I'm still mention about a guy... Who knows... any comments about my comments?
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